AKUSORA, Got it Memorized?
by Izzy-Lawliet
Summary: They met online, met in person, and became friends, what’s stopping them from becoming more? AkuSora.
1. SilentxxScreamer

**_Title: A-K-U-S-O-R-A, Got it Memorized?  
Author: Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)  
Disclaimer: Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?  
Pairings: Axel/Sora  
Rating: M  
Warnings: AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._**

**_Summary: _****_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping thm from becoming more?_**

**_Author's Note: This fic is being written in reply to a challenge on 'Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Archive'. _**

* * *

**SilentxxScreamer Has logged on**

**SilentxxScreamer: Got-It-Memorized Has sent you a private message request**

**Got-It-Memorized: **hey, sxy

**SilentxxScreamer: **What have I told you? Stop calling me sexy.

**Got-It-Memorized: **i ddnt call you 'sexy' I clled u 'sxy'

**SilentxxScreamer: **whatev. how was school today?

**Got-It-Memorized:** Hrrible, we had this reprt due 2day

**SilentxxScreamer: **And you dind't do it?

**SilentxxScreamer:** didn't

**Got-It-Memorized:** rght, how bout u

**SilentxxScreamer:** the usual. went to skool, made fun of, pushed iinto a locker, and forgot my homework

**Got-It-Memorized:** srry, bt u no if i was ther id kik ther asses for u

**SilentxxScreamer:** thanks, but since your not here, it doesn't matter

**Got-It-Memorized:** its the thought that counts

"Sora! Roxas! Dinner time!" My mom yelled at me from downstairs.

**SilentxxScreamer:** ur right. but anyways, I gtg. dinner time

**Got-It-Memorized:** u btter come bck on

**SilentxxScreamer:** I will

**SilentxxScreamer has logged off**

I exited out of the instant messenger screen and sighed heavily. I pushed back in my rolly-chair and stood up. I left my room and stared down the stairs to the dining room. As I was walking down the stairs I noticed that mom had put up more of the family picture while I was in my room, which still had boxes piled on top of boxes that needed unpacked.

See, we just moved here from Destiny Islands, here as in Twilight Town. Twilight Town is a small practically uncharted place on the map. It's very small and most people haven't heard off, except those who actually lived here. How and why we moved here, I don't know, but we did, so here we are. In a place rarely heard of, away from the few people who understood me, and into a place where I was made fun of constantly.

It sucked, but mom said that it'd get better, and of course I couldn't argue with her, I just sat back, pouted and mentally cussed her out. But that was last month. This month I met this guy online who's really fun to talk to, I was enrolled into a new school and I became a loner on the first day of the new school. That's only 'cuz this school revolved around cliques, cliques that were started before school did, and never ended till school ended, where new ones began. So that left me alone, like the other old new kids, to become a loner. Not that I really minded, I wasn't really social, it's kinda hard to be when you're a mute.

Yeah, you heard me right. I'm a mute, no one at school knew that except for the teachers. They _had _to know, or otherwise they'd call on me and then I'd be unable to answer them. But, I think, no I know, that if the kids at the school found out, then I'd be in deep doodoo. Yes, I said doodoo.

I made it downstairs to the kitchen that was almost done being complete, which wasn't a surprise to me. Mom loved to cook so it only made sense that this was one of the rooms that needed to be unpacked quickly. It was also one of the rooms that was packed up last. Surprise, surprise.

"Hey, honey. We're having steak and country-styled potatoes." She said happily, scooping the potatoes and splitting it up onto three plates, one for her, my brother, and me. I jumped up in excitement and sat in my seat, ready to start chowing down on this delicious food once Roxas got down here.

Roxas came down like five minutes after she had called us the first time, or the first time that I heard. He sat down and I immediately started chowing down. And was it good. Okay, no it was delicious! I always loved my mom's cooking.

"So, how was school today?" Our mom asked after she chewed a few bites of food.

"Good," Roxas answered, while I just simply shrugged, again, not being able to answer. The rest of dinner was held in silence like most dinners were. It was kinda awkward, or at least it seemed that way, for me. I think mom wanted to tell us something important but didn't know how to get it out or say it. I shrugged to myself and continued to eat, finishing off my food. I grabbed the plate and took it to the sink, and rinsed it off, laying it in the dishwasher.

I jogged up the stairs and into my room, shutting and locking the door behind me. I went to my computer desk, spun in the chair a couple times before pulling myself close to the desk to start typing away on my laptop. I logged in on Yahoo! Messenger, clicking invisible, and looking at my contacts for the guy that I love…to talk to?

He wasn't there so I clicked on him anyways, sending a message that he would get when he came back online.

**SilentxxScreamer: **Hey…gorgeous, text me when you can.

Then I logged off, jumping on my bed, landing on my stomach. So, this guy. I don't know what he looks like, I don't know how old he is, and I don't know that he's not some old serial rapist. But, I get this feeling from him, like he would really kick some guy's ass just to protect me. I wish he went to my school, then I would be able to see him and talk to him like an actual human being. Maybe, I could arrange to meet him somewhere, public at least so then we can talk face to face…no. Bad idea, he could be a serial rapists and he could be a billion years old.

But…I wanted to meet him; he seemed really cool, and really fun, and down to Earth and really understood me. He's 17 and his real name is Axel, A-X-E-L, Got it memorized? That's what he said – typed - the first time we met. I told him my name and that's what he said back. It was funny, I typed in 'lol' and really laughed out loud.

…

I logged out of Yahoo! and jumped on my bed again, I just finished another conversation with Axel. We have seemed to have gotten closer over the past few weeks. We came _this close _to having cybersex. I was like whoa!, the way he was talking gave me a boner the size of Texas, I couldn't help it. I didn't expect him to go that far, I was like ohmygod! I didn't know what to say, beside going along with it.

So here I am, on my bed, with a boner the size of Texas. I shifted on my bed uncomfortably, wanting to get rid of this problem that I was having, that was sooo uncomfortable. I looked to my door, and made sure that it was locked before sitting up and slipping off my shirt. I started to undo my pants, when my phone started to vibrate next to me. I sighed and picked it up, and checked the text message I just received.

_Yd u leave so soon. I wsnt done ; )_

I would have groaned, if I could, and started to reply back, although my body, especially _down there_ was telling me that I should ignore the cause of it and get back to taking care of it. _Why do you think?_

_Aww, u wnt me 2 hlp u out? Jst thnk of me the wth u, kissng u, tuchng u and gvng u pleasure u hve nvr known._

I wanted to moan out loud, letting my hand that wasn't holding my cell, push down my pants and boxers, leaving me naked on my bed, my penis standing tall. _Don't tease me. I'm……………hard._

_Good, cuz I am 2_

I didn't know how to reply to that. Was I supposed…what? What does he want me to say. Before I could even think of anything proper to say, my phone started ringing.

_'I'm so addicted to  
all the things you do  
when your goin down on me  
in between the sheets.  
All the sounds you ma-'_

I answered the phone, wondering who it was, when I really did know who it was, I gave him that particular song, cuz he said it was one of his favorites. I wonder why…everyone who had my number knew I couldn't talk, so there would be no point in calling me.

_"Hey there." _I could've sworn his voice got hotter than the last time he called. _"Now, I know you can't talk, but just let me do the talking." _I literally almost moaned _out loud, _if I could. His voice was all husky and…dare I say it sexy as hell. _"Now, lay back…"_

…

I was sitting in a booth at the ice cream parlor, sipping on a root beer float. I was so nervous. Axel said that he'd be meeting me here, alone. I was able to convince Roxas to drop me off, get me a drink, then leave and come back when I text him. So, I was waiting for him to arrive like he said he would. He text me earlier and said he thought it was time we met in person. I agreed right of th bat, but it was Roxas who I had to convince. He wasn't to sure about it, but he trusted my judgment, and told me to call him the first sign of trouble.

I was waiting patiently, Axel said when he got here, I would know, he was the sexy one with the red hair. I told him I was the one with the really spiky brown hair. He said he had spiky hair too, which made me wonder, how red _was _his hair? My back was facing away from the door, so every time the bell went off, I had to turn around completely. After three turns and no Axel, I was tired of turning around. He said he'd meet me here…I looked at my cell…ten minutes from now. Okay, maybe I was a little, only a little, impatient, but I really wanted to see him, then maybe we can be _real _friends.

I sighed and straightened out my notebook and red pen that I would use to talk to him. Without it, he would have to attempt to read sign language. I heard the bell ding on more time, but I didn't feel like turning around, so I started to scoop out some ice cream that was in my cup. I then heard some mumbles about a guy with weird hair. Could that be Axel?

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to look up at one of the hottest guys I think I'll ever see. His hair was like, wabam! and his eyes were this bright green that popped out, and true to what he said, he had red hair, it was like blood-red. I wonder if it's natural. Then there were also these upside-down teardrops under his eyes.

"Sora?" I nodded vigorously, smiling widely. "Good, I'm Axel, but you know that." I nodded again, and motioned for him to take a seat next to me. He smiles and does as I ask. "So how are you?"

I looked down, picked up my pen and started to write on my paper. _Great, now. It's nice to actually meet you. _

"You too. So you really are a mute?" I nodded slowly, looking down again, but this time embarrassed. "It's okay. I don't mind," He said to me, lifting my chin to look at him. "But I would've liked to hear your voice." He whispered huskily into my ear. My eyes widened in surprise, _wow, didn't think you were so straightforward. _I wrote on my paper after he released my chin.

"Sorry, it's hard to keep my hands off of you now I know what you look like." I blushed and didn't' write anything else. "You wanna get outta here?" I shook my head and regretted it after the look he gave me in return.

_I told my brother I would stay here. He'd kill me if I left. _

"Oh, that's it. I thought it was you didn't trust me." Axel laughed, and that one chuckle sent shivers up my spine. The way it resonated and hit my ears was like…whoa…

_No, I trust you. I trust you with my life, but my brother doesn't…_

"Then how about you introduce us so we cane know each other." I contemplated it and then nodded, taking out my cell phone and texting my brother, _come meet Axel. He's awesome! _"I'm awesome?" I nodded again. "Cool, so are you." I blushed. "Aww, you are too cute!" He leaned down slightly and kissed my cheek, causing me to blush even more.

…

Roxas and Axel loved each other, platonically. They're friends now; they hang out with each other even without me. It makes me wonder if something more is going on between them, but I think I'm just being paranoid. So, we're hanging out in the living room, playing Lara Croft: Angel of Darkness.

Roxas was intently paying attention to the game, while I was leaning against Axel with his arm around me. You could say we were going out, but then you'd be wrong. We're just friends…for now. I know we've had one-sided phonesex, and we actually completed a thing of cybersex, but that doesn't mean we're together, does it? Well, he hasn't said anything; he just kisses me occasionally, not on the mouth, only on the cheek.

I guess I was starting to fall asleep, because my eyes snapped open when Roxas started cussing at the TV because he died in the game. I jumped, then relaxed in Axel's embrace after he laughed at me. I pouted up at him and did a great big o' yawn.

"How 'bout we get you to bed?" I shook my head and crossed my arms after I pulled away from him, planting myself firmly on the couch. "Think that's gonna work?" I nodded, but didn't expect him to pick me up, bridal style. I would've shrieked out of shock if I could. "Yo, Roxas, I'm taking Sora up to bed." Roxas made this grunting noise to signal that he heard us while he ran through the Hall of Seasons from this undead skeleton thingy. I silently giggled at his antics and wrapped my arms around Axel's neck as he carried me up the stairs.

I was so scared that he would either drop me, or fall. Either one of those choices would include me being hurt. I hoped that he was strong enough that neither of that would happen. He opened my door without putting me down and entered my room. He kicked the door shut behind us. He took me to my bed and laid me down, or at least tried to. I kept my arms around his neck, keeping him close to me. He reached for my arms and gently pried them from around his neck. I sighed and then tugged on his shirt when he turned to leave.

"You want me to stay?" I nodded and patted the spot next to me. "You want me to _lay _with _you_?" I nodded again and smiled sheepishly up at him. "Okay, I can do that." He mumbled, more to himself than to me. He lay next to me, over the blankets while I was under them. I was freezing, for some reason, while he was able to stand being outside of the blanket. I then started to see him start to shiver. "Can I…never mind." I knew what he was about to ask, so I pushed down the blanket and covered him up, scooting into him to be closer.

He looked down at me and smiled, there was that feeling again. I had it not too long ago, the feeling where I had this _huge _urge to kiss him. To be close to him, to just be near him and closer than any two people could be…if you know what I mean. "Can I kiss you…?" I nodded quickly, before he could change his mind and take the question back. He chuckled at my enthusiasm and leant down, pressing his lips softly to mine. My first kiss…and it was amazing. I would've moaned if I could, just to show him how much I liked it, but alas(lol) I couldn't…

One of his hands was behind my neck, pulling me close to him, while the other was on the small of my back, rubbing little circles into my skin. I pulled away, needing air. Good thing I was laying down, that kiss would've knocked me right of my feet, it made me feel all tingly inside and especially…_down there._

"That was your first kiss, wasn't it?" I blushed and kissed him again to show that I wanted it and he shouldn't feel guilty that he was my first kiss, because I wanted it. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you want this?" He sat up, pulling me up with him. His hands were on my shoulders, keeping me a good distance away from him. _I want this. I want this badly. _I mouthed to him, hoping he understood me. He nodded his head in understanding and kissed me again, wrapping his arms around my waist.

We somehow ended up standing on our knees, pulling each others shirts off. When he got the shirt over my head, his lips went to my neck, sucking and biting. I put my hands on his shoulder, digging my nails into his skin and opening my mouth in a silent scream. I couldn't help but writhe and squirm as his kisses went lower and he laid me down on the bed. I looked up to him with flushed cheeks and a smirk that I was hoping was sexy, apparently it was because he moaned and laid on top of me, laying kisses wherever he could reach as he started to undo my pants.

I was so far gone; I would've let him done anything to me. I would've maybe even let him rape me if that's what he wanted. But that wasn't what he wasn't. He just wanted to love me, I think. Wait, should we do this, we haven't even said 'I love you' to each other. And that's what sex it all avout, right? That's what my first time should be, done out of love, not lust, it should be lovemaking, not sex or…or _fucking. _Right? Right.

I dislodged our kiss and removed Axel's hands from my pants, which he was having trouble undoing. "What's wrong, my angel?" I blushed at the name but forced him to sit up anyways. I sat up with him, him on top of me with his legs on either side of mine. I reached over and grabbed the notebook on my bedside table, writing every question that came to mind down.

_What are we? What are we doing? Is this just an attempt to get into my pants? Do you love me? Do you really want to do this? Do I really want to do this?_

I turned the notebook around so he could read it. His eyes were wide open when he looked at me. "Wow, are you thinking about all that?" I nodded forcefully and kinda glared at him, waiting the answers to this question. "We are whatever you want to be, friends, boyfriends, friends with benefits, anything you want." Before he answered the next question, I wrote something on the paper. "Boyfriends? Of course. And, if you don't know what we are doing…I could always just show you." He pushed down the notebook and kissed me hotly on the mouth. I backed away from him and pointed at the notebook, signaling that he needed to answer the rest of the questions. "Fine. No, this isn't an attempt to get in your pants, if it was, I would've done this looong ago. And yes, I love you and I really want this and I'm hoping you want it to."

_Then let's make love. _I wrote on the notepad, then I threw it across the room to jump on him and kiss him fully on the lips, wrapping my arms around his neck, once again. The jolt I got when our bare chests met caused me to shiver again. It did the same for Axel, but he moaned out at the contact.

"Your wish is my command." He said, and laid me down on the pillow. He kissed me softly on the lips before he sat back up, undoing my pants and pulling them down and off. I blushed and looked away as I noticed he was staring at me. "Don't be shy…you're beautiful. Now, are you sure you want this?" I nodded for what seemed like the billionth time in less than an hour. He stood up and started to undo his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers before climbing back on top of me with the grace of a cat.

I sighed again at the contact, this time shivering uncontrollably. He chuckled at that and started to kiss me slowly this time, passionately, something I never thought would happen, especially with someone as hot and perfect as Axel. I wanted to tell him that, but obviously I couldn't, because I was a fucking stupid mute! It sucked, I was never able to talk, to tell someone I loved them, especially to someone who deserves it, like Axel.

"Baby! What's wrong? What'd I do? Why're you crying?" He asked frantically. I took one of my hands and wiped at my face to find that I _was _actually crying, and that only made me cry more. "Angel, don't cry." He removed my hand and started to kiss the tears away. I couldn't help but cry more after that. Axel then realized that it was his doing on why I was crying. "What'd I do?"

I shook my head and pointed to the notebook and pen that was on the other side of the room. He picked it up and tentatively handed it to me. I wrote on it, tears falling onto it with my words.

_I want to be able to tell you how I feel, I want to moan, I want to say your name, I want to tell you I love you…but I can't. and it hurts. I just want to be able to tell you everything that's on my mind, but I…_

"Aww, baby, sweetie, it doesn't matter to me. Just knowing that you do is enough. I know you can't talk, and that's fine with me, so don't cry Angel." I smiled through my tears at his words. I knew he meant them, the look in his eyes, and the serious tone in his voice gave it all away. I reached out for his hand and he grabbed it, taking it and coming back on the bed. "Now, do you want to do this? We can always wait…" He trailed off by kissing my lips gently; it was one of those barely-there kisses that left me wanting more. But his question really made me think.

_Did I want this? _The answer was no. I just wanted to be close to Axel, to feel his skin against mine, to hear his heartbeat, to feel his breath on my skin. That's wall I wanted, and that's all I needed, I didn't need to do _it _now, like he said, we could always wait. The thought made me smile, just knowing that he would wait for me was wonderful.

I shook my head. "Okay, but do you want me to take care of that?" He asked, pointing down to the problem between my legs. I shook my head again and curled up to him, kissing his broad chest. "Okay, you wanna just lay here though, right?" I nodded this time, loving the way he wrapped is arms around me.

…

**Now, I was going to go all the way, but then I thought, there'd be no sequel! So there you go, now again, if anyone has any requests for a pairing, just tell me in a review!**


	2. I love you, Got it Memorized?

**_Title: _****_I Love You, Got It Memorized?_****_  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)**  
Disclaimer: **Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora**  
Rating: **M**  
Warnings: **AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? Sequel to A-K-U-S-O-R-A, Got it Memorized?_

**Author's Note: **Wow, I loved making this, it was so fun, and yet so hard because I had to keep Sora silent the WHOLE time. It was kinda complicated. I just wish that I'd get some more reviews for my hard work…hint hint, nudge nudge. **And I would like to thank my awesome beta – starry-nights88. She's awesome, so go read her smut – it's fucking hot! **So, anyways, enjoy the smut – I mean story. Oh, and before I forget, I'm still taking requests for pairing, as long as it's slash, Yuri or Yaoi, I don't know how to write anything else.

**xxx**

We were lying together, and I fell asleep listening to Axel's heartbeat. But, I was rudely awakened by my brother…again. He came in shouting about something. I couldn't really understand him seeing as how I had just woke up. But it had something to do with Axel, molesting, and little brother. But other than that, I didn't hear a single word from Roxas. I was just too tired.

Next thing I knew I was being pulled from Axel's arms, and into my brother's. I grabbed the blanket as I was being pulled to cover myself up, I didn't want Roxas to see me nude. But, for Axel he had to slip on his boxers, or at least that's what I could see with my eyes adjusting and all that. "Sora! Are you okay?! Did he hurt you?!" I looked up to Roxas with a huge question mark above my head. "Sora!? Answer me!"

"He can't talk, remember?" Axel said in defense to my condition.

"Shut up. I knew that. Nod if you're okay," I nodded. "Good, now Axel," He turned to face him with a huge glare, one with so much hate that it was amazing. "What the _fuck _do you think you're doing with my brother?! Why in the _hell _would you take advantage of someone like him, who obviously couldn't protest or scream for help?! You are unbelievable! Now, get your clothes and get out of this house, and never contact my little brother again!" I was shocked, to say at the least. Roxas was actually kicking my boyfriend out of the house. Why? Oh, I guess he thought Axel did something to me, especially since we're both naked and were cuddled up to each other.

I shook my head and made sure the sheet was wrapped around me before jumpingover the bed to into Axel's arms. I closed my eyes tight and wrapped my arms, and the blanket, around him, not caring that under it I was naked. I didn't want him to leave, we finally got close like I've been waiting for, and Roxas had to freak like the overprotective brother he is.

For like the third or fourth time today, tears started to pour down my cheeks, wetting Axel's tanned skin. "Angel, don't cry. I won't leave, not unless you want me to…" I shook my head and wrapped my arms tighter around his body. "Okay, okay, I won't. I'll stay…if Roxas will let me…" Stupid Axel! Roxas wouldn't let him stay, not after freaking out like that. That'll be the last thing he'll want. "So, Roxas, will you let me stay with my _boyfriend_?"

"Boy-boyfriend?" I nodded, my face still in Axel's chest. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't kn-know." My brother continued, "Forgive me, Sora, Axel?" I nodded again, but this time reluctantly, knowing it would kill my brother if he thought I was still mad at him.

"Yeah, dude, I forgive you, now…can you leave us to talk?" Axel asked. I stepped back from Axel, and quickly wrapped the blanket back around me, noticing the quick look-over Axel gave me. I turned around and started to pout at Roxas, giving him the best puppy-dog pout I could muster up. He sighed but didn't say anything, and walked to the door, shutting it quietly as he walked out into the hall. I turned and smiled up at Axel, happy that we were left alone again.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

We were back in the living room, Roxas playing the PS2, this time Final Fantasy X-2. Axel was currently interested in making me happy in the pants. His teeth were biting along my collar bone and his tongue was swirling around the most sensitive parts of my neck. Good thing I was a mute, for I'd be moaning like no tomorrow and that would get us in trouble with Roxas, and I don't like seeing him and Axel bicker, even if they were only playing.

Well, while he was attacking my neck, I decided to try and get back at him, get _him _in trouble for teasing me and making me all hard. I conspicuously let my hand wander over his thigh to his happy place, rubbing him through his pants. This action caused him to stop his ministrations and back away from my neck. I smirked at him and continued to massage him through his jeans, then I straddled his hips, moving so I put pressure on his semi-erection. I then did something like a lap-dance and started to grind and move my body against his body to the song that was playing on the game. Oh wow, I've changed so much from an innocent virgin to an innocent virgin tease. I didn't stop the lap-dance until he let out a loud moan when I put enough pressure on him, that it should've hurt, but instead it gave him tons of pleasure.

"Guys, if you are going to do that, which I know you are 'cause I can see your reflection in the TV (_Sora_), then take it upstairs." Roxas complained, and then went back to his game. Axel apparently liked this idea, for he pushed me off of his lap, caught me, picked me up, and started to carry me up the stairs, very much like the first day we were together. I giggled silently at the fact he was so eager to get up to my bedroom.

We entered my room; Axel kicking the door closed and, again, threw me on my bed. I silently shrieked and looked up at Axel with fearful eyes, what was he thinking? He sat next to me and started to pet my hair, apparently trying to tame my spikes. As I was looking at him more thoroughly, his eyes started to calm and his breathing wasn't as labored. He seemed relaxed and content. Now, that's my Axel. His hand trailed down the side of my face, lying on my cheek, his thumb rubbing across my lips. I smiled and laid my hand on top of his, causing him to smile in turn. Axel slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer. I could never have him close enough, nothing was close enough for me, nothing was satisfying. I wanted it to be, I _needed _it to be. I wanted – had – to be closer to him, even of it was just for a moment, I had to be.

I backed up and mouthed 'closer' to him. "What do you mean closer?" Axel asked me. I pursed my lips together in thought. How could I tell him how I wanted to be closer, without having to be able to actually _tell him_? I took off my shirt, and then started to reach for his before my hand was stopped by his. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" I tried again, this time he didn't stop me. I lifted his band tee and threw it across the room and attached my lips to his hungrily. He reacted slowly, not realizing what I was doing. I just wanted to be close to him, I didn't want to do it – have sex. I just need to be close to the man I love. And he eventually got the idea for he quickly took off both our clothes and laid us down together, pressing our bodies close together, both of us sighing in pleasure and contentment.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

"I love you." Axel moaned into my ear as we were waiting for the movie to start. I smiled and didn't bother mouthing the same thing to him, he knew even without me writing it down or anything. The lights started to dim and the previews started to play. I didn't bother paying attention; I already saw them when I saw this movie with my brother. Axel was so excited to see it when he came over to my house that day, I just couldn't turn him down and let him know I already saw it, it'd break his heart. So, here I am, watching this movie with Axel that I already saw with Roxas. Again, I wasn't going to tell him, he didn't have to know.

After the previews were over, the movie finally started. Axel looked over to me and smiled widely, anticipating the movie, I smiled back the same way just to please him. He bought it, thankfully. I continued to look at him, even though he turned back to the screen. I couldn't help but stare at him. He was too beautiful. It was amazing that I ended up with him; I never thought someone as unlucky as me would end up being so lucky and get this godsend angel. I know, I know, that's really cheesy and corny, or whatever. But I think it's completely true. He's an angel; he treats me like one too. He's never hurt me, emotionally or physically, and he makes sure I have everything I need, and he texts me every five minutes to ask if I need anything. It's really sweet, he's really sweet.

He would never do anything to make me uncomfortable either. Which makes me think, if I said stop in the middle of sex, would he stop? Of course he would…right? He wouldn't just continue to do what he was doing, and he wouldn't hurt me, right? Wait, why do I doubt his love for me? I've done enough of that before, and he's reassured me that he does love me, and he would never ever hurt me. Okay, enough of this, back to the whole sex thing.

Am I ready for sex, I mean we've been together for over a month, and he hasn't pushed me into anything. We've already seen each other naked, so there wouldn't be any awkwardness between us. I don't know what other factors there are to think about, I just hope when it camedown to it, it'll all be about how much we love each other.

I guess I was still staring at Axel, 'cuz he turned to look at me oddly. I blushed, bit my lip, and looked to the movie that was probably more than half-way over. It _was _over. I blushed a deeper shade, realizing that I was thinking the whole movie, and wasn't paying attention; at least I already saw it.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

Axel attacked my neck, his most favorite place to bite, besides – never mind. I sighed and tried to pry him off my neck, trying to tell him something important. Instead, his hand traveled down my bare body, which he had succeeded in seeing over thirty minutes ago, and went down _there_. He was still fully dressed and it was unfa-ahahahah! God! That feels good. Oh god! God, oh god, oh god, OH GOD! I ca-n't think strai-gaaa! Ohmygod! That feels so fucking good. I mean, I knew he was good with his mouth, but this is just un-fucking-believable.

Oh, I could feel it, the feeling in the pit of my stomach, the heat that runs through my whole body, telling me that I was close and I would come…any…sec--ahhhhh!! I would've screamed out loud if I could, instead, just settling with grabbing on Axel's shoulders, digging my nails into his skin, and bucking up, arching my back and releasing into Axel's mouth. After I finished coming, I realized that Axel was at the end of my bed, hand down his pants and moaning my name. I blinked once, taking in the orgasmic sight of Axel jerking himself off, and climbed over to him kissing his neck and pulling his hand out of his pants, replacing it with my own. My cold hand wrapped around his shaft, pumping it in time with how fast my tongue was lapping at his neck. He was _veeery_ vocal. "Oh, god, Sora. Please, please, puh-lease! Don't stop! Sora, Sora, oh god Sora!" I felt his…you know shake slightly before I felt the sticky substance on my hand. I decided to take a chance and I brought my hand out from his pants, and brought it up to my mouth, carefully licking off every little bit of come that was there. He moaned again then kissed me, making sure to ravish my mouth. I couldn't help but lean into the kiss and let him take control of it.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

_I wanna try, at least._ I wrote on the piece of paper and turned it so that Axel and Roxas could read it. We were discussing sex. Yes, we're discussing sex with my brother. That's only because he walked in when Axel and I were talking about it, and my boyfriend and his _big _mouth had to say it _too _loud, and Roxas had to overhear. Now, we were at the table, arguing back and forth on why we can't do it. I sighed when Roxas started on the whole 'if-I-wanted-to-stop-we-couldn't-because-I-wouldn't-be-able-to-say-it'. I sighed heavily as I wrote on the sheet of paper again. _I wouldn't WANT to stop! I want it, that's the WHOLE reason we're sitting here discussing this. _Axel looked over to Roxas and laid his hand on his forearm to keep him from speaking up again.

"Let's give it a try…" Axel said causing me to punch the air in excitement. "But…" Damn those buts… "You top…" I widened my eyes and shook my head. I would **not **take Axel's virginity. I mean, I know he would be taking mine, but it's different, 'cuz he's so dominant, it just wouldn't' be right. "Either it's that, or nothing." I contemplated it for about five minutes, finally deciding that I _would _give it a _try_.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I trudged up the stairs, angry. Today was horrible, I was picked on more so than usual and pushed into _two _lockers, causing my shoulders to have these huge bruises. They hurt with even the slightest touch. I hope that they don't stay for awhile; I don't want Axel to be all _'Aww, poor baby,'_ then kiss them over and over again to get me to feel better. I don't mind him doing that, don't get me wrong. But, I just don't want him to worry about me, seeing as he can't protect me because he goes to another school as a senior.

I walked past Roxas' room, him standing by the door, giving me an unreadable look. I didn't know what I was supposed to get from that. I mean, it was a smug grin/smirk look, like he knew something that I didn't. and I swear, _to God!, _that he whispered, "Have fun, baby brother." I _swear, _he said that. No joke.

Anyways, I continued to walk to my bedroom, not knowing that Axel was in there waiting for me. I opened my door and was surprised by what I saw, so surprised that I literally dropped the books that I was carrying. The room was practically pitch black, except for the few candles that littered the room and made it smell like cucumber melon. And then, the best part, was laying on my bed. Axel was completely naked, a sight I loved to see and never could get tired of. He was sitting on my bed; legs open as he sat on the edge. I didn't do anything as he silently beckoned me to walk over to him. I did as he said, straddling his lap when he pulled me to him.

"Now before you ask, 'what am I doing?', listen to my proposition, I wanted to have sex with you since I first saw you. I wanted to fuck you into this bed. But-but, I didn't think you were really a mute then. But, once I found out, I knew I had to be careful with you, no matter how much it would be against my whole being. So, now, I'm offering myself to you one more time, or we can go your way without any more protests on my part. Do you want to make love to me, or do you really want to be the bottom?" I stared in awe at him, he did not really just say all that. I started to cry out of my own control and hugged my clothed body closer to his bare.

"Do you want to top?" He asked a simply question, one that I could reply to with a nod of my head.

But, did I really want to make love to Axel, well that was a given, but did I want to top? Did he love me that much, and trust me well enough that he would let me do this. I didn't know what to reply with. Who knew if he really trusted and cared for me – _oh shut up! _I nodded my head forcefully, wiping away my tears.

"Then, we just have to undress you and then I'll tell you what to do from there," He said softly, kissing away the tears that still ran down my face. I nodded again and let him carry me and turn towards the bed to lay me down. I looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, afraid of what was going to happen soon. I mean, what if I hurt him? Would he be mad and hate me? _Shut up! _I heard my inner being – a child Sora – yell at me as I doubted mine and Axel's love and then again this time. Axel was kissing my neck, which had become some fetish for him. His hands were working on my sides, massaging them as I liked him too. He lifted my shirt up to my neck and let his kisses go down to my chest, to play around my nipples. He nipped and sucked at one, causing me to arch in pleasure, while his hand played with the other one. I tossed my head from side to side, wishing that I could moan and scream out at how good this felt, but obviously I couldn't. I sighed once out of annoyance then sighed heavily and started to pant at Axel's ministrations. His hand and mouth switched sides in a quick moment, and then continued their work.

After he lifted his head, he kissed my lips once, lifting my shirt all the way off my head. I shook my head once it was off, fixing my natural spikes that might have gotten messed up during the process. His hands went straight to my jeans, skillfully undoing them and pulling them down and off my legs. But this time, he did something new, he started to kiss my thighs, and the rest of my skin as it showed. His kisses trailed down my legs, to my calves, then to my ankles, and finally to my feet, where he kissed each one once, then crawled back up my body.

His hands hooked their fingers on the side of my boxers and started to pull them down, and for the millionth time, revealed my semi-erect penis. I blushed, again for the millionth time, as he looked over my body with lust-filled eyes. I bit my bottom lip, waiting for him to get over his 'amazement' and 'awe' over my body, one that he had ever since he first saw me naked. I sat as patiently as I could, but couldn't help the wiggle in anticipation that my hips let out. Axel shook out of his 'shock' and smiled up and me, blushing slightly – or maybe he was slightly flushed, why? His hands laid on my lips as he climbed over me, laying on my body, now full skin to skin.

I gasped out loudly, not being able to help the feeling I always get when we're like this. Axel did the same, but this time from my cold body to his abnormally warm one making him gasp out. We both smiled at each other before kissing passionately. Axel rolled us over, letting me top, for some reason that I didn't kno – oh right! I'm topping…_shit._ What does that mean, what am I supposed to do? Dammit, I should've looked it up on the internet before even bringing it up with Axel…_dammit! _

Axel must've, _must have, _noticed the expression on my face, chuckling slightly, but leaning up to kiss my nose in a comforting manner. I blushed and looked away. His hand went under my chin and forced me to look back at him. I closed my eyes tightly, not looking him in the eye, afraid he'd see my embarrassment and fear. "Please open your beautiful blue eyes, Angel." I did as he asked, not wanting to disappoint him. "There we go…now are you afraid? What's wrong, baby? Are you afraid?" I didn't answer, either by shaking or nodding my head. "It's okay you can tell me, are you scared?" I didn't want to tell him, but I knew that he wouldn't go any further unless I said something. _Stupid, sexy, caring man. _

I nodded reluctantly, his hand still holding my chin in his grasp. "We don't have to do this, if you don't want." I shook my head, causing him to let go of my chin in the process. _I want this._ I mouthed at least three-and a half times. What can I say, I wanted him to be able to understand me and be able to comprehend this. Well, anyways, the fourth time was interrupted by Axel pressing his mouth hotly to mine. I couldn't help but let my eyes roll to the back of my head, sighing in contentment as I let him take control of the kiss.

"Now, take this," He handed me a small tube that he produced from out of nowhere and laid it in mine. "And rub it over your…thing." Axel blushed in embarrassment, his face almost matching his hair. I giggled the best I could in this situation, kissing both his cheeks, his skin warming my lips. I rolled off of Axel and opened the tube of…lubrication? Wow, anyways, I did as he said, and started to rub it over my erection, the slightly cold sensation sending shivers up my spine. I couldn't help but moan out in pleasure, and continued to jerk myself off. I stopped when I felt Axel's hand on mine. I opened my eyes, which had shut in the process of lubing myself up, and looked shyly at Axel who was still laying on the bed. "Okay, I think that was enough, Angel." He chuckled, causing me to blush. "Now, lay on top of me, and settle yourself in between my legs." He stuttered a little as he said that, obviously uncomfortable, or something among those lines. I, again, did as I was told and laid on him like he said.

"Now, I take it you know what to do from here?" I looked at him questioningly, what about him? "Don't worry about me; I already took care of that." I smirked down at him and loved how his face turned another shade of red. "I just wanted to…I mean…It would…uh…just get on with it!" I smiled and kissed his lips slowly, and sen-sensually (That's the word). I continued to kiss him as I laid my hand on my fully-erect shaft, and started to guide it to Axel's entrance. When I touched barely touched the opening, he gasped out loud and his hands flung to my shoulders for something to grasp. I pushed it in slowly, as slow as I could possible.

That was hard(no pun intended), the whole feeling was unbelievable, the tightness, the heat, the just overall feeling of it was too much for me to handle. I never expected something to feel this good, to make me feel so good, yet so bad at the same time. Good – for obvious reasons – and bad, for the fact that I was hurting him. I could tell that by Axel's expression, how his eyes were tightly shut and his jaw was locked, that he was in pain, and it was my fault.

His eyes slowly opened to look at me, my lips, to see if I had anything to say, something he did often. _Axel…are you-_ "Yes, I'm o-okay. Just I have to get used to it right," I nodded slowly, not exactly sure that the pain would go away after a while. "Just, keep going, Angel." I did as he said, pushing all the way in, dropping my head as I tried to compose myself. It was just too good. "Now, move." He didn't even give himself time to get used to the size – which might I add isn't small at all. "Go ahead, baby. I know it'll get better." I was hesitant in moving, wanting to wait for him to feel comfortable, but my body betrayed me, moving without my consent.

I slowly pulled out, trying to ignore the gasps and winces of pain. I thrust back in quickly but somehow softly. I would've moaned out – again if I could – at the feeling of being wrapped in this tight heat that I've never experienced before. Axel gasped loudly when I thrust back in, his eyes going wide, and then he said softly, "Right there! Right – _fucking – _there!" I slowly pulled back out again, and rammed myself back in, not moving the way I was positioned so I would do whatever I did just now. He gasped once more before letting it out into a soft moan.

"Oh, God, Sora." I shivered as he moaned my name, never really having said it like that before. "Please, faster." I nodded and moved faster, not taking my time to pull out, but instead going quickly, hitting whatever I hit before. He moaned every time I thrust back in, each moan getting louder and louder, and his words getting worse as he yelled out profanities.

I loved the feeling of this, the heat that I got when I was inside of him, then the chill I got from the AC when I pulled out, almost slipping from his opening, but then throwing my self back in there, eyes rolling to the back of my head. My body felt hot, sweat dripping from every one of my pores, the same for Axel, the moisture helping me slip in and out of my now-lover.

I felt the feeling in my stomach and I knew Axel was close too. His dull nails scratching down my back, his moaning becoming incoherent and the bucking of his hips closing down on me were a sure to god, that he was close. I thrust who-knows-how-many times into him before I saw one of Axel's hands go between our bodies and start to jerk on his – larger than mine – penis. I smiled down at his pleasure-filled face. I would've – if I could've – removed his hand and replaced it with mine, if my hands weren't situated on either side of his body, holding myself up, keeping me from collapsing on top of him. His had went faster and faster, eventually matching my erratic thrusts somehow. He moaned loudly, and then screamed my name, relaxing under me after what seemed like a seizure.

All of a sudden, his entrance clamped down on my shaft, causing me to scream as best as I could, saying my lover's name silently. I couldn't help the fact that I fell onto Axel, hoping that I didn't hurt him when I fell. I felt his hands lay on my back, pulling me close to him, whispering 'I love you' over and over again in my ear. I worded it back to him, mouthing it on his skin.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

"So how was it?" My brother asked for the billionth time. I didn't answer for the billionth time. But this on time the he had to ask, was when not only Axel was watching TV in the living room, but Mom was too. I glared at him, hoping that my point got through. "I just wanted to know, I mean the noises that I heard – _Axel _– were…wow. I almost had an orgasm." Axel laughed along with Mom, ignoring the glares I sent all of them.

Yes, Mom knew we had – made love. She came home in the middle of it, not bothering us of course, but making sure she thought right with Roxas. Now the two of them have like some conspiracy against me to make me embarrassed. Axel thinks it's funny, although he's secretly embarrassed too. He just knows how to hide it with laughter while I glare at people, not really being able to argue back.

"Aww, come on, Angel. Just answer him and he'll leave us alone." He whispered loud enough for only me to hear. I grabbed the notebook off the table and quickly written in some of my worst writing, _Why don't you? _"Okay I will." I widened my eyes and tried to write as quickly as possible. _Don't! If you do, I disown you as my boyfriend. _"Too late. Hey Roxas, Sora wanted me to tell you that it _was great! _If you don't believe that, believe the limp and pain in my ass." I blushed like a billion different colors as everyone in the room laughed. _Stupid, caring man that I love, 'Got it memorized?'_


	3. I'm Sorry, Got it Memorized?

**_Title: I'm Sorry, Got it Memorized?_****_  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin) **  
Disclaimer: **Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora**  
Rating: **M**  
Warnings: **AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **I got an idea for this fic, from someone. And I think I can make a full fic out of this, but it will be random to how far apart it is updated. So yeah, on to the story, and thanks to **Starry-Nights88 **for beta-ing my story.

**xxx**

So, after the whole embarrassing moment thing, Axel and I went back up to my room, not to do anything, but just to hang and go on the computer. I sat on the computer, while Axel lounged out on my bed texting god-knows who. I checked my Yahoo!, Myspace, and MSN, not getting any emails, obviously. Not having any friends beside my brother and my boyfriend right here, who else would email me? I don't even know why I have those accounts. They're completely pointless, right? I mean, why would a mute need all those accounts without any friends? Well, who cares, just in case, ya know?

"Hey babe?" I turned and cocked my head to the side in a, '_what_' type of way. "I love you." I smiled and mouthed the same words to him with a great smile on my face. I couldn't help as I knew my eyes were shining and flickering with happiness. "Come 'ere." I spun in my chair twice before hopping out of it, walking over to him and lying down with him. "What do you want to do?" I made a yawn and stretched my arms and ended up wrapping them around his neck. "Sleep?" I nodded and cuddled into Axel's chest.

Of course I didn't really go to sleep, how could someone go to sleep on a Saturday morning after they slept all night and some the day before? After having sex? No one, that's who. I evened out my breath subconsciously, trying to feign sleep, even if it's just for a little while. I just wanted to lay close to Axel, I guess I didn't have to say I was sleeping, but it just seemed more conventional. As I lay in his arms, I felt his wrap around my back, one hand staying near my neck to play with the spikes that lay there. His other hand went to my back, under my shirt, to rub imaginary drawings into my skin. I sighed as his hands worked my skin and hair, lightly pulling on the strands, causing me to squirm. "I knew you were awake." I blushed, but looked at him either way, smiling big.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I was walking close to Roxas as we headed toward our table outside for lunch. I sat down and pulled out the bag mom had packed me, Roxas did the same and started to chow down on his food. I, instead of 'chowing down', ate carefully, picking at my chips and taking small bites of my PB and J sandwich. I pulled my Capri Sun and attempted to get the straw into the little hole. I struggled with it twice before holding it out to my brother to help me. He stuck the straw in my drink and passed it back to me before standing up, "I gotta pee." I nodded and let him walk of without taking a second glance at him.

A couple moments later, I felt him sit down next to me, but too close for comfort. I turned the other way and reached into my bag, ignoring the personal space invader for now, and grabbed my notebook from my bag to tell Roxas to back off. I turned to look at him, just to give him a slight glare, and mentally shrieked with happiness. I wrapped my arms around the personal space invader and gave him a quick kiss on his neck.

I turned to the notebook and wrote, '_What the fucking hell are you doing here?!?!' _He smiled and was about to speak when I got hit in the head with a paper ball. I flinched at the contact and closed my eyes shut, ignoring the laughs and sighing. I heard Axel growl deep in his throat, much different from the way he usually did when we were together. I turned and placed my hand on his arm, to keep him calm. I didn't want any problems, especially with the guys over there. "Who do they think they are?" He snapped under his breath.

_'Just some guys. Don't worry about them.' _"But…" I shook my head forcefully, succeeding in shutting him up. "Fine…" I smiled in triumph and leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. I heard the guys that had thrown something at me mutter to each other in disgust. I knew Axel heard them to, for he tensed up against me and tried to pull away. To get him to stay, I fisted my hands in his shirt, and pulled him close to me in an attempt to kiss him deeper. He bought into it and wrapped his arms tightly around me. He muttered something against my lips and then somehow pushed me away from him and stood up. I was about to do the same when Roxas came into view and jumped on Axel to give him a hug. While they were hugging he gave me a wink and mouthed, '_You owe me'. _I nodded and mouthed a thanks in reply.

"Hey, Roxy." Axel said through gritted teeth, prying my brothers arms from around his neck.

"What are you doing here, Ax!" Roxas said, mock happiness. But of course, Axel couldn't tell.

"I came here to see my boyfriend and his bangable brother." He teased, his mood slowly returning to normal.

"Oh I know, I am oh-so-bangable." Roxas said, with a flick of his hips. Axel laughed, along with me, at my brother's stupid antics. I shook my head and stood, wrapping my arms around Axel's body and pulled him close, loving the warmth he gave off. I closed my eyes and sighed softly, but audibly against his chest, nuzzling my face into it, also getting a whiff of his wonderful smell.

"Hey, you two. I have to get back to school, I can't afford to miss more than one class." I nodded and wrapped my arms around him once more, this time tighter. His hand went under my chin to lift my gaze up to him to bring my lips to his in a slow, sensual kiss. Roxas eventually cleared his throat to separate us. "Sorry, Roxy, I just couldn't keep my hands off of him…" He kept looking at me, his hands sliding down to grab my butt. I jumped and accidentally threw myself closer into his body, causing him to stumble back slightly.

I backed away from Axel and let him kiss me chastely on the lips before turning and walking toward the gate that surrounded the school. I questioningly stared at him as he walked away towards the metal fence. He stopped a couple feet short from it and then ran to jump up and over the gate easily, impressing both my brother and I.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

Axel snuck into our school again. He was sitting with Roxas when I came up to him. He smiled widely, kissed me briefly on the cheek and then went to sit back down. Now, I wasn't happy with the kiss so I pulled on his shirt collar to pull him back down into a much deeper and loving kiss. Just as my tongue touched his lips, he pulled away, gently prying my hands from his shirt. I looked up at him questioningly but all he did in return was shrug. I huffed and walked away, going to the tree that sat not to far away from the table.

"She's so beautiful, I love her so much. She's like…I don't know." Axel started, all dreamy like. Who is he talking about?

"What does she look like? What's she like?" Roxas asked, all interested in what he was saying. "What's her name?" I crossed my arms and huffed again. I don't think the realized I was sitting so close to them.

"She's…I don't know how to describe her. She's fast, dangerous, and sexy as hell. Her name's Charlotte. I mean, I _love _running my hands down her frame, feeling every curve and whatnot. She's just so hot!" I gaped at them while they continued there stupid conversation about some stupid girl, who Axel was…_doing what with_! How…I can't believe it…I can't believe him…And Roxas, he's actually okay with this. I…I don't believe…

I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes and my nose start to get that crying feeling. My eyebrows scrunched up, tears started to fall, and I stood up, running to the bathroom to hide. I faintly heard Axel and Roxas call after me. But I couldn't care less. They both betrayed me and that was fucking messed up.

I walked into the bathroom, ignoring the group of bullies that were in there talking and laughing. I walked into a stall and locked it behind me. I sat on the back of the toilet, with my feet on the seat. I heard a knock on the stall door, but didn't bother to look up or even open it. "Hey, _Angel, _why don't you come out here, we can help make you feel better." I kicked the door as my reply. They chuckled to each other before the 'leader' went back to patronizing me. "Feisty, I like it. Come on Sora, come out and play." I kicked the door harder this time, trying to get them to go away. They just kept laughing, much to my dismay.

I heard the main bathroom door open and heard two sets of footsteps. "Hey, jerks, leave my brother alone!" Roxas called, again to my dismay. I really didn't appreciate his help. Not after what he did to me.

"Or what _Pretty boy_," The bully commented.

"Or this," I heard Axel growl before I heard the bully fall to the floor. I saw him collapse to the floor, under the door. I heard a bunch of calls that they should go, and tell a teacher or something along the lines of that. "Hey, Angel. What's wrong?" I scowled at the door, mentally wishing that Axel and my brother would go away. Even though I knew they couldn't see me, I shook my head either way. "Please, tell me what's wrong." He backed away from the door, as he said this.

Roxas took over his spot. "Hey, baby bro. What happened? Did those guys do something to you?" I could hear the worry in his voice as his protective-brother-mode kicked in. Next thing I know, I see Axel sliding underneath the stall, a notebook and pen in hand as he pushed himself off the ground to stand in front of me. I crossed my arms and turned my head to look away defiantly.

"Hey, Roxy, do you think you could wait outside?" Axel asked, turning his head slightly, but his eyes not moving from mine. Roxas grunted in reply then left he bathroom. "Now, tell me Angel what's wrong?" One of his hands went to cup my cheek while the other held out the notebook that had teeth marks on the side. I slapped away his hand, glaring at him, staring straight into his eyes. His eyes turned from worry, to a look of hurt and confusion. He kept holding the journal out for me to grab, but he didn't make any motion to lay his hand on my cheek.

I took the notebook from him and opened to a random page, quickly writing down whatever I wanted, not caring how messy the writing was. '_Why the fuck do you think is wrong?! And who the FUCK is Charlotte?!' _When he read it, he laughed. I scowled even harder because of it.

"Baby, Charlotte is my car. I got her yesterday."

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I sat by my computer, again IM-ing Axel. We were simply talking about nothing, sometimes not saying anything at all. We had our cams hooked up and on, being able to see each other. I was still fully dressed, in the clothes I wore to school. Axel was in his boxers, having undressed in front of me, saying it was hot or something along the lines of that. _'Hot is right.' _I had typed, not being able to stop the panting that fell from my lips as he undressed, revealing his toned, orgasmic chest and sexy boxers with sexy flames.

**Got-It-Memorized: **hey, babe. my parnts r home. i gtg.

**SilentxxScreamer: **Okay, no problem. Will you IM or text me when you can?

I saw him nod in the little screen at the bottom of my monitor. I smiled back at him and blew him a kiss. He did the same before looking at his door worriedly and typing a quick, 'I love you, ttyl.' I didn't even have time to reply as he shut off the cam and logged out of chat. I silently said, 'I love you, too' and did the same as he did previously, just more slowly and less sure.

I walked downstairs, passing my brother's empty room on the way. I looked into it quickly, noticing the large mess that he had made with clothes. They were strewn across his whole room, with his closet door open and nothing hanging in there. I raised my eyebrows in confusion and continued my way down the stairs. When I got downstairs I heard my mother shrieking in that high voice that could make anyone cringe in distastefulness. Curiosity getting the best of me, I let my feet carry me to the kitchen, to where I heard the shriek, instead of the living room to watch TV.

I walked into the kitchen, I saw my mother jumping happily with a reluctant Roxas. I walked over to them and got in their view, waving my arms dramatically to get their attention. They stopped jumping and looked at me, Roxas holding down my arms. I raised my eyebrows in question to Roxas' outfit. He was wearing a really tight band tee, of a band that I didn't really like, his pants were a little on the girly-side and had cuts along the thighs, his shoes were black Converses (not that I could tell the difference) and his hair was in its usual sweep to the side.

I turned to grab one of the many notebooks that littered the house and wrote on it, '_Are you a transvestite???' _Roxas laughed and shook his head. "No, I have a date…with someone." I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips together. _'Who? What's her name?' _"Uh, heh heh. Well, about that…" He laughed again, but this time it was fake, while he rubbed the back of his neck. Ohmygee!'_It's a boy?!' _"Yeah, you don't care do you?" _'What am I, a hypocrite?' _"Well, I didn't know. And you don't know him…" He said in answer to the question I wrote down earlier. "His name is Hayner." _'Wait, isn't he the hot senior that everyone talks about?'_

The doorbell rang, and everyone paused in their step and sentence. I looked at my mom and she nodded, understanding what I was wanting to do. She held his arms and let me run to the door to open it. I opened it and stared in awe at the guy who was going to date my brother. "Hey, is Roxas ready?" I nodded and let him step into our house, giving him my best mean look while I looked over him, "Uhm…your, Sora right? Roxas' brother?" I nodded, if he knew my name, then he _must_ know that I'm a mute, all of Roxas' friends know. "Hey, I'm Hayner." I waved reluctantly as he turned out to be really nice. I guess I can't complain.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I got a new friend. Hayner promised to hang out with us at lunch, and hangout with us out of school too, right before they left for their date. I jumped excitedly and hugged him, he whispered in my ear, "Friends?" I nodded and let go when I heard Roxas clear his throat behind us. I turned and blushed, walking to his side.

When they left, I made sure Roxas saw the word that passed my inaudible lips. _'Details.' _He nodded once, then left to Hayner car, which was really nice. It was black. I liked it.

I shut the door and smiled at my mom, giving her the thumbs up in how I liked Roxas' boyfriend. She smiled and headed back to the kitchen, to what I'm assuming, to continue dinner for us. I sighed heavily before trudging up the stairs. I thought back on Axel's and my conversation, the end mainly. He seemed really scared, but he would call if there was something wrong, right? I shook my head and heard my phone going off, playing Axel's song. That either meant, he was calling or I got a text. I skipped the last two stairs, almost falling, and into my room, grabbing my phone.

The screen blinked as a voicemail came in. The third one, and a text was sent, the sixth one. I read all the texts, all saying _'I need u.' _I tilted my head in confusion, usually if Axel was horny, he'd tell me once and wait for me to reply, also there would be a smiley face winking at me. I got onto the computer to see if he was on, and indeed he was. I sent him a message, hoping he wouldn't be mad. I mean, I didn't _mean _to leave my phone upstairs.

**SilentxxScreamer: **Hey, baby. What's wrong???

**Got-It-Memorized: **my stupid fucking parnts are fightin.

**SilentxxScreamer: **do you want to come over here for the night?

It was a while before he replied, but in the meantime I distracted myself with straightening up my desk. The papers ended up in a neat little pile, my CD's were back in there cases and in alphabetical order, and my homework was put into my bag that lay against the desk.

**Got-It-Memorized: **i cant. srry.

**SilentxxScreamer: **Ax, what's up? Is there something wrong?

**Got-It-Memorized: **nthin. im fine.

**SilentxxScreamer: **Fine, but…okay. Text me, I have to shut down, my computer's getting slow.

**Got-It-Memorized: **cant, my fone died

**SilentxxScreamer: **okay. Is there anything I can do.

**Got-It-Memorized: **yeah, theres 1 thng

**SilentxxScreamer: **We're not having cybersex this late, I have school.

**Got-It-Memorized: **lol, thats not wat i was gonna say. i was gonna say, maybe u can come over hre 2nite.

My hands hovered over the keyboard in hesitation. What was I supposed to say to that? He wanted me to come over…to his house? But, he's never wanted that. Maybe he trusts me now, not that he didn't before, maybe he trusts me more now. Not that that was possible.

**SilentxxScreamer: **I have to ask my mom. brb

I turned my chair to the side, and hopped out of it. I ran out of my room and down the stairs for the second time that night. I went into the kitchen to see my mom about to put the food on the table. "Hey, Sora, you're just in time. Dinner's ready." I sighed and then realized I promised my mom I would eat with her. She noticed my sigh and stopped setting the table. "Is there something up? Is it Axel?" She asked panicky, feeling for him as though he were one of her sons. I nodded slowly, looking around for my notebook, so I could ask her the question that Axel wanted me to ask. When I turned back to her she was holding out a red pen and the black notebook, my only means for communication. '_He wants me to spend the night…tonight.'_

"Are you guys going to have sex?" I widened my eyes in shock. '_How could you insinuate something like that?' _"I was just kidding. Now, go ahead. But, take all your stuff for tomorrow, and some food for both of you." Damn, my mom was so understanding. I smiled and huge hug before trailing back up the stairs, skipping two at a time. I went to my computer, hoping that Axel waited for me.

**SilentxxScreamer: **She said yes!

**Got-It-Memorized: **cool. ill b over in 10

**SilentxxScreamer: **kk. See you when you gethere. I love you.

**Got-It-Memorized: **i love u too. see ya.

He logged off after that, leaving me to pack. I took another bag from my closet, and started to shove clothes in it, making sure to pack the essentials that I would need to get ready for school with. I had my back with clothes and other things in it, and my backpack, all ready and set myself by the door waiting for Axel. I already had a couple plates wrapped in that clear wrap stuff, and I already said by to mom, who was in the living room watching some soap that she had recorded earlier. There was a honk outside, mom must have heard it, "Bye, baby, and tell Ax to come in next time." I banged on the wall to signal that I had heard her and then left the house, locking the door as I did.

I saw Axel sitting in Charlotte, looking straight ahead at nothing. I approached the car and heard him unlock the doors, opening the passenger side; I climbed in, tossing my bag to the back. Just as I did, I heard a slight shriek from back there. I jumped and turned around to see a little girl with red hair that wasn't nearly as bright as Axel's but looked just as soft. Then I looked over to Axel for an explanation. He didn't give me one; instead he started the car back up. I sighed, trying to get Axel to hear over the loud music.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

We had to climb through his window, for his parents didn't know he left. I still didn't know why he had brought the girl, who I'm assuming is his little sister, with him. His parents couldn't have been fighting _that badly, _right? When we successfully climbed through the widow, I heard the yelling from downstairs, and the occasional bang from something being thrown around. I sat my stuff by his bed, and waited patiently as Axel helped his sister through the window.

"Now, Kairi, 'member what I told you about Sora?" She nodded and then padded over to me in bunny slippers. I couldn't help but smile down at her, crouching down so I was looking her in the eye.

"Hi, Sor-Sor, I'm Kairi!" She said happily, but with a hint of sadness in her voice as she heard her parents yelling increase in sound. I smiled down at her, waving in 'hello' to the small girl. "You can't talk, you a moot. It's okay though, Axel told me not to tell anyone, so your secret's safe with me." She whispered, putting a finger over her mouth, in a way that meant she wouldn't tell anyone.

"Okay, now Kairi, let's get you to bed." Axel said, scooping the small girl up in his arms, taking her out the door, being careful to open the door as quietly as possible. I followed just as silently, watching him tuck Kairi into bed and kiss her goodnight. He turned on a nightlight then shut the door when he exited the room. Axel grabbed my hand and hurriedly dragged me back to his room. On our way in he shut the door, locked it, and shut off the light. I let him lead me to his bed, not knowing where anything was. "Sora…" I heard him whisper before pushing me down on the bed. His hands started to remove my clothes while his lips claimed mine as his own. I didn't have time to protest as his hands roamed my body, kinda roughly.

I pushed on Axel's still clothes chest and made us sit up. "Sora…please, I need this. I need something." Tears started to pour from his eyes. I started to freak then, why in hell was he crying, my boyfriend never cried, _Axel _never ever cried, why this time. I didn't have time to question as my lips were against his in a matter of moments. His body pressed against mine, his taking over my weak frame. "Please…help me…" I nodded deafly, feeling that feeling I get when I don't want something to happen, but it does anyway.

For some reason, I didn't want to do it with Axel. I mean, I knew he needed it, but I just couldn't give it to him. It didn't feel right, but on the other hand, I couldn't deny him. Like I said, he needed me, and when does he ever ask for anything from me. He doesn't, he's always so selfless when it comes to me. And now, this time, I have to be selfless. I have to give him what he wants. No matter how much I don't…

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I was inside of him, stretching his tightness once again. The warmth that it gave off was enough to make me forget all my doubts and sadness and let me pound into my lover. This wasn't sex or making love, this was fucking. There was no feeling put into this. It wasn't even a one-sided thing. Neither of us said a word as we both came, keeping quiet. I pulled out of him as soon as I could, laying next to him, my back to him. I couldn't look at him, not after that. Our first time was full of love and now our second, was something completely different. Nothing was said between us, no words of love, and no murmurs of comfort were passed between us.

I felt his arm wrap around me as I started to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't…I…Please, Angel, don't cry." I couldn't help it, with his apologies added to the equation, I couldn't help but cry more. "I'm sorry. I'll take you home." I turned and shook my head. I didn't want to go home, I just…I don't know what I wanted, but I know I didn't want to go home. "You want to stay?" I nodded and curled myself into him, feeling the heat from his body travel to mine. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do any of that. I just…" I pressed my finger to his lips to shush him. He quieted, smiled weakly at me. "One more thing, though." He mumbled against my lips. I nodded, giving him permission to speak as my finger left his lips. "I still love you, do you love me?" I nodded fervently.


	4. Don't Worry, Got it Memorized?

**_Title: Don't worry, Got it Memorized?_****_  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin) **  
Disclaimer: **Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora**  
Rating: **M**  
Warnings: **AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **I didn't think this would become an actual story. But it's all thanks to **Starry-Nights88 **for giving me ideas and helping and beta-ing and all. She's a god! And, hey people I'm looking to be a beta, I'm bored and I need something else to do besides writing and reading. So anyone want one? **_Warning in this chapter, I won't say what, but just that there's a warning._**

**xxx**

"Axel, get your fucking ass up for school!" I heard someone yell on the opposite side of the door. I nudged Axel to get him up and looked at the alarm clock that sat on the in table next to his bed. He didn't move, he didn't even grunt like he usually does when I try to wake him. I turned around to get a good look at him. When I did finally look at him I couldn't help but feel even worse about last night. Axel's face was red and his cheeks were tear-stained. I cant't believe that last night actually happened; that we actually fucked…I mentally cursed Axel's parents to hell. If it wasn't for them then we wouldn't of had sex like that, we would've made love like every other couple who was in love…damn them!

"Axel! I said – what the fuck?!" Then his dad walked in, his hair just as spiky and red as Axel's but looking like it was spiked my gel, when Axel's was all natural. "You fucker!" I gaped at the man who had barged in; his yelling caused Axel to wake up, holding me behind his body, in an attempt to hide me.

"Dad!" Axel didn't move from his spot as his dad stomped over to us, and ended up slapping my boyfriend across the face. I gasped and held onto his arm, afraid for him. "Please…let me explain…"

"No, you fag! Wait till your mother hears about this!" I take it that Axel was scared, because I saw him flinch at the tone of his father's voice. "You stupid queer!" I flinched when he was hit again, slightly backing away, afraid that I'd be the next target. After a third hit, his father left the room, mumbling something about, 'wait till your mother hears about this' and 'you and your stupid fag.'

When I looked over to Axel, his eyes were very close to crying. I just couldn't look at him; it was too heartbreaking to see. I turned my head for only a moment, knowing that he would need me any second. And he did… Axel's parents eventually gave him a choice. Either he broke it off with me, and never sees me again, or he moves out. Guess which on he chose? Me. I smiled inwardly when he told them, but then flinched when he was slapped again. We were in the middle of getting dressed; sharing brief kisses between each other while he packed up a couple bags. I saw the door handle move slightly, before opening to reveal Kairi, the little girl who looked like her brother. "Axey!" Axel stopped packing and lifted his sister in his arms when she ran to him, arms open. "Mommy said you have to leave! Is that true?" He nodded solemnly; I could see the hurt in his eyes as he told his little sister this. "Take me with you?" He shook his head this time, causing her to cry even more.

Her sobbing brought on the attention of her parents, causing them to come in and physically rip her from Axel's arms. No matter how much Axel and Kairi yelled, their parents wouldn't let them be near each other. I guess I could kinda feel for him. I bet I'd feel that way if that happened between Roxas and me. I stood up and walked over to Axel, and even though his parents were still in the room, I pressed my lips to his, just trying to get him to calm down. I heard his parents yell even more and someone pull me away from my lover. When I was shoved on the floor, it took me a few seconds to comprehend what was going on.

I saw lights before my eyes and a small light in front of my eyes. When my eyesight went back to normal, I saw Axel's dad take a swing at him, causing me to flinch. But what surprised me the most was Axel took it. He didn't move, he didn't say anything, he just stood there. And just when his dad thought he had won, Axel shoved him up against the wall, held his shirt collar, and lifted his fist as though he was going to punch him. But he didn't. "Don't ever fucking touch him again!" Axel growled through his. When he let go of his dad's shirt, he then came over to me with soft eyes and a gentle smile on his face, and kissing my cheek, he helped me stand. I fell into his arms, and when his parents left, his hands went down to caress my butt. I lurched forward, not expecting the touch. He laughed at me causing me to pout in turn.

"Come on, we need to get you to school." I nodded and let Axel finish packing. When he was done, he looked over his room, looking at everything that meant something to him. He packed only a couple bags, leaving the large, unnecessary things. I pulled on his hand slightly, trying to coax him into coming with me. When he looked over to me with unshed tears, I couldn't help but pull him into a hug. His head rest on my shoulder, his face turned into my neck. I felt his tears fall onto my neck, making it itch at the wetness of the contact. I held him in my arms, knowing that this was one of few moments that this would happen, and I wanted to take full well advantage of it. I ran my hand up and down his back in a comforting manner. Axel sighed against my neck, kissing it once before pulling away. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to cry all over you."

I shook my head, desperately trying to get it through to him that I didn't mind and he could cry all over me anytime he wanted. "What is it baby?" I sighed and huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. I shook my head again, this time slowly. "Okay," He sniffed. "Let's get going." I nodded and took his hand firmly in mine, causing him to smile down at me.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

Axel dropped me off at school, leaving me with a goodbye kiss and a warning that he wouldn't visit me during lunch today. I nodded, already knowing that he wasn't going to school at all. When he left, I sighed sorrowfully. I couldn't help it, Axel just seemed so…depressed. It wasn't that I didn't know why, I knew perfectly why, it just…I couldn't stand to see him like this. I was forced to think about other things when arms were wrapped around my waist and then my eyes were covered by a pair of hands. I didn't even have time to make a move as I was pulled into the school and what I'm expecting is the same bathroom that I was in a couple days ago. I heard the faint click of the door, and then the sounds of some laughter. I felt my back hit a wall and my eyes were then uncovered.

I was in the bathroom, alone, with a bunch of guys, seniors that picked on me constantly. I didn't really know any of them, not even by name; I just knew some of them hung out with…Hayner, my brother's date from last night and my so-called friend. "Well, lookie here? What've you got today?" the guy that was bothering me last time, said. "Aren't you gonna say something?" I didn't answer, not because I couldn't, but because I didn't want to. "Well that's a shame." He raised his hand, and then brought it down across my cheek. I flinched and then started struggling, but found that impossible with this guy's body flush against mine. "Now, are you gonna say something or not!?" I shook my head again, and crouched forward as much as I could when he lifted his knee into my stomach.

He backed up and another guy came forward. He was bigger and, from what I heard, was the most vicious. His fist grabbed my hair, tugging on it to the point I reached up to try and pry it from my head. He laughed at my attempt and just pulled tighter. I flinched again and tried to scream when he threw me against the tiled wall. I couldn't move, all the air was knocked out of me. Two guys came up to me, each holding one of my arms up. They dragged me to the main leader guy and let him punch me. He hit me once in the stomach, once in the chest, and then in the face. The last punch caused my nose to bleed; I knew it because I could feel the blood trail down my face. He laid his hands on my shoulders, smiled viciously, and then kneed me in a very sensitive place. I couldn't help but double over. He kept his knee up in the air, causing my face to hit it. I heard a small crack on my nose, and tears started to shed from my eyes. _God…what will they do next? _I mentally prepared myself for another hit. But it never came. I opened my eyes and carefully looked up.

When I looked up, I saw the leader guy pressed up against the sink, bracing himself with his hands as someone was towering over him. I knew automatically who it was by the large red spikes that adorned the person's head. His fist was raised and his breath was uneven as though he was seriously pissed off.

I ran to my savior's side and tugged on the arm that was raised, trying to keep him from getting in a fight, I knew that Axel could take care of himself, especially in a fight, but I didn't know if he could keep from getting hurt. He looked over to me with an evil glint in his eye, causing me to back up slightly in fear. When he saw it was me, his eyes took on a more gentle tone like they had earlier and his let go of the senior. He took my hand, kissed my bloody nose tenderly and led me out of the bathroom.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I leaned against his firm frame, wrapping my arms around his torso. "Lucky you left your book in Charlotte, right? Are you gonna be okay now?" I nodded and gripped Axel tighter, willing him to stay. "Okay, well don't leave your brother's side. You got that?" I nodded again, holding him even tighter. "I'll pick you up from school, and I'll take you somewhere nice." I shook my head that time. "Why not?" I took out my phone and started typing like mad. _'You dont have to do something like that. I just want to spend time with u. _"Okay, I'll pick you up, and then we'll head over to your house." I nodded once more and Axel turned to walk away. I pulled on his arm to turn him back around, and pressed my lips to his, engaging him in a passionate kiss. He kissed back gently, careful not to touch my sensitive nose, which fortunately wasn't broken.

Just as Axel walked back to his sexy red sports car, my twin came up with his boyfriend following behind, holding his hand. "Who was it Sora?! I'll kill them!" Roxas all but shouted. Hayner, fortunately, calmed him down. They then started a quiet heated discussion, voices staying at a whisper. Since they were at a little distance, I didn't catch anything, but at the end of the conversation they hugged and gave each other a light peck on the cheek.

"Now, Sora, who was it?" Hayner asked me in a soft, inquiring voice. I shrugged and mouthed '_seniors_'. Hayner nodded then walked away. He walked past Roxas, held his hand at arms length until neither could reach any further. I shook my head at their cheesiness and prayed to god that Axel and I didn't look like that.

"And if you're wondering, you and Axel look worse." I pouted at Roxas' comment. "But, are you okay? Where does it hurt?" He asked. I pointed to my nose, which was a dead give-away. I pointed to my stomach and then my head. "Okay, come on, we need to get you cleaned up." Nodding, I followed Roxas to the now empty bathroom, avoiding all teachers. He grabbed a few paper towels, got them wet, and dabbed it along my face, wiping off the quick drying blood. I flinched a couple times, not being able to help the grimaces of pain. He always apologized after the fact though.

Hayner walked in a few minutes later, cracking his knuckles. He had this hard, stern expression on his face, looking as if he was seriously pissed, but accomplished. "I took care of it for you, Sor." I smiled at the fact he called me by a nickname and nodded my head in a type of thanks. "Now, the bell's about to ring, I'll walk you both to class." Roxas threw the last of the bloody paper towels in the trash before taking his hand in mine, and the other in Hayner's.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I waited outside the school, by the pick up spot. Axel said he'd be here, right here. I adjusted my backpack slightly; the shoulder strap was digging into my shoulder. I shifted my feet, flipping open my phone, checking for any messages, then closed it when there was nothing. I looked down the street, both ways appearing empty of any red sports cars. I sighed and blinked back unshed tears. I couldn't believe this, Axel stood me up. He's never stood me up before. So there had to be something wrong, right?

I opened my phone and opened a text, sending it to my brother. _Hey, roxy…can you come pick me up??? _It was only moments before he had replied back. _Yeah, wher r u? _I felt a tear cascade down my face, _at skool…_ He replied saying he'd be right there with Hayner. That's great! I not only had to deal with Roxas, but now his overly-nice boyfriend – not that I'm complaining.

Hayner's black Ferrari sped down the street. When it pulled to a stop in front of me, my brother was already stepping out, gathering me in his arms. I collapsed exactly when his arms wrapped around me. Hayner slowly stepped out of car – from what I could tell – and walked over to rub soothing circles on my back. I really appreciated the help they both were supplying me with, but I just wanted to go home, maybe Axel would be there. And then just the thought that he had lied to me sunk in, caused me to cry even harder. "Hey, hey, hey, Sor-Sor, what happened? Did Axel stand you up?" He asked without moving me from his arms. I nodded, and caused his embrace to tighten. "Come on, let's get you home. Hayner?"

Next thing I know, Roxas and Hayner are getting in the car, leaving me outside. "Come on, this is only a two-seater so you have to sit on your brother's lap." Hayner said, leaning over so he could talk to me. I nodded and climbed in, trying to find a spot comfortable enough to sit,

"Shit! That. Was. Not. Pleasant." Roxas groaned out in pain. I bit my lip and mouthed sorry, which he just waved off. "It's okay, just sit between my legs and don't, I repeat, _don't move._" I nodded and sat as he told me to. I leaned my head against Roxas' shoulder and closed my eyes, wanting to sleep all of a sudden. "Hey, Hayner?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry about our date. It's just I couldn't leave him." My brother whispered, seeing as my ear was right by his face.

"Don't worry about it. I like your brother, so I don't mind helping him when he needs it."

"Thank you. And remind me to kiss you when we get to my house." I could hear the smirk in my brother's voice.

"That's all I get?!" Hayner mocked yelled. "After everything I did for you and Sora!" I heard his hand hit his chest. "I'm appalled."

"Oh shut up and drive." Roxas laughed. I'm happy for him, he's actually happy, with another guy. I mean, I kind of always knew it would be a guy, he never dated anyone, but maybe that was because he was with me twenty-four seven. But anyways, I like Hayner, and I approve of him, plus, he's nice.

I felt the car stop and shut off, signaling that we were home. "Wait." I heard Hayner say before a seatbelt unbuckle and a shift in weight. Then I heard something I never thought I would hear so close to me. They were kissing, slobber going every, teeth clashing together, it was gross. I opened my eyes and sat back, reaching to open the door. And as I did, they didn't even notice it. I huffed and walked to the door, opening it with my keys. I shut the door behind me and set my stuff down by the door.

"Hey, Roxas! Is that you?" I heard mom call from the kitchen, her usual spot at this time. I walked to her and when she turned she asked, "Where's your brother?" I made a kissing motion with my hands, causing her to laugh. "Hey, Axel called, he said he's sorry he wasn't there to pick you up, but something came up." I nodded slowly, trying to comprehend what she told me. If Axel was busy, then why didn't he just tell me? I wasn't really able to think on it much as Roxas came in.

"Sor!" I walked to where he was and smiled knowingly, but with a hint of disgust. "Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry about that, but it wasn't my fault," I raised my eyebrows expectantly. "Okay, it was partly my fault…" I smiled and shrugged, meaning that I didn't particularly care that they kissed, but as long as they didn't do it when I was _right there. _"We won't do that again, kay?" I nodded and smiled big, looking behind him for Hayner. "He said he had to call someone." I nodded suspiciously before turning and heading up my room, ready to text Axel.

When I got up to my room, I took out my cell and started a text message. I didn't say anything in particular, only that I was mad at him, and that he better text back soon or I would be very pissed. Guess what he said…nothing, he didn't reply for hours, not even when I went to bed.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

One week. I stopped emailing him.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

Two weeks. I stopped texting.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

A month. I stopped crying.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

And now I was on the brink of two months. I had had enough. I was done with him, he left me, he _fucking _left me, without an explanation! And now I guess it's time for me to move on. I don't really want to though. I thought Axel was the one for me, no matter how girly that sounds, I thought he was. We were together for only two and some months, but it seemed like years.

My brother and Hayner were on their one month anniversary, and then they were going to head over to Hayner's place to _'hang out'_. It was so obvious that they were going to do it. And again, when they left I told Roxas I wanted details. _Lots of them. _

Since they left, I've been in my room, putting together this 650 piece puzzle for the third time. See how bored I was? I was half way done already when I got a text. I didn't get excited like I did the first week, especially since I _knew _it wouldn't be who I hoped it would. Like I said, it wasn't him; it was another guy, one that I mean the first week. His name's Riku. He's really nice, straightforward, but nice. He has this silver-ish hair, and this beautiful blue eyes, they're not as blue as mine, but not any less bright.

_Hey, are u busy? _I looked at my puzzle for only a moment, before replying to his message, _not really. Y? _I went back to my puzzle for only a minute before he text back. _Cuz im outside and im bored. _I jumped up when I heard a honk then went to my window to see that he was outside in his silver Porsche. God! People had nice cars these days. I text him quickly before running to my closet in something to change. I picked out a tight band tee; some faded tight jeans and just some of my favorite shoes. No, I wasn't dressing up; I was just…changing out of my school clothes. Yeah, that's right. I ran downstairs, not bothering saying good-bye to my napping mother, just deciding to text her later.

I ran outside and opened Riku's car door. I hopped in and just as I closed the door, he took off. I'm not sure where he was headed, but I really didn't care, I just kind of wanted to hang out with someone, anyone, to distract me. My mind was still on Axel, thinking of him, remembering him, wanting him…so hanging with Riku was enough. "Have you gotten anything from Axel?" Yes, he knew about Axel, I told him everything, and he completely agrees with me, I should get over him, I don't know why he agrees with me, but I'm glad someone does. In answer to his question, I shook my head. "That's too bad. But, I guess you'll have to deal with me." He laughed. I smiled a little.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

Riku took me to a secluded area. I'm not sure how to explain it, and I definitely didn't know where we were. We stepped outside the car and walked around to the front hood, sitting on the top. Riku was like _this close _to me. I wasn't really complaining though, it was cold outside, and it was nice having a warm body close enough to feel. It wasn't as nice as having Axel next to me, but it was good enough. I felt his hand touch mine and pull it into his.

"Sora, you know I like you, right?" I nodded slowly, not knowing where he was going with this. "And you like me, right?" I thought about it. I guess I didn't _kind of _like him. It wasn't like I was in love with him, like Axel, but I guess I could admit that I had some feelings for Riku. I nodded once more. "Good." I looked over him to question his words, but instead he kissed me. I tried to push him off, but my attempt was futile – yes, futile – as I fell into the kiss, actually enjoying it. The only reason that I was enjoying it was because – or I told myself – was because it was a rare feeling, a rare completeness.

Riku pulled away from the kiss and smirked at me before pushing me back on the small hood, lying somewhat on top of me. His lips went back to mine, and his hands started to work on my pants. And I know I went fast with Axel, but this is different, I was not going to be easy. I started to wiggle, trying to get away from his prying hands. Instead one came up and held mine in a vise grip. That caused me to struggle even more. I wanted to get away, I didn't want this, but I guess that didn't matter to him, for he opened up my pants and snaked his hand down them, and inside my boxers. His mouth traveled to my neck, biting furiously as I felt his hand touch me in unwanted places. I wanted to scream so badly, I wish I could, I wished I could scream for Axel, my savior to help me. But, of course I couldn't, and like usual that caused me to cry. Riku removed my pants easily, along with my boxers, once those were gone, I stopped struggling. There was no reason to, it was all over, and he had what he wanted.

Riku didn't bother with my shirt as he pulled down his pants far enough to where his thing stuck out. He wasn't even hard, but he soon fixed that by jerking himself off. I cringed in disgust as I laid there, not even attempting to get away since he let me go. When he was 'hard enough' he climbed back on me, spreading my legs to lay in between them. I started shaking in fear as I felt him near my entrance. I wasn't even stretched, he could tear me! But, I guess he didn't care as he slowly started to press into me. I could feel myself stretch and clench around him. I shut my eyes in pain, tightening my hands in fists, wanting to grasp something, anything. He pressed in further muttering something about 'tight' and 'virgin' and I just wanted to scream. I didn't want him to take my virginity, I wanted Axel to!

That gave me a new reason to fight. I started to hit his chest, move around as much as possible, but with every hit I did to him, he would dig his nails, that were on my hips, further into my skin, and I'm pretty sure he already broke the skin. I stopped struggling after a while and sat there as he slowly pulled out then back into me, once, twice and three times. I started to prey that something would save me.

_'__I'm everything you know  
You wonder friend of foe  
I'm the burning in your throat when you swallow  
But you spit me out  
Your stomach full of doubt  
And still you're faking every word out of your mouth  
But you won't let go  
It's all about control  
Understand I'm born to lead you will follow  
I don't wanna stay  
I'm running away  
Don't you hear me when i say' _

His phone started to ring. He looked over to his pants, then back to me, crying and breathing erratically. "You're lucky." And with that he quickly pulled out of me and answered his cell on the last ring. "Hello?...Hi, Roxas…Yeah I have your brother…Him and I are…oh…well then I'll get him home right away…okay…bye." And he hung up the phone. He walked back over to me and climbed on top of me again. And this time, instead of going slowly, he thrust back into me, causing _something _to tear. I could feel blood trailing down my legs, grossing me out completely. "Well, guess what?" He asked, thrusting harder and harder with each word he said. "Guess who's home?" He punctuated each word with a hard thrust. I thought about the question…'_Axel?' _"Yep, lucky I got to you tonight, huh? Isn't that right, _Angel._" I shivered in disgust as he mocked Axel's voice perfectly.

A couple minutes later and his thrusts continued to drive into me. His phone started to ring again. He didn't answer this time, he must have been close. His moans were getting louder, his breathing was labored, and his eyes were tightly shut, much like mine, but in pleasure. He pulled out once he came. Not giving himself time to really enjoy it, much to _my _pleasure. He picked me up gently, laid me on the floor, propped up against a tree, threw my clothes at me, and then started to wipe off his car that was stained with blood after he put himself away. Once he was satisfied, he called someone.

"Tell sweet Axel to get his _Angel. _He's at the usual spot. I know he knows where that is." And he shut the phone. He walked over to me, bent down and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to my lips. I cried when he did, not believing that it had actually happened. I had been raped. By Riku. By someone I had trusted, and actually _liked. _It made me sick…


	5. I'm Back, Got it Memorized?

**_Title: I'm back, Got it Memorized?_****_  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin) _**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?_**_  
Pairings: _**_Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: _BLAH! Comments PLEASE!  
_**

**xxx**

I sat curled up into a ball, crying non stop. I couldn't help it. I just…I don't know. It was just too much to handle. With everything that's happened; Axel leaving, Riku coming into my life and then him doing this…I just…can't handle it. It's…Oh fuck it! I don't care anymore! I just want Axel…

And maybe God answered my prayers, because headlights appeared and shined on me. I covered my eyes by weakly lifting one of my tired arms. I squinted to see someone get out of the car and run to me. I looked with hope, still praying that it was Axel. Instead the guy had less spiky hair and was too small to be Axel. I sighed and started to cry more. "Sora?!" Roxas bent down reaching his hand out. I didn't mean to, but I flinched at the contact. "Sora…what happened?" Before I could even mouth something, I heard a voice, a voice that I have been dying to hear for two months.

"Sora!? Roxas move!" And my brother did as he was told, revealing my tall boyfriend. I flung myself into his arms, happy to feel him catch me. "Roxy, go get a blanket from the car." He nodded and then left to retrieve the item. "Sora, Angel, you're okay now, don't worry. I got you. I won't leave again. I promise." I nodded into his chest.

"Here," Roxas said, not looking at me. Axel took the blanket from him and then wrapped it around me, making sure to cover me completely. He then picked me up, bridal style, and carried me to his sports car…or Hayner's car. I looked up for an explanation but all Axel did was shake his head solemnly... What happened to her?

I was in Axel's lap this time, Roxas driving very carefully down the road, seeing since he didn't have his license yet. "God, Roxas. Drive any slower will ya? The speed limits sixty through here." Axel said, telling him to hurry up as politely as possible.

"Well, sorry I don't want to get in an accident." Roxas defended, but pressing on the gas a tiny bit, seeing as too much would thrust us forward big time.

"Dude! There's no one out here, you dolt!" Axel said, but smiled when Roxas then hit sixty-three. He looked over to me and whispered in my ear. "Did you miss me?" I nodded. "Are you mad at me?" I nodded furiously. "But, do you still love me?" I nodded again, with a small pathetic smile on my face. "Good, because I still love you." He smiled one of his trademark loving smiles that meant so much to me. I'm glad he found me, I don't know what I would do if he hadn't come back. "Hey, Sor-Sor…" He continued to whisper in my ear, "Can I kiss you?" My eyes widened in surprise. What was I supposed to say? I wanted to kiss him so bad; I've wanted to kiss him for almost two months now, but not when I was like this, not when I was filthy and when my mouth still had Riku's kisses. But, if I said no now, then wouldn't he think that I didn't want it, and then he'd never ask me again…so I said…yes…

Axel smiled and slowly leant towards me, gently pressing his lips against mine. It was a simple kiss, no tongue, just the moving of our lips. It was nice, but it was too nice, especially since what had happened and how I felt. So, I started crying, again. That caused Axel to pull back immediately and apologize up a storm. He wiped away my tears with his thumb, and then brought it to his lips to kiss. I smiled through my tears. He smiled back.

**XxxxXxxxx**

When we got home, Axel took me straight upstairs, not leaving any room for Mom or Hayner to ask questions. _Roxas_ didn't even know what happened. Only Axel, but I'm not sure how he knew, but he did. He locked us inside my bathroom, sitting me on the toilet. He turned on the shower and then started to undress me. I didn't care. Once my shirt was off and the blanket wasn't covering me anymore, his eyes trailed over my body in pity. I looked away and blinked back my tears. "Hey, Angel, it's okay." I shivered when he called me Angel. "Hey, baby, what's wrong?" I shook my head and carefully stood up, leaning on Axel for support. He helped me in the shower. I had to lean on the wall, I'd fall otherwise. "Do you want some help?" I nodded slowly, not really wanting help, but appreciating it either way. "Okay, I'm gonna have to get in with you." I nodded once more. He shut the curtain so the water wouldn't spray out and – what I'm assuming – started to undress.

He stepped into the shower with me, and once he did he pulled me to him. The sudden action caused me to react in an irrational way. I started to hit Axel. And with every hit that I did, he only pulled me tighter against him, not caring that I did. He backed us up into the water after I got over my panic attack. The water was warm, on the verge of hot, just like I liked it. The water washed away everything, my doubts, fears, everything. I didn't really feel after that. And I needed something, I'm not sure what, I'm not sure how, but I just needed to be fulfilled, to be whole again.

So once I was clean enough for my standards, I pressed my lips to his. He kissed back softly, totally contradicting the kiss I was giving. The love and passion he put into the kiss was enough to make me think about what I was actually doing. I didn't want Axel to make me feel better, it wouldn't be right. But, I did need something to help me get through this. "Hey, Sora…" I backed away from the kiss and opened my eyes. "You want sex, don't you?" I nodded, ashamed that he had caught me. "Okay." And he kissed me hard, but still managing to put _some _feeling into it.

Axel pushed me against the wall, his hands gently touching everywhere he could reach. It kind of made me disgusted. I mean, I was just raped, and here I was, wanting sex. But I don't think that it was sex that I wanted, it was feeling, the feeling of love that I wanted. "I love you Sora, and I promise I'll never leave you again." He whispered against my lips in between a kiss.

I turned him around, having his back to the wall. Then I was brave enough to explore his body with my hands, already knowing every dip, every curve, and every dimple. When my hands moved lower, I felt him shiver against me and moan into my mouth. I couldn't help but smile against his lips, wanting to hear him make that sound again. And I succeeded. My hand wrapped around his penis and tugged gently, not wanting to cause too much pain. Of course that was like physically impossible for Axel. "One question. Do you want me to do it this time?" He panted out. I…what did I want? I didn't want him to do me, right? That would hurt too much. So, I was going to do him…so I shook my head. "Okay. You choose how, baby. I'm all yours." He growled. I pressed him harder against the wall and kissed him with as much passion as I could muster. I heard him moan over the continuous pour of the steaming water.

"Sora…" He moaned against my mouth, surprising me. Even though we were doing this only because _I_ wanted to, he still received pleasure out of this. And I was hoping he would receive _much _pleasure.

**XxxxXxxxx**

Axel and I walked downstairs carefully, both of us having a slight limp. Axel was able to walk it off though, making it look kind of normal, well, normal enough for him. I clung to his side, afraid to face anyone right now. I told him at least twice, that I didn't want to go downstairs, it wouldn't be fun. When we got downstairs, Roxas started yelling at Axel, pushing him into another room while Hayner and mom pulled me into another to harass me with questions. I faintly heard Roxas whisper/yell at Axel, asking for answers. "Hey, Sora," Hayner called in a very soft voice. "You were ra…uhm, raped…y'know?" I nodded and looked away, hearing my mother start to cry. "And you just took a shower…didn't you…?" I nodded, not understanding what he was getting at. "Dammit!" He yelled and drove his fist into the top of the table, then called Roxas into the room. Roxas entered the room with Axel looking down. "Roxy, he took a fucking shower!" Roxas turned to glare at Axel and then started yelling at him. For some reason it fell upon deaf ears. I couldn't concentrate; I didn't really hear what was going on. It was than that it actually sunk in.

I was raped…and now we couldn't go to the police… I had taken a shower, wiping away all proof of the encounter. But, Axel said a shower would make me feel better, would make me feel clean and not as filthy. He didn't even think…or he did and this was the outcome of his actions. Maybe he didn't want us to go the police and maybe he didn't want Riku to go to jail…wait, why am I questioning Axel again, he only wants the best for me, no doubt. Right. Right?

"I only did what would make him happy. You should have seen him! I wasn't going to let some fucking cops, or whatever, prod at him like him some fucking animal," Axel yelled at the top of his lugs, making me cringe. "I know what I did, I know what that means, but I highly doubt he wanted to go to the cops anyways. So, Roxas, Hayner, before you start yelling at me like _I _was the one who raped him, get your facts straight, got it memorized?!" I sighed and felt tears prick at my eyes. Although he said that whole thing in anger, he was still able to add his line into it, causing me to smile in true happiness that I haven't felt since he left.

I had to walk over to him and hug him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, relishing in the fact he wrapped his around my waist._ Oh Axel! _I sighed against his chest. "Axel, you don't know what you did. How are we supposed to get Riku arrested, if all was washed down the drain, literally!" Hayner said, he responded in a more relaxed tone than my brother would have, making it easier for Axel to calm down too.

"I'm sorry, I truly am, but I don't think you should be telling me this, Sora didn't want to go either way, and I was sure in hell not going to let you guys force him to. Now, we're leaving, we'll be back later." I looked up with questioning eyes, but with trust mixed in with it. "You trust me, right?" I nodded slowly, barely telling the truth. "Then come with me." We walked towards the front door, or limped, and then were forced to stop by Hayner and Roxas in our way, holding hands as if to strengthen their defense. "What now?" Axel growled.

"You were gone a two fucking months." Hayner growled back, now seriously pissed off. "And now you expect us to let you walk off with Sora, and might never come back!? I'd be damned to _hell _if I let that happen, we already lost Sora once, we had to pick up the pieces once _you_ left, and I refuse to do the same to Roxas if he lost his one and only brother." Hayner's voice was low, and I strained to hear it. His eyes were furious, and I cowered from them. His words were dangerous, and I flinched from the viciousness of them. "So, _you _leave, Sora stays."

It was silent, really silent. It kind of made me like really nervous. I looked up at the same time Axel looked at me; his face was as blank as mine. I take it he didn't know what to do. He then turned to Hayner and said, also in a low, scary, and dangerous voice, "I'm taking him with me, and I'll bring him back, I promise."

This time Roxas spoke up. "That's what you promised last time, am I right? And you never _did _come back. You can take Sora over my dead body." God, everything was so dramatic.

"That can be arranged." I rolled my eyes at what happened next. Axel let go of me, slightly pushing me behind him and stepped towards my brother. Hayner did the same to Roxas, his eyes just as determined as Axel's.

"Stop it!" My mother shouted from the other side of the room. "This isn't about you or Hayner, guys, or even Roxas! It's up to Sora!" She walked over to me and looked into my eyes with tear-stained ones. "Sora, honey, I really don't want you to leave, let alone never come back, but if you want, go ahead and leave with Axel. Just keep in mind, that if you don't keep in touch, I'll hunt down your boyfriend and kill him myself." I nodded and smiled at her, then wrapped my arms around her. I mouthed to her when we separated, _I'll come back. _"Good, 'cause I don't know what I'd do if I lost my baby."

I then turned to Axel, who had calmed down during my mother's speech. _I'll go. _He nodded then took my hand, leading me past Hayner and Roxas, both stunned by my choice. I waved good-bye when we shut the door behind us. I automatically looked around, looking for Charlotte, Axel's sexy sports car. When I didn't see her, he pulled my hand in another direction, taking us down the sidewalk. I pursed my lips together in pain, trying desperately to think of something else. But when the pain was too much, I stopped walking, tugging on Axel's hand. He looked around at me, and questioned what was wrong. I shuffled my feet and bit my lip. He made an 'ohhh' sound then turned around, crouching slightly, and motioned for me to get on his back.

**XxxxXxxxx**

We were in a hotel room on the other side of town. Axel carried me all the way here, on his back, and somehow didn't break a sweat. When he paid for our room, he used a credit card and asked for a king-sized, which in turn earned us a weird look from the guy at the counter. I was on his back again when he carried me to the room, and opening the door with ease, he walked over to set me on the bed, then went to shut the door. I laid on the cheap sheets that smelt of sex, and scratched the crap out of my sensitive skin. I shuffled under them, cold from the cheap heater in the room. "You must be cold, huh?" I nodded and patted the sot next to me from under the blanket. He smiled and started to strip down to his boxers.

I gazed at the sight before me, still as shocked as I was the first time I saw it. But two months had made it so everything was different and more profound. The only thing that was different was that his ribs were protruding through his skin slightly, making me almost nauseous. I held back the nausea and smiled as he climbed into bed with me. He replied with a sexy grin before roughly kissing me with raw passion. I immediately tensed, memories flooding back to me. Axel noticed this and backed away. "Angel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…I mean I forgot…sort of." I cringed at the word Angel, but waved away his apology. The word still haunted me. Why was it that it bothered me so much, was it because _he _called me that? Well either way, I didn't want him to call me that…_ever _again. "What is it? What's wrong?" I shook my head. I may not have wanted him to call me that, but I don't want to hurt his feelings just because of _him. _"If you say so…but, anyways, let's go to sleep, you had a long night."

That was easier said than done. I stared at the stupid ceiling while stupid Axel slept peacefully. It wasn't possible for me to sleep, every time I closed my eyes, I saw it over and over again. And it wasn't fun. I could still feel the dull throb in my lower regions. I could still hear his words and moans echo through my head as he fucked me. And I could still see his cruel smile when he kissed me the last time. It made me shiver and my stomach churn.

I turned on my side carefully, careful not to put myself in any more unnecessary pain. I faced Axel who was also facing me. His eyes were closed and his breathing was even, signaling that he was asleep, obviously. I reached out my hand tentatively and brushed my fingers on the side of his face. He twitched slightly in his sleep, but other than that, he didn't move. My hand cupped his cheek, rubbing my thumb along his chapped lips. I sighed heavily, accidentally blowing air on his face, causing him to turn away from me, my hand sliding off of his face. His back was now turned. I silently started to cry as I got this wave of feeling unwanted wash through me. I couldn't help it. Him turning away from me made me feel like I was nothing, but it wasn't like it was his fault, he just turned to get comfier.

The bed shook with my sobs as I tried to control them. But to no avail, the shaking caused Axel to wake up, eyes lazily opening and his voice drowned with sleep, turning over and facing me. "Hey, Angel. What are you still doing up?" I shrugged and tried to wipe away the tears inconspicuously. "Baby, what's wrong?" I shook my head, looking away from him. "Come here." He gathered me in his arms, kissing my head and whispering in my ear. "Don't cry. It's okay, I got you. I won't leave again." He continued that for a while, well up until he started snoring in my ear, like really loud. I smiled and then tried to scoot down in his arms so I wasn't _right there _with his loud snoring.

The crying finally wore me out, since I fell asleep right after that.

**XxxxXxxxx**

When I woke up, Axel was in the makeshift kitchen, making cereal. I sat up, stretched and yawned. I was in the middle of scratching my head when he turned around. He smiled and carried a bowl of cereal over, handing it to me. "Good morning, Angel." I smiled back as best as I could. I looked at the cereal and smiled wider, it was fruity pebbles! My favorite! "I went out before you woke up, and bought some stuff I thought you might need." I looked over to him and mouthed, _'thanks'_ and kissed him on the cheek before digging into my fruity pebbles.

"So, babe, when do you want to head home?" I shrugged while shoveling the cereal in my mouth. "It's not like I'm rushing you, I just don't want your mom hunting me down if I don't have you home before ten." He said sarcastically. I giggled silently and finished my cereal quickly, not remembering the last time I ate. "Whoa, slow down there. I knew you were hungry, but seriously." He chuckled, another thing that I had missed while he was gone. That one laugh, made butterflies flutter in my stomach and caused me to smile. "Why you smilin'?" I shrugged and sat my now empty bowl on he side table that had a phone, a pad, and a hotel pen. I picked up the last two items and started writing on them.

_'Where'd you go? What'd you do? Why didn't you text me? _"Okay, babe, slow down, you always right about fifty questions at once. So, let's start with the first one. 'Where'd I go?' I went to my brother's house in Midgar." _'You have a brother?' _"Yes, he's older by four years. Before you ask another question, 'What'd I do?' Well, I wanted to stay with Reno, but originally I wanted to get out of town, away from everyone."

I stared up at him with a hurt expression and tried not to cry. "Oh, no, Angel, not you of course, I meant my parents." I nodded and started to wipe away the few tears that fell. "Okay, so 'Why didn't I text you?' Well, I had my phone cut off and…well; I didn't want to get your hopes up if I never came back…OW!" He yelled in reply to the hard punch I gave to his arm.

_'If you never came back?!' _

"Yeah…sorry, Angel." I sighed and shrugged. I guess if he did text me, I would have been anxious to him coming home, and I'd end up having to wait two months either way. "So, anymore questions before we head out?" I put my finger up to my chin, tilted my head, and feigned thinking. I really had tons more questions to ask, but I know Axel meant is there a particular question I would like to ask…yeah. _'What happened to Charlotte?' _

Silence, again. He didn't look like he wanted to answer my question, but I knew that with enough prying I would be able to get it out of him. When he looked away, I took his chin in my hand, and forced him to look over at me. '_What happened?' _I mouthed as best as I could. "I had to sell her…" He choked, causing me to gape. Not at the fact that he was about ready to cry, but at the fact that he had to sell his baby. Charlotte. "I had to, it was too expensive to keep her, and Reno could only help so much…" He trailed off, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

I couldn't help reaching forward to hug him, making sure to hold him tight.

A few minutes later, he backed away, wiping away his tears. "Sorry…" I shook off his apology and then stood and succeeded in completing a full body stretch.

**XxxxXxxxx**

I was once again on Axel's back, this time going back home. I told him that I was able to walk, but he actually refused to let me, so I let him carry me. As we were walking, he was describing the time he was away; right now he was talking about his brother.

"He looks just like me, except his hair – which is as red as mine, by the way – is pulled back into a ponytail and his tattoos on like cooler than mine, they're like red and are on the corner of his eyes. I wanted to get mine just like his, but then it'd be like I was copying him, so I got them under. I don't know what he does, but he gets a lot of money, and he loves me to death, so when I told him what happened, he told me to come live with him. So I _was _going to come and say bye to you, but then I thought it would be harder to leave, and I knew I needed to.

"Then when I got there, I literally broke down. I told Reno about you and he punched me, _in the face_. I had a bloody nose and a huge bruise on my face. But I wasn't mad." He paused and took a breath, readjusting me on his back. "I stayed with him and got a job. I was saving up…to buy something. And when I had enough for a down payment, because Reno volunteered – more like demanded – to pay half. I'm not going to tell you what I bought, but maybe in a couple weeks during Christmas I'll take you down to meet Reno…"

And he just kept on rambling, and talking, and smiling, and laughing as he recounted his times with his brother. "Then he was like, 'oh no you did't!' and then I was like 'oh yes I did!' then we like tackled each other on the floor and ended up breaking his lamp and in-table." I smiled at his enthusiasm and tightened my arms around his neck in a way to signal that I was listening. "Yeah, then when I was on my way home the other night, he was like 'When you get home, I want full details on the make-up sex between you and this Sora guy.'" I smiled wider, but then frowned when I saw my house coming into view. I really didn't want to go home; I had tons of fun spending alone time with Axel.

When we got to the door he let go of me with one hand, balancing me by my butt with one hand. It kind of hurt, but I know he didn't mean it. He reached for the doorbell and unlocked the door.

Roxas answered the door, hair all disheveled, breathing all hard, and clothes half-way off.

"Did we interrupt something?" Axel asked, and I could tell he was smirking.

"No, not at all." He panted out. "Come in." Axel stepped in and after the door was shut, set me down on my feet.

"Hey, Roxy." Hayner walked in, shirt off, and pants all the way undone, falling off his hips. I have to admit, he looks sexy as hell. If I wasn't with Axel… "Where'd you go…Oh hey Sora…" Hayner greeted, completely ignoring Axel.

"Yeah, Sora's home. Isn't that freakin' great?" Roxas asked, slipping on his tee that he had in his hand.

"Uhm…you guys. I can take Sora out for a while. And you could give us a call when you guys are done. I wouldn't mind spending some ti-" Axel was cut off hastily by Hayner and Roxas both saying: "No!"

"I mean," Roxas corrected, in a calmer, but still as tense, voice. "He can stay. Just let us pick up a little…"

"Pick up? What'd you guys do, trash the living room?" At Axel's question, Hayner and Roxas shared a kind of look that just screamed 'Kinky!'


	6. I Hate You, Got it Memorized?

**_Title: I Hate You, Got it Memorized?_****_  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin) _**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?_**_  
Pairings: _**_Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **So yeah..Don't think I have anything to say...just that I'm in the middle of writing two other one-shots, I know I KNOW! I need to stick to the stories I already have. But I just can't, there's too many ideas going around in my head. And one started last night, that ones a Cleon, so I should have it up either tonight or tomorrow. It's gonna be M(?) Rated? So yeah, look out for that, and PLEASE review and I'll, give you SMUT!!!!!!!

**xxx**

_Once my idiotic brother and his equally retarded boyfriend cleaned up the living room some, we all settle in various spots around the room as an uncomfortable silence fell over us._

"Why, Axel?" Roxas asked, teeth gritted together, "Why did you leave Sora, without a word?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you. Sora and I talked, and now it's over with." Axel said calmly, taking my hand in his, squeezing slightly.

"It's not over with. And you _do _have to explain." Hayner growled out, holding Roxas' hand in the same manner on the couch opposite of ours.

"Yes it is." Axel said in a tone that left no room for discussion. But apparently, Roxas and Hayner didn't get the point.

"No, Axel. I'm tired of sitting by and letting you use my brother like he's some…" Roxas trailed off, trying to think of something to compare me with. "Anyways, I've had enough, and I don't think Sora should be with you." I gaped at him and was about to say…do something.

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me that I can't be with him? Just because he's a mute doesn't mean he's a child, and doesn't mean he can't make decisions for himself. So don't you _dare _tell him what he can or cannot do, or date." Axel stood up, pulled me up with him, and started walking upstairs; knowing that anywhere else would be too much of a feat for me.

"Stop!" Hayner all but growled, standing and stepping forward. He grabbed the front of my boyfriend's shirt, pulling him closer. He was asking for trouble, Hayner was. Axel wasn't one to be manhandled, "You need to _leave_ and _never_ come back!" He hissed, his eyes narrowed dangerously and I was waiting for Axel to do something drastic...but it never came.

I looked up at my boyfriend's face, and it was calm and stoic. I frowned as Hayner continued to speak, "You're a fucking jerk off, you know that?" He snapped, "You left..." He started, pausing only to snatch me away from him and pass me off to Roxas, "...and, then come back. Expecting us to just let you waltz back into our lives like Sora did. Well, news flash, _I'm_ not Sora!"

I struggled against my brother's arms as he dragged me to the kitchen, wanting to get back to Axel. To break them apart before something bad happened. I knew Axel's temper and Hayner's wasn't much better. "But, you know what asshole..." My brother's blond haired boyfriend started up _again_, "_I _care about Sora. _Roxas_ cares about Sora. Who was there when he was crying all night, when he wouldn't eat anything, when he refused to go to school? Not you, that's for mother fucking sure. You weren't there when he tried to lock himself away from the world, you weren't there to see those bloody fucking cuts all over his arms."

My eyes widened in shock at that before I looked down, ceasing in my struggle for the time being. Ashamed that he now knew as well. What's worse, no emotions flashed across his face. He just took it.

"You were _gone_!" Hayner practically spat in my lover's face, "That's where in the hell you were. With God only knows who while Sora was literally falling apart. _Someone_ you supposedly love!"

Hayner ended his rant by throwing a fist in Axel face. But, as I thought, Axel ducked, causing Hayner to come _this close _to hitting the wall. Axel then retaliated by shoving Hayner back, hard. "Don't you dare talk to me like that." Axel's voice was low like it was usually when he was mad. "I can leave and come back as much as I want. I _do _love Sora, and that's enough. I care about him, so don't even start with me.

"It doesn't matter who I was with, but that I'm back and with Sora, and _now _I'm taking care of him."

"Oh, you fucking _prick_!" Hayner threw another punch at my so-called boyfriend. This time it hit Axel's cheek, already leaving a large red mark to mar his pale face. Now this time, Axel returned the punch with one of his own, visibly putting all his strength behind it. I started to struggle against my brother, knowing that if we didn't stop this, _someone _would get hurt, whether it be Axel or Hayner, maybe even both.

"_They can both handle themselves._" Roxas whispered urgently in my ear, straining to hold me against him. I defiantly shook my head, desperate not to let Axel be the one mortally wounded – even though I knew that wasn't possible. _"Sora, stop moving. You're hurting me." _His voice was just as urgent as four seconds ago, this time it was laced with pain.

I did as he told me, holding still and sighed in relief as his arms loosened around me, trusting that I wouldn't leave. I continued to watch the fight with interest. I wanted Axel to win, but not at the expense of hurting Hayner. I wanted Hayner to beat the shit out of Axel for being such a jerk, but I didn't want to see him defeated. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation…

Axel and Hayner were on the floor, struggling to dominate over the other, physically putting all into it as they hit and kicked at each other, hoping to do some damage. I just stood there, feeling tears start to go down my cheeks. I couldn't stand to just sit there, watching them fight and yell at each other, I had this urge to do something.

When they got up from the ground when Hayner kicked Axel from on top of him, I stepped out from Roxas' loose grasp and walked back into the living room. Hayner just stood looking at him expectantly and then nodded in my direction, causing Axel to turn. Axel looked at me and his eyes widened. "Sora…"

I shook my head, letting my tears fall freely from my face as I looked blurrily at Axel. I started to make hand motions. And I walked away.

"Wait, Sora, what does that mean?" I continued to walk away, and I barely heard Roxas tell him what it meant. '_I hate you.'_

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I was up in my bed, crying like no tomorrow. Roxas was laying next to me, holding me in his arms while Hayner was hanging out in my brother's room playing his guitar since I refused to let him near me. I know he was just trying to do well, but I really didn't want to know what Axel had said. I thought I was better off knowing that I was the only one he's been with.

"Sor-Sor, sweetie, come on, don't cry, he's not worth it." I shook my head, sitting up, and pushing away from him. I started to motion in sign language, glad that Roxas knew it. _'Don't say that, please. He has to be worth it. He has to be…' _"Sora, you heard him, he was with someone else, did things. He had no right to talk about you like that, he doesn't deserve you if he does." I started to cry harder, causing Roxas to again gather me in his arms.

Roxas laid us down, me still in his arms. I cuddled up to his chest, my head under his chin, laying like I would with Axel. I thought that the thought of it would cause me to cry even more, but instead it gave me comfort, making me feel like it was him that I was laying with, and not Roxas. The only difference was that Roxas' body was cold, just like mine.

I guess I fell asleep again, because I no longer felt the comfort of lying next to someone. It was dark, cold, and lonely. I just wanted to huddle in a corner and hide, but that was physically impossible seeing as there were no corners it was just a room of black, I couldn't tell anything from anything else. I wasn't dreaming, but it felt like I was. My eyes were opening and closing, trying to make out any type of light, but all of that eluded me.

I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and blindly stood up. I looked more closely to where my door should be. Under it light spilled in, helping me to walk to it. I felt for the door handle, finally finding it and turning it. I was slightly blinded by the bright light, but once my eyes finally adjusted, I was able to walk out into the hallway, stumbling, but walking with enough composure to get me down the stairs.

"…away. I don't think Sora should ever see Axel again." I cocked my head to the side in confusion, what was Roxas saying?

"Roxy, honey, we can't tell your brother what he can do. If he wants to continue to see Axel, it's up to him. But if what you interpreted was correct, I don't think he _ever_ wants to see him, or even hear about him again. So calm down, wait for him to wake up, and then we can all talk about it."

I heard my brother sigh loudly, and then slam something against the counter. I heard his footsteps start in my direction, but I didn't even try hiding, if he caught me, so what. When he turned the corner he ran into me, causing me to almost fall, but caught me. "Sora…I thought you were sleeping." I shook my head and walked around him, going to the kitchen to get my cell that I left there before. I looked at the screen and started pressing buttons. I then held down the power button and waited impatiently as it turned back on.

I looked to my mother accusingly when I saw that there were many unanswered texts and voicemails. "Sorry, dear. He wouldn't stop calling, even after we told him not to…"

I glared at her then started up the stairs to my bedroom, completely ignoring the calls and demands that I get back downstairs.

Walking to my room, I had to pass Roxas', and as I did, I heard him talking to Hayner through the door. "…what to do. Hayner, please, can we just go find Riku and kill him, or at least kick his ass…I know, but I don't like seeing Sora all detached, he's trying to act normal, but I know him better than that, I can see it in his eyes. And you were there when he was sleeping, he was dreaming about it." Stupid Hayner. "Please…then come over and help me calm down, wink, wink. Nudge, nudge." I gagged and then walked into my room, slamming my door for some unknown reason.

I walked to my radio and turned on my mix CD. I went to track four and let 'Stay With Me' by Danity Kane play loudly, pressing repeat. I walked back to the door and locked it, checking it twice before going to my bed. I laid back on it and started to think of last night.

How could someone do that to someone, especially someone as vulnerable and gullible as me? I trusted him so much, maybe too much, but I had to. I needed someone after Axel left, and I couldn't run to my brother for everything. Roxas was too busy with Hayner (in more ways than one.)

Riku was so sweet in the beginning, all the way up until the end. I should've known that when he took me that far out that it wasn't good. It could've been good though. Maybe if he wasn't so forceful, I would've willingly given myself to him.

I know that sounds horrible, but it's kind of true, I put all my trust in that he wouldn't hurt me, and if he kept it that way, he would've gotten what he wanted. But I guess, willingly or not, he got his way.

I still felt the burn in my backside and still felt the way he thrust into me. I started to cry and curled up into a ball, digging my nails into my skin, for some release. I needed something to make me feel better, but after that whole fight with Roxas and Hayner when they found out...

But screw them, they won't know.

I reached under the mattress and pulled out a rusty razor blade.

Axel knew about this, but he didn't care. I flipped it over in my palm, debating whether I should really be going through with this. Roxas and Hayner would be disappointed, but it was the only way to make me feel better…right?

I sat crossed legged and pulled up the bottom of my jogging pants. I looked at my exposed clean, uncut ankle. I felt more tears trail down my cheeks as I pressed the blade against my tanned skin.

It cut.

I wanted to scream out loud at the pain, good thing I was a mute, right?

The blood started oozing out, dripping onto my black sheets, leaving little blotchy places in its wake.

I lifted the blade after about an inch and a half of cutting and brought it down a couple centimeters from the first cut.

It cut, again.

My skin was too sensitive for it not to. Tears poured down my cheeks as I lifted up the blade again and started to bring it down a third time. Once for every person who left me.

But, just as I was about to cut a third time, I heard a loud knock on my door. I jumped and then hurried to pull my pant leg down and put the blade under the mattress once again. I walked hurriedly to my stereo and pressed pause. Then to the door and opened it.

Roxas was standing there with a phone held out. I looked confusedly at him, wiping my tears, which were so obviously there, away. He looked at me with a question lingering on his lips, but not falling as I took the phone and shut the door in his face. I breathed heavily to signal whoever it was (I had a feeling it was Axel) that I picked up the phone.

"Sora!? Now, don't hang up, please. I know you are mad," I made a scoff-like breath noise. "Okay, pissed would be a more appropriate word. Now, just hear me out." I sighed again, to let him know that I would listen. "I love y-" Okay, I wouldn't listen.

I threw the phone against the wall, hoping it would shatter into a billion of pieces. It didn't, it shattered into three. The back, the main part and the battery. Dammit.

**x**xxx**X**xxx**x**

I was back at school, feeling better physically – other than the cuts that started showing up on my body. And other than that, I was damaged goods. At school, everyone stared at me, laughed and pointed. I gathered that Riku told everyone what happened. But, what exactly did he tell them?

But, fortunately, Hayner silenced everyone by just a glare. That – even though I was mad at him – I was grateful for. Roxas just pulled me along, trying desperately to get me out of the halls and into class quickly.

Lunch came and for that I was glad for. I was able to run from everyone and hide. I walked to the tree that held so many memories (dreamy sigh. Just kidding) and sat down.

I looked down at my lap to where my hands were twisting into each other. I faintly heard Riku not far from where I sat, walking to the tree about fifteen feet away from mine with a couple of friends.

"So, then he was just begging. _Begging! _To be fucked harder. I was like, 'it would tear you' but he was like 'I like it, Ri-Ri, I like it.'" His friends bust up in laughter, I looked away and felt my eyes start to water. So _that's _what he was telling people…

"So, you're telling me, a _mute, _said that?" One of his friends asked, crossing his arms, expecting an answer.

"Well, he mouthed it. He was mouthing a lot of things while I was fucking him, you know what I mean?" The one that had asked the question nodded then started to laugh with the others. "But, _god, _let me tell you, was he tight!" And the others laughed even more.

I felt more tears cascade down my face as I buried it in my knees that were curled up to my chest.

"Hey, Ri, isn't that the mute over there?"

I froze.

"Oh, Seif, you're right. Let's go see how he's doing, if you know what I mean." The guys laughed a little more before I heard them start to walk over to me. And, me, being stupid, had to sit all the way out here, where no one could hear or see us. "Hey, _Angel, _how are you doing? Up for another round yet?" I shook my head and tried to curl into myself even more.

"I think he's just shy 'cause we're all here." A junior, Raijin, suggested.

"That might've been the reason, if I didn't know better. The other night he was just _so_ willing to drop his pants. _He _had to persuade _me._" I looked up at them and I swear I got a sympathetic look from Seifer. "Oh, Sora, _Angel, _don't cry, I can make you feel better." And he winked, placing his hand on my knee, causing me to flinch away from him. It started to trail downwards towards my crotch.

"Riku." Riku's hand stopped in its movement and he looked to the boy who spoke, which happened to be Seifer. "Why don't we leave him alone? He looks real upset." I furrowed my eyebrows together, wondering why Seifer was caring.

"Eh, you're right. I'll just go find another virgin to fuck." I gaped at him and started to cry even more, sobs racking my body.

Riku and his friends left, all but for Seifer, who bent down to my level and placed his hand on my knee much like Riku did. And I couldn't help but flinch again. "Sorry," He said, removing his hand from my leg. "What Riku said wasn't true, was it?" I looked up to him and shook my head. "I thought so. I didn't think you would do something like that. It just didn't seem like you, but then again I don't know you…at all."

I continued to look at him with confusion written all over my face. Why was he helping me? Like he said, he doesn't know me, and I don't know him. "You're a good friend of Hayner's aren't you?" I nodded. "He's a great guy…" He said all dreamy-like. What the hell? "Sorry, he's my ex. But he's going out with your brother now, huh?" I nodded again, what the _hell? _Is this like twenty questions or something?

"Sora!" Seifer and I both turned our heads to where we saw my brother and his boyfriend holding hands while running towards us. Hayner let go of Roxas' hand and started towards Seifer who started to back up away from me, hands up in a surrendering type position.

"What'd you do to him?" Hayner growled in my defense. "Why's he crying?"

"That wasn't my fault. That was all Riku, I swear!"

"Sora, is that true?" Roxas asked me in the sweet voice that he'd been talking to me with since that night I got back with Axel. I nodded and then stood up, getting help from Roxas who still seemed to think I was a fragile piece of art.

"See…I was just making sure he was okay. So, I think you owe me an apology, Chicken Wuss."

"Fuck no. I'll give you an apology when you give me one for cheating on me!" Hayner retorted.

"Hey! I've said 'I'm Sorry' enough. 'S not my fault if you don't believe me." And with that, he walked off.

Hayner walked over to me and started to pet my cheek before he cupped it. I was surprised when I didn't flinch from the touch, I never did when it was Roxas or him. For some reason I knew that they would never hurt me, it was like something that was engraved into my brain, my heart, and my whole system. His touch gave me a friendly feeling, one that I have been craving for a while.

Sighing, I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes. The comfort that radiated from the touch made me feel loved, even if only platonically.

"I'll walk you two to class, 'kay?" Hayner offered, removing his hand from my face to take Roxas'.

"'Course, babe." Roxas smiled at his boyfriend, and received one in return. They way they looked at each other, made me so jealous. The way they were connected and so close to each other, made me wish that I still had that with Axel…


	7. I Still Love You, Got It Memorized?

**_Title: I Still Love You, Got it Memorized?  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._**  
**

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more?_**  
**

**Author's Note: **So, like yeah. I don't have anything much to say. In this story, it's October, for any reason? No. Just because I felt like it being October. : ]

**xxx**

Another week and no word from Axel…this time I didn't want to hear from him. He hurt me, worse than he did when he left and I didn't even want to think about him. However, it was hard not to. He was just so much to me and such an influence in my life, now that he was gone…

Roxas and Hayner were starting to act normal around me, although they were never lovey dovey around me for some reason. Maybe it was because they thought that it would depress me because I had no one to be all lovey dovey with anymore.

I was sitting by Starbucks, sipping on my strawberries and crème frapichino. Roxas and Hayner were walking around the mall, doing some early Christmas shopping. It was only October. I didn't feel like walking around the mall with them, seeing as how I always complained and my feet got sore.

I was looking around the food court at random people. No one was really interesting to catch my attention for more than a total of three seconds. When I looked to one table, I noticed a guy, with another guy (I know, descriptive right?) sitting together. Both had bright red hair, but styled in different way.

One had his head down while the other ran his hand soothingly over his back. The one with his head down had his hair spiked up in a really tall hairstyle; the other one had his pulled back in a ponytail with goggles near the front of his head. The first one was Axel, and I'm taking the second one was his brother, Reno.

I don't know what they were talking about, but Axel looked really depressed about something. Good. He should be depressed. It's all his fault anyways.

I saw Axel's brother glance over here for a short amount of time before turning and saying something to Axel that caused him to turn in my direction. Our eyes locked and emotions soared while we stared at each other.

However, someone stepped in my line of vision.

"Hey, there _Angel." _I looked up and cringed, sitting back and wrapped my arms around myself. "Miss me yet?" I ignored Riku's words and noticed that he was alone. "Aw, come on, say something. I know you've been dying to get back into bed with me." His hand went to touch my face but not before a pale hand reached out and grabbed it.

"Yo, leave Sora alone." The voice that spoke was a little rough and deeper than my ex-boyfriends, but still held that protective tone.

"And who the fuck are you to tell me what to-?" Riku turned and froze. "Reno…" He breathed fearfully.

"Yeah, it's me, yo! And I'd like to talk to you. Outside, now if you don't mind. So leave Sor alone and come with me." And he walked away, leaving no time for Riku to reply.

"You heard my brother. Now go before…" Axel paused to think of something, but before he could, Riku walked away hurriedly following Reno.

I stood and started to walk away, leaving my frappichino unattended. "Wait! Sora, come back!" I shook my head and then started to walk aimlessly around the mall looking for my brother and his boyfriend.

But, unfortunately, God hated me, and let Axel follow me around, apologizing to me nonstop. "Sora, please, just give me five minutes to explain myself." I shook my head and continued to walk through the mall, searching all the stores for my brother and Hayner. I went over the whole mall in record time, looking in each store on the top and bottom floor, but they were nowhere.

It was near Dillard's when I got Axel to shut up by slapping him across the face for accidentally insulting Roxas. "I didn't mean it like that…" He muttered and shut up, but didn't stop following me.

I eventually found them in Hot Topic, looking at some CDs.

I walked up to them and tugged on Roxas' shirt to get his attention. He turned to me and smiled, "Hey, we were about to come and get y-" He paused when his eyes drifted over my shoulder and met Axel's. "Why in the fucking hell is _he _here?" Roxas questioned me.

I made a few hand motions to speak to my brother before pausing and glaring over my shoulder's at the redhead, and then continued. _He found me in the food court and then started to follow me around, apologizing like a lunatic._

"Axel." Hayner said, looking away from me. "I told you, if you bothered Sora one more time, that I'd _really _kick your ass."

"I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend, is that such a crime?" I rolled my eyes, and I really wished that I had the ability to tell Axel how I really felt.

"Nu-uh. _Ex_-boyfriend you mean. You and Sora are over." Hayner corrected, stepping forward to stand in-between Axel and me.

"No…" Axel said stubbornly, shaking his head with horrified eyes. "Sora…please, we're not really over, are we?"

"Don't answer Sora. He has no right talking to you after what he did. I say I kick his ass and leave it at that, you agree with me Rox?" Hayner asked, stepping towards a backtracking redhead.

I desperately wanted to shake my head and tell him it _wasn't _over. The look in his eyes, made me feel so horrible, like I was the one who did something wrong. But I knew it _was over_. He did something unforgivable, whatever it was, and then planned to never tell me. I didn't try to stop them this time when they started fighting. Roxas didn't hold me back, and I wasn't worried about Axel's well-being. I just hoped that Hayner would beat him up so much; his own brother wouldn't recognize him, no matter how cruel that sounded.

The fight was stopped by a security guard and Reno, both pulling apart the bruised teens. Roxas went to Hayner, helping in holding him back. Axel's brother pushed him out of the store, and then walked over to me, ignoring the glares from my brother and Hayner.

"Sora, if you ever need to talk, without having to worry about Axel," He said, pulling out a paper and pen, writing something down. "Just text me. Here's my cell. Whenever you want to talk, I always have my cell on me and charged. 'Kay?" I nodded, accepting the paper from Reno without any negative emotions. I mean, it wasn't Reno's fault; it wasn't like he told Axel to cheat on me. "Bye, hun." He said and walked away, pushing Axel out, following the security guards one-way, while the others took us out through a different exit.

"Great, now how are we supposed to finish shopping?!" Hayner said as we were left outside. Apparently, fights in the mall are not allowed, so they kicked us out.

"Baby, we'll finish another day, let's just get Sora home. His feet probably hurt from trying to find us," my brother smirked at me. I sheepishly nodded my head.

**xxx**

'_Hey, reno, its sor. Can you talk?' _I ended up texting him the next day. Hayner and Roxas went to finish their shopping, and I didn't feel like possibly repeating yesterday's actions. Reno replied right away. _'yeah, you wanna meet sumwher???' _Well, I guess there was no problem with me meeting him in person, I mean, as long as Axel isn't there. So I told him,_ 'As long as this isnt a trick to get me to talk to axel...' _

It took Reno a while to reply back, but it wasn't that I actually cared, as long as I didn't have to talk to Axel or see him. I was in the middle of reading a very interesting part in my book when Reno text back. '_yah, of corse. Meet me at the mal?'_ I replied back saying yes.

I went downstairs to see my mom, grabbing a notebook on the way, starting to write while I walked. When I got to the kitchen, I showed her the paper and then kissed her good-bye.

"Wait, who's this friend?" She asked suspiciously, still cautious of me leaving the house especially alone.

'_Axel's brother. don't worry, he wouldn't hurt me._' And I turned and left, pocketing my cell phone.

It didn't take me long to walk to the mall, well it probably did, but I wasn't paying much attention. I was just randomly thinking of randomly horrible parts of my life. I don't know why, but I just was. When I got to the mall I text him to tell him I was there, and he told me to meet him in the food court.

I saw a guy with red hair pulled back sitting near the edge of the food court; I walked towards him and tapped him on the back to get his attention. He turned and…wow. If I hadn't met Axel first…wait, did I just say that? I guess I did.

"Yo, Sor, you wanted to talk?" I nodded and sat when he pulled the chair out for me. "I know sign language so go ahead." I tilted my head to the side in a type of question. "One of my best friends had an accident and became deaf, so a couple of us took a class so we could talk to him properly." I smiled. Wow, being sweet must run in the family.

I started signing to him right away. He interrupted rarely, only when I asked a question or something along those lines. He let me vent, say anything I wanted to and be expressive, as I wanted.

When I was done, I sighed and placed my hands on my lap, signaling that I had nothing else to say. "You done?" I nodded sheepishly, kind of ashamed that I said so much. "Okay, I have one question. Do you want to get back with my brother?" I didn't answer, I mean how could I. I wanted to on one hand, but on the other,…I really didn't. I was angry with him, and yet I just wanted him to hold me like he used to. "You don't have to answer now, I just want you to think about it."

_Roxas and Hayner wouldn't agree, if I wanted to get back with him. _

"Does it matter what they think?" I thought on that very little. It didn't matter what they wanted, but I didn't want to hurt them. I expressed that to Reno. "But if you were happy if you got back with my idiotic poor excuse for a human being of a brother, then wouldn't they be happy?" I shrugged , not really thinking on the question much.

"So." Reno clapped his hands together and stood. "Wanna go for a walk?" I shrugged once more, standing up and taking Reno's offered hand. His skin was so warm, so comforting.

We walked to the park that was halfway from the mall to my house. There was a gimungo tree in the middle of it, which was why the park was named Great Oak Park. I'm not sure if it's really an oak tree though…anyways. Reno released my hand and headed straight towards it, jumping up to grab the second lowest branch and pull himself up.

"Come on. Get up here." I shook my head and planted my feet into the ground. "You scared?" I nodded sheepishly. "Want me to help you?" I still shook my head. "Well, you're getting up here either way." He jumped down with ease that reminded me so much of Axel and took my hand in his once more, dragging me to the tree. "Start climbing."

Reno's hands were on my hips and he was giving me slight lift while I placed my feet in small indents in the tree. I started to climb, reaching for the first branch and pulling myself on it. Reno's hands then moved to my feet to keep me balanced while I reached for a higher one to pull myself up. I used all my strength to do so. I sat on the high branch and watched Reno climb up easily. He climbed up to my branch, and was about to climb up to another, but I pulled on his pant leg, causing him to stop and look down, carefully sitting next to me.

"Haven't you and Axel come to this park before?" I nodded. "Axel and I use to climb this tree all the time when I lived here. And he never did with you?" I shook my head.

_He knew I hate heights. He actually asked if I wanted to once, but I said no and he never tried again._

"How nice of him." That was the last thing said for a while between us. "He really does love you, y'know." I sighed.

_But he cheated on me._

"Wait, what?!" Reno all but shouted. "He did what?!" I nodded my head.

_Yeah, he said he did to Hayner – my brother's boyfriend._

"Oh, oh." He said, prolonging the second 'oh'. "Well, yeah, he kinda did." I furrowed my eyes together, wanting him to elaborate. "You'll have to ask him. I won't say anything more." I huffed and crossed my arms, pouting and caused Reno to chuckle at my obvious cuteness, much like Axel…

I watched the sky and saw that it was starting to get darker. Part of the sky turned different colors, partly pink and red and orange. The way it was mixed and the few clouds that were scattered made it look like a painting, made it look unreal. It didn't take long for the sun to completely set, leaving Reno and me in almost complete darkness. Because it got dark slowly, our eyes already were adjusted to the lack of light.

"When do you have to be home?" He asked, checking his watch. I held up eight fingers. "Okay, that means we have about an hour before we have to get you home. Do you want to start walking now?" I shrugged, meaning that I didn't care. Reno jumped down and then turned, holding his arms out for me. "Jump, hun, I'll catch you." He said in a voice that _so _reminded me of Axel and caused me to shiver. I took a deep breath and jumped into Ax-Reno's arms. I meant Reno, not – definitely _not _– Axel.

He caught me with ease, setting me down and wrapping his arm around my waist, unknowingly making me feel safe and warm. "Do you want my jacket while we walk, it's gettin' kind of breezy." I shook my head but he gave it to me anyways, then replaced his arm on him waist.

When we turned down on my street, Roxas and Hayner were walking outside about to get in Hayner's Ferrari. We got there as they were about to step in. I clapped my hands to get their attention. They turned and looked at me, Roxas ran, pushing Reno away accidentally and took me into his arms.

"Where the hell were you?!" Roxas asked looking to Reno. "And why are you with _him?" _I turned and noticed that in the dark and not really being able to see his face, Reno looked _a lot _like Axel, seeing as how his red hair stood out in the night.

I shook my head against his chest, stepping forward to stop Hayner from punching Reno.

"Whoa, don't mistake me for my retarded brother. I'm Reno." He said, holding his hands up in a surrender kind of way.

"Oh, sorry," Hayner said a little apprehensively, still in his 'fighting stance'. Roxas walked over and took his hand, easily calming him down.

"Yeah, we met at the mall thought I'd walk him home 'cause it was dark," Reno said.

"Thank you..." Roxas paused, waiting for Axel's brother to give him his name.

"Reno, and no problem. Now I got to get back to the hotel and kick my brother's ass for no good reason." Hayner smirked and I knew he was secretly wishing that he could kick Axel's ass instead. "See ya later, Sor. Text me if you need anything else."

I nodded and watched him walk away.

xxx

Reno was hanging out with Roxas, Hayner, and me. He wanted to spend more time to get to know me before he went back home. And everyday he spent with me, he would go back to the hotel with Axel, but not before telling us that he would kick his butt. I always wondered if he had really beaten up Axel for hurting me. Also, he said that if I was a few years older and not hopelessly in love with his brother, then he would be able to love me properly.

And yes, I mean like a lover.

And yes, I believed him.

"Hey, Sor, wanna come for a walk with me, I'm getting kind of bored." I shrugged and looked to my brother, silently asking if he minded. He shook his head and curled up into Hayner. "Come on." Reno stood and took my hand, gently pulling me along with him.

We started walking in a random direction, or at least it was for me, Reno seemed to know where we were going. I tugged and his hand to get him to turn to me, signing to him what was on my mind.

"I just wanted to take you somewhere." I nodded and let him pull me nicely along.

We kept on walking until we got to a cheap hotel, and to a room that had 118 on the door. I looked to him questioningly, but he just looked at me with a small smile on his face. He opened the door and shoved me inside, slamming the door after me. I tried to open the door with the handle but he was holding it closed. Then I started to pound on the wood, wanting him to open up, let me out, he was starting to scare me.

I heard a door open from behind me and I slowly turned around.

"Sora...?" Axel asked, looking at me with a shocked expression. I looked over him and noticed he was only in a towel, his upper body gleaming with water. "What are you doing here?" He asked, still holding his towel with one hand to keep it up.

I sighed heavily and lifted my foot behind me to give the door a loud and hard kick.

He stepped forward to me, but caught himself in the process. Staying where he was, he rubbed the back of neck nervously which was still covered with slightly damped hair. I walked over to one of the twin-sized beds and sat down, secretly hoping that this was Reno's.

Axel stayed where he was, not moving, not talking, not moving his eyes from mine.

I took my time to look over his body, realizing that he was covered in many different colored bruises, around his chest, stomach and legs. His arms were covered too, but stopped when they reached the forearms, his neck and face were left unmarred by any discoloration. I stood up and couldn't help myself from walking forward towards him and reached my hand to trace one of the larger yellow-ish bruises.

His face contorted into a slight grimace and a hiss of pain. I went to move my hand away, but it was caught by a pale one that replaced it back on the largest bruise with another hiss of pain.

I carefully ran my fingers over the discolored skin. His skin grew goose bumps and he shivered visibly as I continued to run my fingers over the bruise. His hand then returned to mine and laid over it. I looked up at him and noticed his eyes were on mine, gazing into them desperately, longingly, wantonly. I shifted my eyes away and was surprised when Axel pulled me to him, fully embracing me in a hug while letting out a gasp of pain at the pressure on the bruises.

I didn't pull back, but I didn't return the hug. I stood there, pressed against his dampened body. I didn't think about how much I missed this, how much I wished his arms were around me, warming me up to an incredible temperature. I sighed once more and eventually wrapped my arms around his middle, feeling him tighten his grip on me.

Before I realized it, I was crying. Tears were streaming down my face, hitting Axel's skin. He pulled back form me a little, and tilted my chin up with one of his hands before leaning down and kissing my tears away before laying a gentle kiss on my lips.

His lips were barely even there, I felt a ghost like touch hovering near my lips right as I pressed up, kissing his lips forcefully, and trying desperately to get more. And he replied just as passionately. Our lips melded together liked they did before he left, like they did before any of this happened, like before I started to hate him. I felt his tongue touch my lips and I melted in his arms, I opened my mouth and practically fainted when his tongue entered.

His hands went to my hips, lifting my shirt and slowly rubbed the skin there. I pressed my arms against his shoulders, pushing him back until we landed against a wall. He flipped us around, so I was leaning against it and he was able to press himself to me.

I know I should have stopped him, I should have stopped myself, but it was too good. Too nice. It has been far too long since I had last kissed him like this, not holding back, not scared. And I loved every second of it. I don't know how long we kissed, I didn't really care either. But I did end up stopping him when he went to lift up my shirt.

"Sora…" He breathed out breathlessly – if that made sense. "I'm sorry. For everything. I don't know why I did the things I do, but please, you have to forgive me." I shook my head and gently pushed him away, going over to sit on one of the two beds. Axel sighed once, but didn't say anything else, instead he went to a bag and pulled out a pair of pants and boxers. "I'll go change in the bathroom, please wait for me." I nodded and watched him shut the door behind him.

Yes, I know, this is the part where I run, leave him without a word (figuratively) and go kill Reno for doing this to me. But something was keeping me here. I didn't know what, it might have been my subconscious telling me that no matter what either of us to do each other, the love will never go away.

So when he stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but pants, I stood and ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him again. He was surprised, but kissed me back nonetheless. I pulled away again and stepped out of Axel's arm, kind of regretting that I kissed him again.

"Sora…" Dude, how many times was he going to say my name? Either way, I shook my head and backed up, going to the opposite side of the small hotel room.

I looked at the ground for a couple of minutes, still trying to contemplate how I felt. I mean, yeah, I still love Axel. Yeah, I wanted to be with him, but could I trust him enough to not do anything like before? Would he leave me again? I didn't know, and I don't think that I'd find out…

So, for now, I don't want to get back with Axel. Maybe later, maybe when he can prove himself.

I looked back up to him, and mouthed quite clearly. '_I still love you.' _

"And I still love you."

'_But I can't be with you.'_

"Why not?" He stepped forward and I stepped back. "Please, give me another chance." I shook my head. "Then let me prove myself, let me show you that I won't hurt you again." I turned around and went to the door. I pulled down the handle and realized that Reno wasn't holding it anymore, he was standing a couple feet away, leaning on the pole thing that held up the second floor.

"Sora, wait, give me another chance," Axel called when I stepped outside. I stood in front of Reno, slapped him in the arm, and then started signing to him. _What should I do?_

He spoke back in the same manner, telling me that I didn't have to, but I should at least let Axel prove that he's worth it and everything that I've been through. I nodded then walked behind him, letting him speak to his brother.

"Well…?" Axel asked. I could tell he wanted another chance, that he wanted to be with me, and frankly, I felt the same way…

"He says you have to prove that you're worthy of another chance. But I swear, Axel, if you hurt him, I will kick your ass so bad, that it make the beatings I've given you the past week seem like heaven. You 'got that memorized', Axel?" He nodded and then looked over Reno's shoulder to look at me. I smiled sheepishly at him and he grinned fully at me. "And you better go the _whole _nine yards, wooing him and all." Axel nodded curtly, looking back at his older brother. "'Kay, Sor, let's go."

Reno held out his hand. I reached for it, but not before running over to Axel and kissing him chastely on the lips. When I walked back to Reno, I knew Axel was behind me with his eyes closed, trying to remember that moment. It was obvious. Reno shook his head and took my hand, walking me back home. But every few seconds or minutes, I would look back at Axel, making sure he was still there.

I don't know why, but it helped me confirm what really happened.

I just wanted to know if Axel would stay true to his word and stay faithful…


	8. We're Okay, Got it Memorized?

_**Title:**__** We're Okay, Got it Memorized?  
**__**Author: **__Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)  
__**Disclaimer: **__Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?__**  
Pairings: **__Axel/Sora  
__**Rating: **__M  
__**Warnings: **__AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **Yeah, I had it ready a few days ago but the stupid login wasn't working. So, here, enjoy, and you better review because I worked hard on it.

**xxx**

Reno walked me home; I didn't speak to him though. I really didn't want to. I was rather pissed at him. I mean, I know he's trying to do good, but I don't think that him doing that is enough. Now I have to tell Roxas and Hayner where I was, and that will no doubt piss them off.

"Ya know, we don't _have to _tell your brother…" Reno started when we entered my neighborhood.

I took my hand from his and started to sign when he looked my way. _Yes we do, I can't lie to my brother, especially with Hayner there. Because, say I _do _get back with Axel, then they would be even more pissed because I didn't tell them to start out with._

_But they'd be pissed either way. _Reno signed back.

_Yeah, but they won't be _as _pissed._

_I highly doubt that._

I sighed and walked away. He caught up and took my hand in his once more. I looked up at him and smiled pitifully. It wasn't a real smile so that's why I say pitifully. Reno did the same, but I swear he looked to my lips and licked his own. I didn't move, and I didn't move my hand from his, even when he tightened the grip on it.

He started to lean forward, and I have to admit, I'm pretty sure I leaned in to. Before I even knew what was happening, our lips touched. It was a simple pressing of our lips. But I swear, he pressed harder against me, and I guess…I did too.

It wouldn't get any further than that, I couldn't let it. But, it did…

His hands lay on my hips while I raised mine to rest on his shoulders, much like I did with Axel. But for some reason, I felt safe in Axel's brother's arms. I wasn't really regretting that I was kissing him, even when I just told Axel I would give him another chance. I guess it's just because Reno gave me something that I haven't had in almost three months, and even then, it didn't feel this good. And now I feel bad.

_Okay, now that's enough, _I said to myself and turned my head, breaking the wonderful kiss with Reno that sent shivers up and down my spine.

"_Shit._" He muttered, still not backing away. "I'm so sorry Sora. I…don't know what happened." I shook my head and then I buried it into his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry." I shook my head against his broad chest and felt tears fall down my cheeks. But, I wasn't crying.

I looked up and noticed that it was _Reno _that was crying. I lifted my hand and started to brush away his tears.

"Sora, please, don't be mad. I'm sorry." He said.

Now that makes me wonder. Isn't this the part where he's supposed to say that he didn't mean to kiss me, that it just happened?

I smiled at the thought and moved my hands to form words. _Don't be sorry. _

"Why not?" He asked, completely confused.

_Just don't, please don't be sorry. _I said, feeling my own tears start to fall. I don't know why, but the feeling of him kissing me was great. I kind of wanted it to happen again, but I just couldn't, not when the one I truly wanted was Axel. Not his brother. But now that I think about it, Reno was just a replacement for Axel. I was using him…

**xxx**

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I decided _not _to tell my brother and his boyfriend about Axel getting another chance. I know what would happen, Reno and I played it out while finishing the walk home.

The walk home…wow.

Reno and I kissed, like actually kiss, no tongue but yeah…

But, maybe I shouldn't have kissed him back. It just led him on, and made him wanting more right? I knew he wanted more, much more. And I couldn't give him that. I was, for one, too young, and second of all I was undoubtedly in love with his brother, and lastly…okay, there wasn't a lastly.

I heard my phone vibrate on the dresser, the sound being off. I jumped up and grabbed it, unlocking it to check my text message. _Open the front door. _I looked at it oddly, it was from an unknown number. I slowly walked out of my room and down the stairs, heading towards the front door. I ignored Roxas calling for me and opened the door.

Looking around, I didn't see anyone, but I had this urge to look down. There, on the floor, was a long white box. I picked the box that had a red bow in the middle, and took in to the kitchen to where I looked at the tag. Roxas and Hayner were now behind me, reading over my shoulder.

_To my beautiful Angel._

_Your one and only,_

_Axel._

It said, in a beautiful cursive writing that I only knew Axel to have.

"That bastard!" Hayner yelled, taking the note from the box and crumpling it up in a ball. "Sora, don't open it." I ignored him, untied the bow, and lifted the lid, smiling widely when I saw six white roses laying neatly on a black velvet piece.

"Why six?" Roxas asked, also ignoring his fuming boyfriend.

I turned and signed to Roxas. _One for every first. First conversation, first meeting, first kiss, first touch, first 'I love you', and first fight. _I really didn't know why I knew all those firsts. I guess, it just came to me out of nowhere…

"What'd he say?" Hayner asked, nodding when Roxas repeated what I told him. "I really need to learn sign language," He muttered, walking back to the living room.

"Wait, first fight?" Roxas asked.

_About Charlotte._

"Oh right." He said, chuckling slightly and then looked at the roses once more before heading towards the living room behind Hayner. I turned back around, picked up the box and the crumpled up note and went up the stairs, planning on texting Axel thank you.

In my room, I text him. All I said was a simple thank you. He didn't text back, but Reno did.

'_How r u doin sexi???' _I replied back like two seconds later and said, '_I'm good, just got the roses axel sent me.' _I laid my phone down on my desk while I took out a rose from the box and laid it on my windowsill. One I put in one of my textbooks, then I squished the book under a couple other textbooks. I put the others in a vase after I emptied the dead ones out of it.

'_Roses?!'_

'_Yeah, didnt you know?'_

'_No.'_

'_Yeah, theyre white roses.'_

'_Y wite?'_

'_White roses are my fav flower.'_

'_O,how sweet.'_

'_Yeah. Hey, i have a question.'_

'_go head'_

'_those bruises on axel. Did u do that???'_

It was a while before he text back, I'd say, like three minutes. _'…yah…'_

'_so you really did beat him up everytime u went back to the hotel???'_

'_yah. He desrved it…'_

This time it took me a couple of minutes to reply. _'okay. I gtg, dinner time.'_

'_kay, ttyl.' _

Once I got that I threw my phone against my bean bag chair. It wasn't dinner time, it was only four. And I knew that Reno knew that too. I just…I can't believe that Reno actually beat Axel up every day for the past…what, two weeks? That must be why the bruises stopped when they did on his skin, clothes could cover up the parts that were discolored.

There was a knock on my door before it was opened and Hayner stood there. "Hey, I just wanted to apologize for earlier." I nodded and reached for my notebook to speak to him with. _It's fine, I know you just are overprotective. _"Well hell yeah I'm overprotective. I care about you and Roxas. I just don't want you to be hurt, okay?" I nodded once again and smiled weakly at him before he left the room.

**xxx**

I got another text from an unknown number. It was Axel, and he told me to not to make any plans for the day after Thanksgiving. Which was next Friday. I mean, I think it was a little too soon to be having a date, but I really did want to give Axel another chance. Like really bad. So I guess I wouldn't mind going on a date with him.

I was heading outside to go for a walk in the park and maybe climb the tree by myself before the sun set, when I got a text from an unknown number again, telling me to meet at the park. I shrugged and thought, I was going there anyways, so what does it matter.

On my way out, I signed to Roxas that I was heading out, he said he was too. He was going out to see Hayner obviously. But he didn't have to tell me for me to know it. Who else would he go see? No one I hope. I really like Hayner, he's like a brother to me. I think _I'd _be heartbroken if they broke up.

Well anyways, I started to walk to the park and my stomach started to knot. I had a bad feeling about something, but I don't know what. Just something was going to go wrong. But, it could have just been my twin-sense tingling. But that hasn't happened to me since Roxas got into that one fight at our other school that landed him in the hospital. And Roxas sensed it last when Riku…did that one thing.

I don't know why, but I just can't say it.

I reached the park just as the sun set into the horizon, and Axel wasn't there. I walked towards the big tree in the middle and started to climb it, I felt hands on my hips and at first I thought it was Axel, but then the person pulled me down. A hand was wrapped around my stomach, holding down one arm in the process while the other was gripping my left forearm tightly.

"Miss me, _Angel_?" Riku's voice echoed in my ear. I started to struggle forcefully, but with the way he was holding me, I couldn't do much. He pushed me over to the tree that I was headed to and turned me so my back was to it. "Wanna have some fun?" He whispered in my ear, starting to nibble it slightly. And I couldn't help but shudder. I mean, it felt kind of good…

What, what the hell?! What am I saying? It didn't feel good. No, not at all…

But what did feel good was when he started to trail his lips down my jaw to my neck, sucking in different places. I still struggled against him, but I couldn't help the feelings I got when he did what he did, I mean I'm a horny teenager, what do you expect?

"I knew you would like it, and you liked it before, too, huh?" I tried to shake my head, but my body wasn't compliant to anything I wanted to do. "You're just a pathetic whore aren't you? Aren't you Sora, come on, say it." He said, biting harshly on my neck to emphasize what he was saying. "Oh wait, you can't, can you?" Riku bit my neck once more before backing up and slamming his lips against mine. I kept my mouth closed, I may not have any control over my body but I did when I came to kissing, and I _definitely _didn't want to kiss Riku, especially since he - did that one thing to me.

But when he bit my lip I gasped out and his tongue immediately went in.

I felt his body start to rub against mine and I felt his erection brush against my crotch. I gasped once more at the friction and almost cried in the way my body responded.

I started to grind back.

I tried desperately to stop myself, but I just couldn't. It felt so good, not as good as it did with Axel – _not nearly. _

"You sonofabitch!" I heard and Riku was pulled away from me – _finally _– causing me to fall from the lack of him holding me up. I looked up and tired to get my eyes to focus in the dark. It was either Axel or Reno, I could tell that by the bright red hair and the glowing green eyes that held such anger that _I _cowered away.

"Axel!" Riku screamed and was thrown on the ground.

"Leave him, go to Sora." I heard Reno demand. I heard some footsteps and saw a figure standing over me. When he bent down I was able to see him clearly.

"Sora, Angel, are you okay?" I shook my head and leapt into his arms. "It's okay, I'm here. I won't let him touch you again, okay?" I nodded, easily believing him. I pressed myself tighter to him but gasped out as I felt him accidentally rub against my erection. I backed up immediately and pulled my knees to my chest. "Are you…hard?" I started to cry and looked away from him, turning my head to look at the dark green grass beside me.

I felt Axel's warm hand on my chin, turning it to look back at me.

I faintly heard Riku being beaten up. I didn't bother to look though, for I was only interested in looking at Axel and his gorgeous green eyes.

"Don't be ashamed." He whispered, and I jumped back into his arms. Axel caught me easily and started to stroke my back, rubbing lightly with his fingers, causing me to silently moan. That was always a type of turn on for me, don't ask why.

A few minutes later, I was still in Axel's arms, but Reno was now over here. He had a couple cuts and a busted lip. He said that Riku had run away with many bruises to show for it. "Hey, Sora, hun, let's get you home." I shook my head and pulled myself closer to Axel. "Do you want to come back with us?" I nodded furiously.

"I'll call your mom then." Reno said, standing up and dialing my house phone.

"Angel, let go so we can stand." I shook my head. "Reno…?" I felt hands start to pry me from Axel and I started to fuss before I realized it was only Reno.

I fell back into his arms while Axel stood, but once he did I was back in his, holding him tightly around the neck. He bent down slightly to hook his arms under my knees and lifted me up bridal style.

Before I knew it, we were back at the hotel and I was laying in Axel's bed, pressed against his warm body. I heard Reno say something about going out for a while before I fell asleep.

**xxx**

I woke up and I wasn't home. I don't know why, but I automatically started to freak out. I didn't know where I was, what was I supposed to do?

"Sora! Calm down, Angel." I winced at the word, but did as Axel said. "What's wrong, Angel?" I winced again and looked at him with a pitiful smile. "Is it about me calling you Angel?" I nodded. "Why?" I looked around for a paper and pen, but when I turned back to Axel he already had one in his hands for me.

_Riku…called me Angel while he_

"Oh, I'm sorry. I won't call you it again. Okay, Ang-my love?" I smiled at him and laid the notebook down on the side table. "I have a question for you…" I nodded. "A couple of weeks ago, when Hayner and I got into the first fight, he said…that you cut yourself," I looked away ashamed. "You did, didn't you?" I nodded. "Oh, my love, I'm sorry." I was enveloped in a hug and I sobbed into his chest. "Where?" I showed him my lightly scarred wrist.

He lifted my wrist to his lips and lightly kissed it. "Is that it?" I shook my head. I stood up and undid my pants, ignoring Axel's gasp when they and my boxers fell to the floor, showing the real damage to my skin. Not only did I cut on my ankle, but the inside of my thighs were badly cut.

"I'm so sorry." He stood and wrapped me in his arms again. I lifted my head and brought my lips to his in a much needed kiss. After we briefly kissed, he dropped to his knees, looked up at me and then parted my legs to kiss my thighs. I gasped at the sensation and clenched my hands into fists. He kissed each scar and then kissed my legs until he got down to my ankles and kissed each one before sitting back on his legs. "I love you."

I fell into his arms and pressed another kiss to his lips. I kissed him fully, opening my mouth almost immediately when he asked. "Sora...wait." He mumbled against my lips and started to press me back.

This situation seemed so familar, just like before, after the time I was...nevermind.

"We can't, I promised Reno _and _you that I would do it like I did the first time. Slowly." I shook my head and laid him on the floor, laying on top of him. "No, So-mmph!" I kissed him and forced his mouth open and sighed when there was no more arguring or resistance. We kissed for minutes, his hands running along the length of my back while mine stayed gripping on his shoulders. I felt his hands go under my shirt and I keened into him, loving the feel of his soft hands on my skin.

My shirt came off in no time, leaving me completely naked. I was about to work on his shirt but was stopped when he flipped us over and kissed every part of my body that he could reach. I held him close to me and naively tried to press myself against him.

"Axel Henry Jones!" I turned my head and saw Reno standing near the door, literally fuming. Axel jumped off of me while pulling the blanket off the hotel bed to replace him. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?!"

"Uhm..." I sat up and tried to get Reno's attention so I could sign to him. "I'm sorry, I don't have any excuse for what I did, Sir." I stopped motioning and just stared at my ex-boyfriend(?). Did he really just say '_sir_'?

"Get out. Don't come back until I call you." And Axel walked walked out of the hotel without even looking at me. Was he _that _afraid of his brother? "Sora..." Reno started and picked up my clothes off the floor. "Do you mind telling me what that was?"

_Don't blame Axel, I did it. I wanted it._

"Well, I'm going to blame him, I told him to wait and not do anything, even if you were ready and he didn't listen to me."

_Just don't hurt him anymore, please._

"Fine." And with that he turned away.

**xxx**

I don't know when Reno called Axel, or when he came back in. I just know that when I woke up Axel was laying next to me, I was curled up in his warm arms. My back was pressed against his warm bare chest. I knew he didn't have a shirt on because I only pulled on my pants when Reno handed them to me. I didn't want to stay in boxers because there was a chance that he could've seen my cut up skin.

"Sora?" I jumped slightly and that caused Axel to chuckle in my ear, making me shudder. "You awake, my love?" I nodded and turned in his arms, something that I was a pro at. "I love you." I smiled and pecked his lips gently. _I love you, too. _I mouthed back. "I need to tell you some things, but I think you already know." I looked at him patiently, I think I _do _know what he was talking about. "I couldn't live without you, no matter what. I needed to see you, your smile, your beautiful eyes, and the pout that you always got when you didn't get your way. So I came back. I went to your house and you weren't there, once your brother said you were out with Riku, I started to flip.

"See, there was something else that I never told you. You weren't my first. Riku was. I used to date him, but when I didn't want to have sex with him...he raped me. So, I know how you felt that night. I know that you wanted to be clean, and by someone who loves you. After Riku...did that to me, he forced me in the shower and cleaned me up so I couldn't go to the police. When I went home and told Reno, he was furious, my parents even more pissed, them because I was with a guy. Reno took me to the police, but they couldn't do a damn thing. When I got back home, my _parents _beat me so bad I couldn't go to school for a month, the first week because I was in so much pain from the raping. Reno left after that, he was eighteen, but he couldn't take me away because mom and dad wouldn't allow it, and I refused to leave Kairi - seeing as she was just born.

"When I found out you were raped, I should have taken you to the police. But I wasn't thinking straight. I just knew that you would want to be clean, want to be and feel safe. But I regret that I did that, if I took you to the police, Riku would never bother us again." By now, Axel was crying. This wasn't exactly what I was expecting when he said he had things to tell me. But I'm glad he did. It makes me feel closer to him.

"The only reason I said you took my virginity was because Reno told me that I was still a virgin when it happened all those years ago - if you're wondering, I was only thirteen. I started to believe it myself, but when the time came and I surprised you, I was literally freaking out until you came into the room with that shocked expression of yours." I smiled at the remembrance of it.

"While I was in Midgar, I didn't do much of anything, all I did was sit at Reno's and go to work at a cafe that paid for performances. I sang every night, hours at a time. I'm sorry I never told you I could sing, I didn't like anyone knowing. But I raised enough money to pay for a downpayment on a house. I wasn't planning on telling you for a while, but I don't think I should lie to you anymore about anything. I paid the downpayment, and I kept on working until I could buy the house, Reno paid for half because he didn't want me doing it all by myself.

"There's one more thing." He took a deep breath. "I cheated on you, with..." He took one more deep breath before continuing. "One of my ex's." I nodded my head. "His name's Zack Fair. I've known him since I was little, he's Reno's age.

"I didn't do it with him. We did everything but that. I almost did though. I was so tempted to, just to get that feeling that I got with you, back. I needed it. But right at the last moment, before I could enter him...I stopped. He completely understood, having already known about you from Reno. He said that he wouldn't have left me continue anyways, he would have stopped me whether I wanted to or not.

"That was the night before I came back." I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me to where his head was laying on my chest. I pet his red hair.

I heard some rustling of sheets from the bed next to ours before Reno sat up. "Sora? Ax? You two okay?"

"Yeah, I think we are." Axel lifted his head to look at me, smiling when he saw I was. "I really do."


	9. Go, Got it Memorized?

**_Title: Go, Got it Memorized?  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note:** So here's the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it - okay, enjoy it more, because there were parts that I wrote that made me feel like a whore (You'll understand by the end of the chapter. Please review and tell me what you think, I've worked hard on this story, I really have, and I want to know how you all think of it. :]

**xxx**

I got up feeling like I haven't felt in ages! I woke up in Axel's arms, Reno wasn't mad - okay, maybe a little - and I felt safe as can be. When I got out of bed and the bathroom, Axel was already up and dressed, having laid some clothes laid out on the bed. I walked towards them in my boxers and picked them up, examining them critically.

"Oh, Sor, get over yourself and put them on!" Reno said playfully, softly bumping me with his elbow while walking by. I stuck my tongue out at him and started to take off my pants. I hesitated slightly when I was about to pull them down I looked over at Axel, then to Reno, trying to signal to him that I needed him to distract his brother. Axel nodded and stood up, walked over to his brother before tackling him on the floor, kicking the wall and making a big ol' dent in it. "You little whore!" Reno exclaimed, and then pushed Axel off of him to jump on top of him.

"Shut up, you bitch!" Wow.

I quickly took off my pants while Reno was distracted and couldn't notice my cuts. I took off my boxers too, grabbed the pants and boxers on the bed and pulled them on, surprised when they fit me perfectly. I knew the clothes looked familiar! I haven't seen or worn these in _months_! Axel must have somehow gotten a hold of them.

Once I pulled on the pants I heard a _huge _crash and something breaking. I looked over to the guys and saw them still entwined with bloody faces and looking down at a broken lamp.

"Oh, nice going, you nimrod!" Then they started laughing and continued to attack each other with a playful viciousness. I shook my head at there idiocy and finished putting my shirt on. Once that was done I gathered my clothes from yesterday and threw them on what I'm assuming was Axel's bag. I mean, it had his crazy boxers that I bought him months ago at the mall to embarrass him. I just never thought he'd wear them.

I walked over to Reno and Axel and clapped my hands over their heads to get their attention, when that didn't work I kicked one of them in the back - who? I'm not sure. I just know that when I did, there was a girly-like yelp and then they separated. When Reno stood, he pointed to Axel, who was rolling on the floor, holding his back. Dropping to my knees, I rolled him over and onto my lap. I didn't kick him _that _hard did I?

"Ow, much!" Axel groaned out, obviously in pain. I worried my lip and held his head in my hands, getting him to look at me.

_I'm sooooo sorry. _I mouthed to him.

"It's okay, you sometimes don't know your - what I thought was - nonexistent strength. Don't worry, Sor. I'm not mad." He said, sitting up and wrapping his arms around me. I would never get tired of the feeling of it.

I backed away from him so he could read my lips. _You sure?_

"'Course! I know you didn't mean to kick me that hard, you just wanted our attention, right?" I nodded frantically. "Then it's fine. I forgive you." I beamed at him and hugged him again before standing up. I went in to kiss him before I stopped at his bloody lip. "What..? Oh," He wiped his lip and then pressed them to mine in a simple chaste kiss. I slightly winced at the bitter taste but ignored it to kiss him deeper.

"Okay, as much as I would _love _to watch gay porn, Axel's my brother and for him to be a good boyfriend I have to make sure he gets you home." I backed away once more, but this time with a blush on my cheeks. "Didn't mean to embarrass you, hun." Reno chuckled.

"Leave us alone, Reno." Axel said, defending me since he saw that I was blushing. "I'll take him home. And, _yes, _I'll walk him to the door, _dad_."

"Uhm, actually that might _not _be a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Roxas and Hayner, they _might _not appreciate you being with Sora."

"So, I'm not going to wuss out, I'm not afraid of Hayner, or Roxas. I'm going to walk Sora to the _door, _up to his room, and tuck him into bed, _after _we hang out for the day. I owe Sora _at least _that." I smiled and stood up, holding out my hand for him to take. When he reached to take it, instead of standing up, he pulled me down on his lap, holding me tightly. I went to get out, but he wouldn't let me. "Uh-uh-uh. You're not getting away from me that easily again."

I stopped struggling and pouted, crossing my arms while in his lap.

"Aww!" Reno said, clapping his hands together and laying them against his face.

"He's adorable!" Axel agreed, hugging me even closer to him.

I pushed off of Axel and went to sit on the bed, but the plan was 'thwarted' when Reno picked me up and planted me on his lap.

"I swear Axel, if I found him first…mm, mm, _mm!_"

"Hey! But you didn't find him first, so give me back my boyfriend!" Axel said, standing up and picking me up bridal style, throwing me on the bed to go argue with his brother. I shook my head and picked up two pillows off the beds and threw them both to hit Reno and Axel. "You buttface!" My boyfriend said then tackled me, tickling my sides while kissing my neck. I was silently screaming, trying to get him to get off of me, but loving the way his teeth were biting along my collar bone.

"Stop torturing him and go for a walk in the park." Reno said, lifting his brother off of me. I smiled up at them with happy tears from crying in my eyes. "Look, ya' practically killed him!" I smiled wider and took Reno's offered hand and sat up.

"That actually sounds like a good idea, what do ya' think, my love?" I nodded and then took Axel's hand and walked out of the hotel, waving goodbye to a semi-looking-depressed Reno.

**xxx**

I was dancing in the rain. There was thunder, lightning, pouring warm rain. And I was reveling in it. It was so beautiful out. Axel was spinning me around and under his arm like a gentlemen from the movies would do. I was pressed up against his body, slowly swaying on the wet cement.

The only real sound was the rain pounding on the ground, and the thunder booming every few seconds. It was dark outside, almost pitch black, if it wasn't for the lightning it would be impossible to see. The lights having gone out a few hours ago.

"Sora…" I took my head off of his shoulder and stopped moving. "I love you." I kept a straight face an leaned up to him, pressing my lips to his in a tender kiss. The rain already pounded down our hair, making it almost completely flat, and having our hands run through each other's made it more tamed, something we both didn't like.

But right now, it didn't matter, as long as we were still pressed against each other.

When the kiss ended, he leaned his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes, blinking rapidly to keep the water out of his eyes. "I truly do love you, you know that right?" I nodded and mouthed, 'I love you' back to him. "I need to get you home, warm, and in bed. Okay?" I nodded again and stayed pressed against his body for the little warmth that he held.

The park wasn't far from home, and we got there in no time. I used my house key to open the front door, and took into consideration that mom wasn't home, so we would only have to deal with my overprotective brother and his even _more _over protective boyfriend. I shut the door silently and took off my shoes and socks, knowing that they would make too much noise and leave footprints on the cream colored carpet.

Axel was about to say something, but I put my finger against his lips to shush him. When he was about to say something again, I leaned up and kissed him, thinking that this was the only way to keep him quiet.

We parted because there was a clearing of throat that sounded _exactly _like Hayner. I backed away, but kept touching Axel, just for comfort.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hayner asked, now with Roxas by his side, both with either a candle or a flashlight in their hands.

"Kissing my boyfriend." Axel said smugly while wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Sora?" I nodded, not ashamed for some reason.

"Since when?" Roxas asked, not mad, not disappointed or confused.

"Last night."

"Why?" Axel was about to say something, I could feel his chest rise with an upcoming breath. "No, I want Sora to tell us."

I sighed and lifted my hands over Axel's arms to talk. _I was walking through the park and Riku found me. Don't start. Axel and Reno found me, kicked his ass and took me to the hotel. Axel and I were talking, and yeah…I love him, more than anything – bar you Roxas – and I _need _to be with him. I really do. And I am going to be with him, whether you two like it or not._

After I signed all that, I took Axel's hand and went up the stairs.

"Sora!" Roxas called. I sighed loudly and turned around. "Hurry, you're dripping on the carpet. Mom will kill you if it stains." He said with a smile, taking Hayner's hand to calm him down.

"Thanks." Axel said, hurrying me up to get to the bathroom, the lights coming on when we were getting undressed, but we left them off, liking to take showers in the dark.

**xxx**

Shower sex. Wow, it's hot. I thought it was awesome the first time after…yeah, but when it's full of love and wow. It's the best. Not as good as the first time, I don't think _anything_ will ever be that good. But it was up there. Axel was pressed against the shower wall, screaming at the top of his lungs, while I was thrusting into him, hand on his member. I was also biting into his shoulder, knowing he liked it when I did that.

Damn, I was _so _close to coming. I could feel Axel tensing slightly right before he came, causing me to, not even a second later.

Next thing I knew I was pulled out of him and in his arms on his lap, letting the water run over us. He was whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him.

"Sora? Answer me, sweetheart. Are you okay?" I nodded, cuddling against him, loving how he was warm in the cold spray of water. "You usually black out for a while after we make love, but that was kind of ridiculous." I shook my head, and closed my eyes, determined on going to sleep right here and right now. "Come on, baby, let's get you up."

I was tired, and to make this difficult for Axel, I literally put all my weight on him, so he had to somehow stand up with me on him, dry us _both _off and take us to my room to get dressed while covering us decently with towels.

I was laid down on my bed completely naked. I sat up when I didn't feel Axel next to me. He was sitting in the corner of my room on my bean bag, fully dressed, looking out the window.

"I love you, Sora. And I want to be with you, forever. And once you're old enough I promise to marry you." I gasped, getting his attention. "Sora! I thought you were asleep!?" He stood up and crossed the room over to me, sitting down on the edge of my bed, playing with the frail of my blanket.

I reached to my side table, turned on the small lamp that gave enough light so I could see his shockingly bright green eyes. After I turned the light on, I grabbed my notebook and pen so I could talk to him.

_You want to marry me?_

"Yes. There could be nothing more in the world that I want more than you to be with me and my husband."

_I would LOVE to be your husband._

"Really." I nodded. "God, how I love you!" He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. "Then I'll make you a promise. Next year, the _day _you turn eighteen, I _will _propose to you, with a ring and everything. Got it memorized?" I nodded and hugged him back.

I felt him start to press me down against the bed, running a hand over my back, to my sides, then to my hips. His hand went further down, trailing down my thigh before coming up and resting on my groin, right above the area that I _needed _him to touch. "Sora…" I looked up at him, smiling slightly. The little light from my lamp cast shadows onto Axel's face, illuminating his smile, making it look a little eerie, but not uncomfortably so.

"I would like to make love to you, Sora, will you let me?" I breathed in slowly, and then breathed out a little out, biting my lip in fear. "It's okay if you don't want to," He raised his hand to stroke my cheek. "I would never intentionally hurt you again. Okay, my love?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me so I could kiss him. His hands stayed, caressing my skin, not touching anywhere major, I think that was because he didn't want to rush things too much. "Just push me away," He whispered before pecking my lips a couple more times, "When it's too much. Got it?" I nodded.

I trailed my hands down his back, going to the hem of his shirt to pull it up. That was flown across the room to I don't know where as I went to the front of his pants to undo them. I pushed those down as far as I could, then let him take them of completely.

Axel wasn't wearing underwear, which confused me. "I didn't have any extra boxers here." Oh right, he only had a couple of outfits left here from forever ago.

His hands went to two different places. One went to my neck, rubbing right above my collar bone. Something that I haven't done in years. "A while ago, your mom said this relaxed you, that this was a comfort mechanism when you were a child after you lost your voice." I nodded and smiled gratefully, I can't believe he's so caring. The other hand went to spread my legs, allowing him to lie in between them. "I love you, Sora. Never forget that." I nodded once more, and shivered when his finger touched my entrance. It felt different, but not bad, so I don't know if that was a shiver of pleasure or fear.

"Just relax, okay." I was going to _dare _tell him how tense I was. I don't think I needed too, I think he could feel it. "Baby, we can't do this if you don't relax." He removed his hand from down there, but continued to rub that part along my neck for comfort. "We really don't have to do this. If it's too soon – which I know it is – then we'll wait. I don't want to push you," I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. Axel rolled us over to I was laying on his chest, my body cradled by his legs. "Sleep, my love. I know you need it."

**xxx**

"I don't want to, Reno. I'm staying here with Sora." There was a pause. "All that 'beating me up' because I wasn't with Sora, and now you want me to leave him. Why?" Another pause. "So you can what!? You fucking jerk." His snapped his phone shut and I heard it slam against something soft, probably my bean bag.

I slowly opened my eyes to see it was still dark outside and rain was still pounding against my window, making it look surreal. I looked to my bedside cloak and saw it only said _11: 48. _Everyone was probably still up. Sitting up, I caught Axel's attention.

"Sora, baby, I love you." He said as he enveloped me in his arms, hugging me close. I hugged back hesitantly, what was wrong with him? "Reno wants me to leave, he says he…doesn't matter. I won't leave you, not again, I can't deal without you." I nodded and ran my hands over his back in a soothing way. "Are you still mad at me for leaving?" I shook my head, backing up from his shoulder to kiss his lips.

The kiss quickly turned into more, Axel having pressed me down to lay on the bed. Our bare bodies were pressing together in an intimate way. Axel hands were crawling over my body, moving slowly, but a little roughly. I guess I didn't mind it much, only when his, you know, brushed against my, you know, I tensed, pushing Axel away, but failing miserably. I wasn't _nearly _as strong as Axel, so how was _I _supposed to get him away.

But when I tried, he moved right away, rolling onto his side to look at me. "Sorry, I just…needed something." I smiled a little and pressed my lips to his in a tender kiss. The kiss again turned into more, this time it ended in me inside of Axel, not that I was complaining whatsoever.

Just as I was about to start to thrust into him, he flipped us over, with me still in him and started riding me. I looked at him, carefully watching him as he was able to get pleasure from him doing all the work. It was amazing. I left my hands on his hips, not knowing what else to do with them, I mean, what _was _I supposed to do? His face expression went from enjoyable to pleasurable in seconds flat, his screams getting louder as he hit his prostate while going down each time.

I closed my eyes, and looked away from him. I don't know why, but…just having Axel above me…it, scared me. I didn't like it. I felt Axel start to slow down, and eventually completely stop. "Sora?" He asked in a breathless way. I felt him get off of me and pull me into his arms. "What was wrong?" I shook my head, but he ignored it and reached for the notebook on the nightstand. "Write it." I shook my head. He forced the red pen into my hand and put it on a blank page.

_When you were on top, it made me think of Riku and how he looked above me. I…couldn't deal with it._

"That's why you weren't hard anymore. That's how I knew to stop. I'm sorry baby, I didn't think it would bother you."

_It's okay. You didn't mean to do it. :)_

"Of course not, my love. I love you and hurting you isn't even the last thing on my mind." I nodded and fell back into his arms, laying the notebook on the floor.

There was a knock on my door, it was soft, but I couldn't tell who it was. I scooted back and covered myself with the blanket while Axel stood, pulled on his pants, and went to unlock and open the door.

"Hey, your brother's here." Hayner said softly, eyes avoiding Axel's. "And I wanted to apologize for how I've acted towards you. If you make Sora happy, then that should be all that matters. So, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Axel said simply, a smile lightening his voice.

"Kay." Hayner left, a proud smile on his face.

"I'm going to be _right back_, baby. Don't worry." I nodded and laid back, watching him leave.

He wasn't back within minutes, and I was getting curious, not worried because I _knew _he would return. But I wanted to know what was taking him so long, so I got up, pulled on a shirt and boxers, and headed downstairs.

"-will not! He's back and he's staying!" I heard Hayner yell, then be calmed by my brother.

"He has to come back home with me. I can't tell you why, but he _just has _to." Reno said calmly, knowing that Hayner had a temper because I told him.

"No! Reno, until you give me a reason, I will _not _step _one foot _out of this house, away from Sora." Axel said, and from the sound of his voice, it sounded like he was still near the stairs.

"I…can't." Stupid jerk. I came down the stairs and looked straight at Reno.

_I can't believe you would do this. You tried _so _hard to get us back together, and now you want to take him away from me? I can't believe you, or the fact that I thought that I could actually fall for you, or even _love _you. _My signing caused Roxas to gasp, him definitely not knowing that I kind of liked Reno.

Reno didn't speak, but signed back. _I can't tell Axel, but…I'll tell you. In the other room, away from your brothe. _I nodded and followed him outside, barely acknowledging Axel's protest. _Sora, I have to take him back because of Zack, something happened to him. If I told Axel now, he would break down, I thought it'd be best if he heard it from Zack himself. _

_That's it? _I replied. He nodded his head and I reached forward and slapped him as hard as I could. _Why didn't you just say so? He can go, as long as you bring him back within a week._

_But, how do we get him to leave?_

_I'll think of something. _I paused to think. I could…no, that'd be real cruel. But, it would _definitely _work. _I could start a fight with him. Telling him to leave. Then when you guys get to Midgar, I could tell him that it was just a trick to get him to go._

_Would you really do that?_

I didn't reply, but I did nod, turning around. I felt Reno wrap his arms around my waist and lay his head against my ear on my shoulder. "Would you really have fallen for me if you met me first?" He whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine, it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Not whatsoever. "Then it's too bad you met Axel." I gasped at what he did next.

He actually kissed my neck, going all the way to my lips, where he left a soft kiss against them. He lingered there for moments before doing something else. Reno pressed on my lips more and…

I responded.

Yes, I actually kissed him back. Don't ask me why I did, I didn't know then and I don't know why now. I just know I felt the same way I did when I kissed Axel.

Now _that _sounded horrible.

Regretting nothing, I moved away. _Eventually_.

**xxx**

I threw Axel's clothes at him, making sure to do it as hard as possible.

"Sora, sweetie, what's wrong? What'd I do?" I shook my head and walked away, to the bedroom door and opened it. "You want me to leave?" I nodded this time. "Why, please, Sora, tell me what I did wrong. Let me fix it. I don't want to leave you." I shook my head again and motioned for him to leave. "You really want me to go?" I didn't answer and looked everywhere but him. "Please." He said, voice thick and eyes obviously watering.

He eventually stepped out of the room, just as he turned around and said something, "I lo-" I slammed the door in his face. I locked it and leaned against it, sliding down until I sat on the floor. Laying my head on my arms which were resting on my knees, I started to cry. Sob.

Outside the door, I heard Axel sniff and then walk away, heading down the stairs with heavy footsteps.

No. No. No.

Why did I do that?

For Reno, I did it for Reno. Which I shouldn't have. I'm such a whore. I mean , I kiss Reno, felt as good as I do with Axel, and now I told Axel to get out, because _Reno _wanted him to go with him to see their friend.

I couldn't do this.

I couldn't live without Axel. Not again.

I stood up, opened the door and ran down the stairs, outside the front door, where it was still pouring, and to where Reno had a black SUV parked. The lights were on and I could tell that they were about to leave. I saw Axel look out his window at the house, and just as he did, I felt, hitting the floor hard, scratching up my hands. But I didn't care. When Axel got out of the SUV, I ran to him, falling in his arms.

"Sora, are you okay?" I shook my head and clawed at his back, not wanting him to go. "I thought…" I shook my head again, this time furiously. You thought wrong, I wanted to say. I don't want you to go, I wanted to say. But with my voice disability, I couldn't say anything I felt. "Come on, let's go back inside and we'll talk."

"Axel!" Reno yelled over the rain, coming towards us. "We got to go." He said, voice depressed by the rain and the situation.

"Not now, Reno. I got to make sure Sor's all right." He picked me up bridal style, minding my knees which I didn't even know were cut up.

We got in the house and there was Roxas and Hayner, watching the scene from the doorway. Mom still obviously wasn't home, even though it was around twelve o'clock. "What happened?" Roxas asked me.

When Axel set me down on the kitchen counter, I immediately started to sign to Roxas while Axel got the First Aid Kit to fix up my knees and hands. _Tell Axel I'm sorry. I don't want him to go. _He relayed it to Axel who hugged me tightly and kissed my neck. I regretted pushing him away, but I felt wrong being so close to him when I did that thing with Reno. Axel was hurt by my reaction, along with Roxas and Hayner, but not Reno. If you ask me, he looked a little smug. _Tell him…I kissed Reno._

"You didn't!" Roxas yelled, sounding appalled. I nodded and felt tears come to my eyes. He whispered it in Hayner's ear, who then looked at Reno with accusing eyes. "Keep them apart."

"Keep who apart? And why?" Axel asked, looking to everyone in the room for an explanation.

"Reno and Sora…kissed." My brother said, gauging the reaction of Axel, who turned to stoic, shock, then pissed. He lunged for his own brother, but not before Hayner jumped in his way to stop him, successfully holding him back.

"You fucking bastard!" Axel yelled, trying to get to his brother who backed up further away. "Why?!" He shouted. "Why? Why? Why?" He asked, getting quieter with each 'why' until he was almost at a whisper. He calmed down, stopped fighting with Hayner, and fell to the floor. "Why?" He asked one more time, this time questioned at me. I shook my head and looked away. "I'm gonna go for a walk." He mumbled, standing up and bypassing Hayner and not even looking at his brother. I went to get up to stop him, but immediately fell to my knees because they hurt to much to support me. Axel looked back at me, a tic starting in his jaw as he resisted helping me up. Then he turned away and didn't look back.

I heard the door open.

And I heard it shut.

Meaning he left.

I curled myself up on the floor, ignoring everybody's help to stand up. I only wanted _one _person. And now that one person was gone.


	10. I Don't Trust You, Got It Memorized?

**_Title: I Don't Trust You, Got it Memorized?  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **So I was writing part of this while listening to 97.9 KUPD and the song How Could You by Saliva came on, I looked up the lyrics, and was like wow…it kinda fits…

**xxx**

I pounded my fist against the floor once. Then again. And again. I was so pissed at myself, but I couldn't not tell him. I couldn't lie to him, that would have been even worse. I just…was _so _pissed at myself. I, argh!

I went to stand again, just to fall again, this time caught by Reno. At first I thought it was Axel, coming back to help me, but the smell was completely different. Axel had this fresh pine sent mixed with spice, whereas Reno smelt like smoke and this expensive cologne. I pushed Reno away, backing up into the counter, which I braced my hands on, only to fall because of the pain that shot through my palms.

"Sora…" My brother called from in front of me. I shook my head, but fell into his open arms either way. I sobbed into his shoulder, tightly shutting my eyes as I tried to block out the sound of Reno's voice talking to Hayner.

"Who kissed who first?" Hayner asked, somehow staying calm in the whole situation.

"I kissed him first." Reno admitted, the smug tone leaving his voice. I wasn't doing a good job of ignoring them.

"Why?"

"Because I think I love him, too. I can't help it. When I first kissed him the other week, it was like he was teasing me, even though it wasn't his fault, he stopped, but this time…we just kept going. I _knew _it was wrong, and I _knew _that if I continued to kiss Sora, it would hurt my brother more than anything I could ever do. But I couldn't stop. It was just _too damn good _kissing Sora."

I heard someone being shoved against the wall. "Don't talk like that. I wouldn't care if you did, if you were going out with Sor, but _you're _not, Axel, your _brother, _is or was, whatever. Now thanks to you, he's _god knows where_ alone, wet, and probably drinking himself into oblivion, no thanks to _you. _I'd tell you to go and die, but that would take away the fun of _me _killing you."

"Hayner!" Roxas snapped, backing away from me to yell at his boyfriend. "Just come help me get Sora upstairs. After that we'll go out and find Axel."

Minutes flew by. I was in my room with Reno sitting on the edge of the bed, only allowed to because Roxas said I needed someone to look after me. He and Hayner went to go find my boyfriend _(?) _and bring him back to talk to me.

"Sora?" I shook my head and lay on my side, facing away from him. "Please, look at me." I shook my head again and froze when he sighed and crawled behind me, spooning me. "I love you Sora, and hurting you and Axel was the last thing on my mind. It's just, with you around, I'm _so _tempted to hug, hold, kiss you, and even _make love _to you. I want to be Axel. I want to have the love that you and he share."

I ignored him and his hand on my body, crawling up under my shirt.

"Let me show you just how much I can love you." I nodded, not being able to say no to the silky voice in my ear.

His kisses against my skin went everywhere. His hands quickly taking off my clothes, his lips following. I keened under him, not really caring or feeling. I mean, yeah, it felt wondrous, but nothing compared to the way Axel made me feel. And I don't think Reno really cared; I think he just wanted to get pleasure. I always had a feeling that something like this would happen. Like deep down.

"Sora let me, please." I nodded deafly, not caring what happened from then on. He undressed us both; he entered me after slowly and gently preparing me while kissing my body with gentle caresses. I didn't stop him, but then again I didn't tell him to continue. I just wanted Axel, and if I couldn't have him, I'd have to settle for the second best thing.

He entered me, my hands tightening into fists in the sheets, trying to ignore the pain and think of something else. I thought of Axel, how hurt he was and how he looked after he heard what Roxas had said. I thought of all the times we have spent together over the past six months. I thought of how much he loved me and wanted to be the one to take my virginity. I thought of him. Period. His smile, his laugh, his bright green eyes and blood red hair and those idiotic tattoos that mark him for who he is.

He may have looked and acted like his brother, but Reno and Axel were nothing alike.

And I thank god for that.

Reno stopped moving once he was in me, looking down with lovingly eyes. Dare I say it – I felt loved and cared for. But not nearly as much as I usually did with Axel.

Nothing could replace that feeling, now that I think about it.

I loved Axel, with all my heart, more than anything – maybe even more than my brother.

I loved Reno too, but not more than I did Axel, I _could _have loved him more, if only I had met him first, but the fact was…I didn't. And that was why I had to stop Reno.

Placing my hands on Reno's face, I got him to look at me while I mouthed at him.

_Stop._

"But…" He said, starting to thrust. Hitting my prostate right away, causing me to drop my hands back to the bed and arch into him. I didn't even know what I was going to say previously. I just know that the feeling of Reno thrusting into me – completely different than the horrible feeling I got with Riku, but I knew it was also different than what I could feel with Axel.

With Reno grunting, his eyes closed tightly while he continued to thrust in me, he didn't notice the tears of betrayal I felt. Even though I was crying, I couldn't help but enjoy Reno fucking me. And yes, he _was _fucking me. I didn't really love him, I don't know if he really loved me, but I see why people had one night stands. Because of this carnal pleasurable feeling, it was completely enjoyable. And yet that still didn't give me a reason to be doing this.

But I didn't have much of a choice. Either way, Reno could have fucked me, whether it was with my agreement, or against it.

I could tell Axel that Reno raped me. But I don't want to break up their barely there brotherhood – which was probably gone now because I _had_to tell Axel that I cheated on him. I mean, I had to. I couldn't lie to him. I loved him and I can't keep a secret from him.

So, no, I was _not _going to tell Axel that.

He may not have raped me, but he might as well have. This wasn't against my will, but it wasn't like he took into consideration of hurting his brother.

I couldn't think anymore as he thrust continuously into me, hitting that bundle of nerves _each and every time_. It was very…distracting. It felt so good, I knew it was only moments before I came. And when I did, I silently screamed, wishing that I could really scream.

For I screamed Axel's name.

**xxx**

I was laying, panting, trying to regain my breath. Reno was pulling out of me, gently taking into consideration that it was painful.

He curled up next to me, looked down at me and whispered words that I longed to hear from Axel, not Reno, "I love you Sora." I closed my eyes and looked away, just to have his hand placed on my chin, "It's true. I really do." I nodded either way and moved his hand away from my face.

I heard the front door slam and some muffled yelling from downstairs. Reno jumped up and got dressed quickly, fixing his hair in my mirror.

"Sorry, I'll go see what's going on."

I only left minutes later, after I carefully got dressed, trying to ignore the pain in my backside. I pulled on my boxers only, not being able to pull on anything else. I slowly limped out of my room, leaning on the walls for support.

The pain was unbearable, and yet still nothing like when that one time with Riku. Thank god. I think if it was like that, I would have to kill myself. Really? Maybe…

I took the stairs one at a time, slowly going down, being careful not to make any sound. Half way down the stairs, I heard Reno and Axel fighting.

"This is why you came here in the first place, isn't it!? Not to get me back with Sora, but to take him for yourself!"

"No, Axel, I swear. I never thought I would fall for him. But don't blame him. I kissed him first."

"That's not all he did." I looked away from the wall where the other room was and saw my brother at the bottom of the stairs, watching me slowly limp down.

"What?" Axel said, anger starting to rise once more.

"He fucked Sora." Roxas said, slowly walking up to me to help me. He must have known that I was in pain; it wasn't like he never had sex.

"No…" There was denial in Axel's voice. "Sora wouldn't let him."

"Ask him yourself." Roxas put most of my weight on him, carefully helping me down the last flight of stairs.

"Sora…? You didn't let Reno fuck you, did you?" My eyes started to water and my lips curled in an attempt to stop me from crying. "Why?" He asked, the question not being the first time he asked it tonight. All I could do was shake my head in response. I didn't have an answer, it just happened, and I _definitely _wasn't in my right mind when that happened. Axel turned to look at his brother, not with an expression of anger, but one of betrayal.

"Ax, I'm sorry." Reno said pathetically.

"Don't apologize for something you aren't sorry for. Isn't that what you always told me?" Axel said while walking to stand in front of me and Roxas. "I love you Sora." I nodded and mouthed it back, tears cascading down my cheeks. "But I'm leaving. I already got a ticket for the bus back to Midgar. I'm going to stay with a couple of my old friends. I won't ever be back." I nodded, completely understanding his reasons. I wouldn't want to stay here if he did this to me. He lifted his hand and laid it on my cheek, his touch causing me to shudder in needing pleasure. "I just…want to kiss you good bye." I nodded and leaned off of my brother, easily falling into Axel's arms.

He smiled pitifully down at me, making me cry even more. His lips went to my cheek, kissing away tears on both sides before going to my lips and laying them softly together. I shuddered once more before pressing against him even harder.

Axel's tongue licked at my lips, in a way that I was _so _used to, and yet it still left me weak at the knees – unless it was because I was just fucked not minutes ago…

Anyways, it didn't matter, his lips against mine were more than in enough, but when he moved his tongue into my mouth, I was in heaven. I used mine against his, loving how his moan caused my mouth to vibrate.

Axel pulled away too soon for my liking, and when I tried to pull him back, he shook his head, removing my arms from around his neck.

Tears started to fall from my eyes, as I saw him walk away. I mouthed his name, over and over again. But he was already turned away from me, walking out the door.

**xxx**

Reno kept trying to talk to me, to apologize. I, with Roxas and Hayner's help, got him away and out of the house. I didn't feel bad for what I had said to Reno, I didn't feel bad for kissing him, but I _did _feel bad for letting him fuck me, something that I was saving for Axel since as far back as I could remember.

I don't even know why I let him do that to me. I felt…like I needed it, just that comfort, and that feeling that would distract me from the world around me.

Up in my room, I grabbed the razor blade from under my mattress and collapsed to the ground, pressing the blade into my skin right away, as hard as I could, successfully cutting myself and scarring my wrist. I did the same thing to the other one not a second later.

Maybe I should have thought before I did this, for I left the door open and in came my brother.

"Sora…do you need to – oh my god!" He ran over to me, prying my hand from my wrist. Too late. "_Hayner!"_ Everything was all hazy now. I saw Hayner run in my room, along with mom. I wonder when she got home…

**xxx**

_"He's…mute."_

_"Please, help him."_

_"Sir, you…there."_

_"He'll need-"_

_"He needs medical at…and we…distraction."_

_"So…a!" _Axel?!

**xxx**

My eyes hurtso much. My arms felt limp. My head was pounding. And overall, I felt like _shit_. It took me a while to open my eyes, but when I did, I noticed that the lights were all off except for a dim lamp over my head, but it was pointed to another direction.

I was in a hospital room, one that was pure white, and the only things in there were a couple chairs, – that were empty– my bed, and all that hospital monitor stuff.

I looked around more, seeing as how my eyes adjusted to the lack of light. On my bed, there was a mop of red spiky hair. I ran my hands through the hair and smiled inwardly. It was Axel. I could tell my running my fingers through the soft hair.

Touching him, caused him to wake up, sitting up and looking at me with tear-streaked cheeks. I smiled so he could see and went to lift my hands to touch his face. That was when I realized that my arms were being held down by restraints. Pulling on them hurt my wrist, causing me to hiss out of pain. "Try not to do that," Axel said with a croaky voice, voicing what I thought. "They had to restrain you; you are a danger to yourself. They had no other choice, and, quite frankly, I agree with them. I don't even know why I'm here. I was walking to the bust stop when an ambulance went by with Hayner speeding behind them. They pulled over, told me what happened, and I – for some reason I can't understand – ran straight here, getting here before your brother. Now I'm rambling, so I'm gonna shut up now." He finished with a sigh, and plopped back down in his seat by my bed.

My hand still itched to be held by his, so I gently moved it forward, brushing my fingers against his for a few seconds before retracting it, hoping he got what I was trying to do. I guess he did, for he placed my hand under his and gripped it softly.

"Why did you let Reno fuck you when you told me earlier that you didn't want to with me? Was it _because _it was me?" I shook my head, tightening my hand to get him to look up from where our hands were entwined. "What?"

_'I love you'_ I mouthed, feeling tears prickle at my eyes.

"I love you, too, Sora. I just don't understand why you would let _Reno fuck _you, when I just wanted to _make love to you_." I looked at him questioningly. "There's a difference, you should know that by now." I raised my eyebrows. "The first time we had sex, _that _was making love. The second, at my house, even though it wasn't forced or anything, it didn't have any _real _feelings to it, making it _fucking_. Do you understand?" I nodded and smiled a little.

"Or…did you let him make love to you…?" I shook my head frantically. He looked up at me.

_'Only you.'_

"Only me." He confirmed with a statement and stood up, leaning over and pressed his lips to mine tenderly. The kiss was nothing more than the moving a lips, one of my favorite kinds of kisses.

"Sora? Are you awake?" I turned my head away from Axel reluctantly to look to my mom who had walked in with a couple cups of coffee.

I smiled at her, trying to lift my arms, to push myself up, completely forgetting that I was tied down to the bed. Axel pushed on my chest before the restraints tugged too hard.

"Don't move, Sora, honey." I nodded and kissed her cheek when she bent to hug me. My mom handed a cup of coffee to Axel. "Here." Axel took the cup thankfully and smelled it with a smile. "How are you feeling?" I nodded my head and mouthed that I was feeling a lot better, especially with Axel here.

"Mr. Hikari." A nurse and a doctor entered the room. I looked at the nurse fearfully, for she had a syringe with some liquid in it. "Don't worry, that's only if you don't cooperate." Axel glared at them both and held my hand tightly, standing in the way of the nurse. "Sir, please step outside while we talk to Sora and his mother."

I shook my head, not letting go of Axel's hand. "I stay with Sora at all times."

"Doctor, he's allowed to stay." My mother said, having seen the look in my eyes when they asked him to leave. Axel walked around to the other side of the bed so the doctor could see me.

"Right, anyways. Sora, you lost a lot of blood when you cut your wrists, and from what we've seen, that wasn't the first time that you had cut. We are going to keep you here for at least a week to do a mental evaluation and find out if there is anything in your life we can change so you aren't tempted to do again. Do you have any clue as to why you cut yourself?" I didn't answer, but I looked away. "Please, we must know."

"Sora, honey, you can tell them." I looked up at Axel, who had his eyes avoiding mine.

"Is it this man? Sir, what is your name, your age, and relation to the boy?" The nurse asked, setting down the syringe to take out a pad of paper and a pen.

"I'm Axel, eighteen, and I'm Sora's…" What was he to me? We weren't still together were we? I looked up at Axel, wondering what he was going to say. "Boyfriend."

I haven't felt this happy since early last night when Axel said he wanted to marry me. He was still my boyfriend! I felt so elated.

"Do you know why he harmed himself so drastically?"

"Yes, it was because we were going to break up and I was going to leave, never coming back. He felt guilty about doing something, but we talked about it before you came in. Everything's fine again." I looked to Axel's eyes when he glanced at me, and I know that there was a promise of us talking about it for real later.

"Do you think he's ready to return home?"

"As long as I'm with him, he's ready to do anything." That made seem kind of pathetic, but it's true. With Axel with me, I can do anything and everything.

**xxx**

I was home now. In Axel's arms, staring at the blank TV screen, he was talking, but nothing really registered in my mind.

"Sora…you have to listen to me, it's the only way I'd consider staying. Are you listening?" I nodded and looked at him to prove my point. "Okay, so, in the past two weeks, I've come back, we've broken up, gotten back together, you cheated on me…twice and now we're okay. Did I miss anything?" I nodded. "What?"

_'You forgot to mention that I love you.' _I mouthed to him.

"Well, I wasn't exactly sure if you still did." I'm appalled. "I know, you're 'appalled', I can tell by the look on you're face. But, I don't know if I can still trust you after everything that happened." I nodded my head in understanding. It was only natural for him to feel that way, I mean even _I_ didn't completely trust him for cheating on me. "Good, now kiss me so we can make up." I smiled widely and pressed my lips to his, pulling back only after a minute went by. "You call _that _a kiss? I'm…" I cut him off with my lips, pushing my tongue into his mouth right away.

"Gross!" I ignored my brother and continued to make out with Axel, my hands going to his slightly damp hair.

Axel pushed me back onto the couch, his hands running along my arms, going up to my wrists where he held them against the arm of the couch.

When he grabbed my arms, I gasped out, tears coming to my eyes and falling down my cheeks when I sat up. Axel gathered me in his arms, hugging me tightly, apologizing for hurting me.

"I forgot, I did, I swear, I'm sorry Sora." I shook my head and carefully moved my wrists from my chest to look at the bandages. There was blood starting to seep through, meaning that we had to change them now. "Rox!" Axel called.

"Yeah?" Roxas asked, coming in with a mixing bowl and his hand kneading something.

"Can you or Hayner get me the medical stuff for Sor?" Roxas nodded and went back to the kitchen mixing something that _had _to taste horrible. He didn't get _any _cooking skills from mom. Not whatsoever. Nope, that's all me.

Hayner came in a few minutes later, carrying a bag of gauzes, medical tape and an ace bandage. Hayner looked at me briefly, his eyes staying away from mine _and _my wrists.

"Thanks," Axel said, accepting the bag and dumping them out on the couch. I heard a little grunt from Hayner, showing that he heard. Axel dug threw them and, what I'm assuming was supposed to be subtle, moved the scissors from my sight. I sighed, but didn't let him know I noticed. "Give me one of your arms, babe." I laid my forearm palm up on his knee, waiting patiently as he got the gauze and antiseptic out.

He started to gently rub the antiseptic on my wrist and the gauze, before laying the piece on top of my arm, holding it there with a gently touch while he started to wrap a new ace bandage around my arm, holding it in place with one of the clip thingies. Once he finished, he lifted my arm and pressed a kiss to it, before do the same thing to the other one. When he was done with both, he shoed the things on the floor and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me down on top of him so my head was on his chest.

"Do you know how much I love you, Sora?" I shook my head. I mean, I knew, but I didn't. "I love you with all my heart. And it hurt when I found out you were kissing my brother, not only because you did it, but because he was supposed to someone that I trusted to be around you, and I think he hurt you as much as he did me." I nodded against his chest, smiling when he giggled at the sensation of my hair running along his neck. "I…want to be yours and you be mine forever, but only if you want it. Before you answer, I want you to know…that I probably won't trust you again for a long time, you'll have to earn it, but then again so do I." Again, I nodded. "I don't know what's going to happen with me and Reno, but I just know that we won't be as close."

I felt guilty for that, I really did. I don't know why either. I mean, yeah, I guess I do. I ruined their relationship because I didn't know how to tell Reno to stop. But…it's his fault too, he should have known better than to go for his brother's boyfriend, that's just wrong.

"And, this is your last chance. I know I may sound like a hypocrite for saying this, but I can't be with you if you cheat…" I kept nodding. I knew how he felt. I felt the same way, but I think I would forgive Axel for _anything_.

"Okay, good, do want dinner?" I shook my head and stood up, pulling on his hand and then went up the stairs, ignoring the pain that still softly radiated throughout my body.

Once in my room, I laid down on my bed, pulling Axel on top of me.

"Sora…" He said, looking at me curiously. "Are you saying…" I nodded, pulling his shirt up, running my hands over his skin when it was exposed. "You're still in pain though…"

'_I don't care. Just make love to me.'_ I mouthed to him, smiling when he brought his mouth down on mine.

Our clothes were slowly and lovingly removed from our bodies, us taking turns on removing them from the other with kisses pressed in between. I couldn't get enough of touching his body, I know it was only the other day when we last had sex, but this time was different. He was going to make love to me…finally, and there was nothing to stop him.

I felt his hands run over my body.

I felt him kiss me everywhere softly.

I felt him prepare me with even more care than Reno.

Then I finally felt him enter me, pressing in with the utmost love and compassion.

I felt complete.

His thrusts were slow throughout. And his words were soft and comforting, and I felt no pain. Whatsoever.

"Oh, Sora…" He moaned softly, thrusting in a certain angle, causing me to arch up into him and grip him tighter to me. "_Yes…_" Axel said, making sure to hit that same spot. Every. Single. Frigging. Time.

I moaned and moaned, wanting to show him how good I felt. It didn't even occur to me that I couldn't make sound. I just know that I wanted to voice how I felt to him.

My throat started to hurt, probably from the fact that I was putting strain on my vocal chords and I didn't let it up. I stressed them even more, and I don't even think I knew that I was doing it, I just know that Axel made me feel _so good _and I wanted to let him know that. Next thing I know, I hoarse scream hits my ears and I can't help but think that that _wasn't _Axel.

Axel collapsed on me, his head pressed against my chest as he was still inside of me. I moaned again, this time _knowing _that that wasn't Axel moaning.

His head snapped up and he looked at me, eyes wide and shining. "You didn't…" I moaned again, smiling when I made a sound. "Oh my god!" He yelled and pulled me into his arms, pressing kisses all along my face.

I was shocked. I mean, yeah, I knew there would be a chance that I could talk again, just didn't think that it would be this soon…even though fourteen years isn't exactly soon…but still.

"Ax…el." I said, my voice sore and hoarse. "I…love you." I had to let him know. I had to tell him that I loved him, I _had _to let him hear my voice.

"Oh, Sora…" His eyes watered. "I love you too. You don't how happy I am to _finally _hear you say that." I smiled at him, tears filling my eyes as well.


	11. It's Supposed to be My Happy Ending

**_Title: It's Supposed To Be My Happy Ending, Got it Memorized?  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **Yeah, I thought this was going to be my last chapter…nope! I got a whole plot worked out which should take up two or so more chapters, so y'all are lucky, I was _this close _to ending the story here…but nope! I love all you reviewers and this story _way _too much to end it so soon, even though it has about 50,000 thousand words!

Anyways, enjoy!!

**xxx**

I lay in Axel's arms, softly whispering 'I love you' over and over again, not straining my voice to much, but wanting to because of the way Axel's eyes lit up every time I did. Eventually he told me to stop; of course he was laughing and smiling while he did so. I was still curled up in his arms, and he was running his hands along my body, making me moan lightly in response.

"Baby," I looked up at him. "Don't strain your voice to much, take a break, and then talk again later." I nodded and rubbed my head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat there. "I love your voice." He said after minutes of silence, causing me to laugh out at the randomness. "And dear lord, I love your laugh even more." I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes, stopping my laugh to kiss him gently. "But I love _you _even more than the fact that you can once again make sound, always have."

"I wanna tell Rox." I wheezed out, coughing when I tried to take a breath. Axel sat me up and patted and rubbed my back soothingly. "I'm okay," I said when I knew it would be safe to do so. I pointed to the door then I did a walking sign, then pointed downstairs, knowing that Axel would understand. He did and stood up, helping me up with him.

He bent down and pulled on his pants and slipped on his shirt before I could even bend down to get my clothes. He ended up dressing me, kissing every part of my body lovingly before pulling the clothes on me. "You ready?" I replied with a simple, 'yes' and couldn't help but smile once again when his eyes lit up with happiness. "Are you in pain, though? Do you need me to carry you?" I shook my head and took his hand, walking to my door with only a slight limp. It didn't hurt that bad, but the pain just reminded me of what we just did.

Going down the stairs wasn't as hard as it was the first time, but still a little difficult, luckily I had Axel to help though.

When we got to the kitchen, Roxas and Hayner were making out. Roxas was sitting up on the counter with his legs wrapped around Hayner's waist, and their shirts off, they were covered in dough_(?)_ and oblivious to the fact we just walked into the room.

Axel cleared his throat, and when they didn't answer, I spoke up. "Uhm, excuse us?" My voice was still a little hoarse and weak, but audible. Roxas and Hayner broke apart and looked over at us oddly. "I don't need to see you guys do it on the table," I said clearly, smiling when they realized that it was me who was talking.

Roxas pushed Hayner away and jumped off the counter to run over to me, embracing me in a doughy hug. "How!?" He said, pulling back and looking from me to Axel when I blushed and we didn't answer. "_Oh_! You mean…?"

"Yeah…" I said shyly and stepped back into Axel's arms, wiping the dough and flour off of me.

"That's hot." Hayner said from across the kitchen. I cracked up laughing for a couple of minutes before I was thrown into another coughing fit. "Here," Hayner said while handing me a glass of water. Axel was rubbing my back as he directed me into a seat. I sat and took a big gulp of water, feeling like my throat was on fire. I coughed a little more but covered my mouth this time, expecting it. What I didn't expect was to cough up blood.

"Sor, are you okay, my love?" I nodded deafly. They didn't see the blood in my hand for I quickly wiped it on my pants…

"Yeah, I'm good." I said. I think I'm going to talk as much as possible.

"You sound like Roxas." Hayner pointed out.

"He does." Axel agreed.

"Do not!" Roxy and I both said at the same time. My brother and I turned to look at each other and blushed at the same time. Now that I actually thought about it, our voices _did _sound kind of the same…

I looked up to Axel and smiled, about to mouth, 'I love you' but instead chose to say it out loud, loving how his eyes still lit up and his smile turned gimungo. "I love you, Axel. With all my heart." I made sure I wouldn't cough while saying this, but still ended up hacking up a lung.

"Shh, I know you do, and I love you too, now stop talking before I gag you." He said, bending down to my level.

"What are you going to gag me with?" I said, loving the fact that I could talk even more because I was able to comeback with a witty remark every time Axel left something open like that.

"Oh, that's great!" Roxas said, sighing then going over to Hayner to laugh maniacally and pecking his lips. Hayner obviously wasn't satisfied with that – he never was – and ended up lifting Roxas back up on the counter to make out with him.

I groaned and took Axel's hand and went up the stairs as fast I could. When we got up to my room, I pushed Axel into the door. He chuckled at me and lifted his hands in a surrender type of way when I pushed them off of me. I took off Axel's clothes as sexily and teasingly as I could, kissing random parts of his body. He looked at me funny, but I ignored it. Now, I wanted to try something, something I always wanted to try, I wanted…to give Axel head… I kissed him once on the lips, the jaw, and then his neck, chest and all the way down to where I was on my knees. I looked up one last time to see Axel fearful. I didn't understand why, seeing as how I was the one who could possibly choke on something very large…

I kissing the tip of his hard length once before running my hand along the tip, feeling encouraged when he moaned my name loudly. I took just the tip into my mouth, sucking gently, but harder with each moan from Axel. His hand started to weave through my hair, tugging at random spots in certain moments when I applied enough pressure.

A short time passed before Axel started to slowly thrust into my mouth, obviously holding back from shoving himself down my throat. I only bobbed my head slightly, knowing that I couldn't take anymore into my mouth without hurting myself. But to make up for that, I softly ran my hand around the rest of him, moving it in the opposite way that I was moving my head.

"Sora, stop," His voice was shaky, a clear sign that he was close. I continued my efforts and sucked harder, his moan music to my ears. "Now," His voice was just a tad bit firmer, but I paid no mind to it, again, continuing my ministrations. I looked up at him one last time before he came in my mouth, letting me swallow. "No…" His voice was weak and still shaky.

"Why not," I asked standing up, kissing his jaw and nibbling along his skin.

"You shouldn't have had to…" What is he talking about?

"I wanted to though." He sighed and smiled at me, not bothering to argue, which caused me to smile. "I love you and I thought it was time to repay the favor since you have done that to me so many times."

"So…you wanted to do that?" I nodded, forgetting for a moment I could talk while I looked into Axel's eyes. "Thank you, my love." Then he kissed me softly on the lips.

**xxx**

Mom called.

She said she wouldn't be home tonight. It was all cool.

I mean, what could four, horny teenagers do on a weekend?

Orgy!

No, we'd just either sit in the living room and watch a horror movie together, or go to our rooms and…Do stuff…

As if, I don't know about Rox and Hayn, but Axel and I were direly exhausted from…doing stuff. It was all good though, we were content to just lying on the couch together watching Tommy Boy for the fiftieth time since we've been together.

_"'Whadya do?!'" _Axel and I both mimicked the part where Richard had pulled off the car door when it was really Tommy's fault. I laughed along with him and grabbed my drink off the floor, taking a sip and then coughing. "Babe, what's wrong?" He rubbed my back and took the drink from me so I couldn't drop it. My throat once again felt raw and I could hardly breathe. I felt faint and my vision was all blurry-like. I couldn't really hear Axel say my name. It was minutes before anything went back to normal, but I still felt a little whoozy. "Sora!" I shook my head and held my hand out for the drink. When Ax handed it to me, I downed it slowly, my throat feeling a _little _better.

"I'm fine," I coughed a little more and immediately wiped my hand. I couldn't let Axel see the blood; he would seriously blow it all out of proportion. It was probably just like a cut on my throat or something? Who knows. "I just couldn't breath for a moment." I explained without him asking what was wrong. "I'm all good now," To prove that I leant forward and kissed him, not expecting Ax to lay me down and totally engage us in a make out session.

I laughed lightly when he nibbled on my Adam's apple. I knew that he liked my laugh, especially when he was able to feel it. Neither of us had put any clothes on, and were in our pajama pants – boxers for Axel – so Axel had kissed down my chest, going further down. I was moaning like crazy just as I heard Roxas shriek.

Sitting up, Axel started laughing. He was looking over the side of the couch I was laying on. I sat up and looked in the same direction laughing at how Roxas was turned and his head was in Hayner's shoulder, his own eyes wide with shock. "Uhm, guys, that's why they created privacy…" I hear Roxas mumble, his voice shaky.

"Great idea!" Axel jumped up, shut off the TV and pulled me up to the room. We had already done it like fifteen times, how could he still want to do it? Stupid Roxas.

**xxx **

"So you can talk now?!" My mom asked for the billionth time as she gave me a ride to school. Axel had to do something, and Roxas had spent the night at Hayner's last night.

"Yes, _mother_, I can talk. Now if you don't stop asking me, I'm swear, I'm going-" I wasn't able to continue as I was forced to stop talking to cough. And once again, I had to wipe the blood on my pants.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm _so very _ecstatic. Now that you can talk, are you going to give me details about you-" I jumped out of the car before she could finish, knowing what she was going to ask. I shut the door and ran up to the school, ignoring people's looks and cringing slightly from the sun that barely shone through from all the dust flying around. I walked to my locker and put my bag in there, grabbing my books for my first class.

Just as I shut my locker, hands were on my waist in a tight way and breath was on my ear, smelling like coffee. "Hey, love." I smiled and laid my hands on his, entwining my fingers with his.

"Hi," I said, getting a couple of gasps from people around us. I mean, they didn't know I was a mute, they just thought I never talked. "What are you doing here?"

"I go here now. Since I wasn't able to finish my senior year last year, I have to repeat it. But I thought there wouldn't have been a better school than yours. So where's Rox?"

"That's great!" I exclaimed, turning and wrapping my arms around Axel's neck. "And Rox spent the night at Hayner's, so he'll probably be late because one, they woke up late because they had so much sex. Or two, they had shower sex while attempting to get up."

"Axel!" We parted from our hug as some kid from a year behind me came running up to him. Demyx – I think his name was – jumped into Axel's arms, wrapping his legs around my boyfriend's waist. "It's been for-_ever_! Where'd ya go?!"

"I moved to Midgar to spend some time with my brother." Axel grunted, slowly setting the blonde down.

"Oh, cool, cool. Who's he?" He said, pointing to me.

"This is Sora, my boyfriend."

"Cool!" Then he turned to me. "Hi, I'm Demyx! One of Axel's best-est-estes friends ever." Axel chuckled and clapped Demyx's shoulder.

Apparently, Demyx used to live next to Axel, that is, before Axel was kicked out. Demyx was in a grade lower than mine, but then he was skipped ahead – for reasons I'm still trying to determine, for Demyx seems like he's the epitome of dumb blonde. But he seems like he's a great friend to Axel, and that's all that really matters.

During lunch, we all hung out at my tree – Roxas being dropped off. But like I said, he didn't come in till like third period. And that's the last class before lunch. Roxas and Demyx got into some conversation about god only knows that has to do with who knows what because the reaction of I don't know mixed with your mom equals the sum of who cares and your mom times god only knows.

At least, that's what I understood.

I was to busy making out with my boyfriend. Oh yeah, on school grounds.

"Hey, Roxy." I backed away from Axel to see Seifer coming up to us. "Where's Hayner?"

"He doesn't go here anymore."

"But he was here earlier…"

"Well, he only had to come the first few months because he didn't have the right amount of credits for collage, but he got them plus he's taking a year off to relax before he has to go back to school."

"Oh, okay." Seifer said, about to walk away.

"Why don't you sit and hang with us?" I spoke up. I mean, I knew he didn't hang out with Riku anymore, so he was probably lonely.

"You sure about that, Sora?" Seifer pressed. I nodded and went back to making out with Axel and only kissing him briefly. "Dude! In front of me!?"

"They've been doing this off and on since lunch started." I barely registered Seifer making an 'ohh'-ing sound as Axel's tongue worked along mine. Next thing I knew, Axel's hands were under my shirt, crawling along my chest and his kisses went down to my neck, biting gently on my collar bone. "Guys!" Roxas yelled, getting my attention.

"Can I help ya-you Roxy?" I tried to stay as calm as possible as I started to squirm under Axel's kisses.

Keyword: Tried.

"We're in school. And Mr. King is walking this way!" I smacked Axel to get him off of me and pushed him away, straightening my shirt while looking around for Mr. King. Roxas, Demyx, and Seifer bust up laughing, making me glare at them. "Your face!" He took a breath and continued talking. "Wow, priceless!" He and Seifer high-fived each other. "I can't believe you _slapped _Axel!"

"I know! Now _that _was a Kodak moment!" Seifer joined in, much to my dismay.

"Leave us alone…" Axel said, rubbing his head where I smacked him, but still defended me.

"You're still the same, Ax." Demyx said. Making me wonder _how _in _hell _Demyx knew Axel was still the same.

"'Course! How could I ever change?!" Axel exclaimed, wrapping his arms around me. I looked up at him because I was able to sense a hint of sadness in his voice. His eyes were the same. "What up, Sora?" I shook my head and mouthed 'later'. He nodded and groaned as the bell rang for the end of lunch. "Looks like it's back to hell," I giggled as he stood up and stretched, showing part of his stomach.

It was hot, if I don't say so myself.

"What?" Axel asked me, pulling his shirt down when he lowered his arms.

"Nothing." And I smiled widely, sticking my tongue out at him for no reason.

All of a sudden I was pulled up against Axel. "If you don't put it away, I'll put that tongue to better use." Hmm…

"What kind of use?" I asked, feeling in a very teasing mood.

"Oh, just a little of that…and a little of what you did last night." I moaned at the thought, but pushed away from him, grabbing my bag off the ground and walking to class, noticing how Seifer was openly flirting with my brother, and it was obvious my brother saw and noticed it, replying in the same manner. "Leave them." Axel whispered in my ear, taking my hand and walked up to school.

"But…Hayner…"

"It's their relationship, they have to work things out themselves." I didn't like that. I didn't like it when Hayner and Roxas fight, it's depressing…

**xxx**

Axel and I were curled up on the slide at the park, out jackets laid out over us to keep us warm from the strong winds that came out of no where. Demyx was burying himself in the sand, thinking that that would keep him warm, although with every gust of wind, the sand would fly away, making him groan out of impatience and me laugh at his stupidity. Seifer had his arms wrapped around my brother, keeping him warm while Roxas cuddled into him.

On our way here, I had asked Roxas what was wrong with him and Hayner, and he said they were on a break, about something that caused them to fight.

"Hey, Sora?! Can you come over and help bury me?" Demyx called, still working on covering his legs.

"And move from my warm spot with my boyfriend? Ha! You're funny, Demy." I replied, nuzzling Axel's neck.

"Axel!" Demyx whined, especially when Axel replied the same thing I did. He slammed his hand down on the sand, causing it to blow everywhere in the wind, and that everywhere included his eye. He quickly rubbed the sand from his blue eyes and then looked to where my brother was seated. "Seifer, Roxas, think you can stop making out for a moment and help bury me?" I gasped and looked over to said people making out and gaped at them.

Roxas was facing forward, Seifer's legs around him and Roxas' head was turned in a way that it was sideways and Seifer was bending forward. I could see their mouths moving together and their tongues _caress _one another. Apparently, they were completely oblivious to anything anyone said. I didn't snap out of my shocked trance until my phone started vibrating, playing 'Lala.' I opened the text and saw it was from Hayner.

_'Im cming dwn 2 the prk, wht shold i say 2 rox?'_

I replied immediately, only looking at Roxas and Seifer once, seeing they changed their position to where Roxas was straddling Seifer's waist. _'That it's over.'_ Yeah, I actually sent that. I mean, Hayner's a good guy; he shouldn't have to deal with Roxas making out with another guy, even if they _are _on a break.

"Why?" I sat up and looked behind the playground equipment to see Hayner there, phone in hand and a confused expression on his face.

"I had nothing to do with this!" I held my hands up and pointed behind me, to where he looked and I swear, I thought he was going to be _furious_. But instead…I swear, I've never seen anyone more depressed than Hayner at that moment. "Hayner…" I jumped off the slide and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him, meaning to be comforting.

"Don't…" I looked at him weirdly. "You smell just like Roxas." That's odd. I've never heard that before.

Hayner then turned and walked away, leaving the park altogether. I shook my head and wlaked back over to Axel.

"Who was that guy?" Demyx asked, pointing to Hayner's retreating back.

"Hayner…" I said, getting Roxas' attention this time.

"What?! Hayner was here? Did he see us?" I nodded. "Good." I scoffed. "I've been trying to make him jealous for the past week. Hayner doesn't appreciate me." I scoffed and got up, walking away. I saw Hayner's Ferrari parked in a parking lot a few blocks down. Hearing Axel call my name, I raised a finger, meaning 'one minute'.

"Hayner?" I asked, knocking on the tinted window. I heard the car unlock and I walked around, getting in the passenger seat. "You wanna talk 'bout it?" I wheezed out then started coughing, covering my mouth with my hands, wiping them on my jeans when I noticed there was once again blood in it. I felt a little light-headed but I ignored it and turned back to Hayner. He was more important right now. "You're bleeding!" He said, turning to me and grabbed my hand where there was still a slight red stain.

"It's nothing." I said, feeling a little woozier. "I swear."

"Go to the doctors." I nodded.

"I will, later. I'll make an appointment for next week," Hayner dropped it with a sigh and released my hand. "Now, what exactly happened this morning?"

"I don't want to talk about it…just…hold me, please?" I nodded and he crawled over the middle thing and we squeezed onto one seat, his head on my chest as we reclined slightly. "I didn't think he would do anything like that…I just didn't…" I nodded and brushed back his hair with one of my hands while the other wiped his tears away. I didn't want to say anything, for I was afraid that I would say the wrong thing. "He said he would fin someone else…I didn't believe him…"

"I wouldn't have either." I said, trying to help Hayner not feel that guilty. "But you have to remember that Roxas doesn't lie a lot."

"I know. I feel so idiotic, just…grr!" Hayner growled and sat up, anger apparent on his face and glowing in his eyes. "I put so much into our relationship; I never thought that I was under appreciating him…"

"You weren't, and if anything, you treat Roxas better than Axel treated and treats me now."

"That's what I thought, but apparently, he didn't think so…" I couldn't understand how he felt. I wanted to though; I wanted to be able to sympathize with him. But I couldn't… "I love him." I was shocked – to say in the least. Hayner and Roxas promised never to say that to each other unless they were _positive _they meant it. "I'm gonna head home." I nodded and he climbed off of me, letting me get out. He drove off almost immediately.

I walked back to the park and everyone looked in my direction, all but for Roxas, who was walking and kicking a rock. I marched up to him and shoved him into a wall. "What the hell!?"

"Tell me what you two fought about." I wasn't yelling, but I thought I sounded pretty scary.

"None of your business."

"It is when my best friend drives off alone after seeing his 'boyfriend' making out with someone else."

"What does it matter to you? All you care is that you can talk and about how many times you and Ax can do it with still being able to walk straight." I hit him. Like punched him. In the face.

"Sora!" I shook my head when I heard Axel walking through the sand until he stopped.

Roxas hit me back, but it was from pure shock that I fell to the floor. When I got up, I hit Roxas again, this time getting air when he ducked. I'm not even sure what happened after that, everything was all blurry and the sun beating down on my skin caused me to shy away from it. Next thing I know, Axel's holding me back while Seifer's doing the same to my whore-of-a-brother. We were yelling insults at each other, both of us trying to bet free of their arms. It was hard though, they were both like twice our size.

I stopped struggling slightly and started to sway, my head was pounding and my hands felt like they were being crushed. I held them up to my chest and tried to cry out in pain when I was sent into another coughing fit, coughing up tons of blood on the concrete, obviously not being able to hide it from everyone.

My name was being called but I couldn't reply to anyone. I barely noticed Axel sinking to the ground with me in his arms.

**xxx**

_And that's the story………_

_Okay, I was just seeing who would freak if I said that. XD _

_So, tell me what you think. I totally know what the next chapter is going to be about. Eek! I can't friggin wait!_


	12. It's Finally Over, Got It Memorized?

**_Title: It's Finally Over, Got it Memorized?  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **The words in bold are from a poem written by the lovely _Yoshimara, _who I'm trying to convince to be my lesbian lover. Anyways, the poem is called **_Love's Barrier_** and no one is allowed to use it without her permission. I'm sorry for any errors, I couldn't re-read. I...just couldn't. And you'll understand when you finish it...

**xxx**

Waking up had been hell, opening my eyes had been hell, and finding myself on a hospital bed had made the hell even more hellish. Yeah, as you can tell, I'm not in a good mood. I feel like shite and the lights are seriously hurting me. Then when everyone realized I was awake, they all started crowding me and I just wanted to tell them to back the fuck off. And that's when I remembered, I could talk. "Back up." I croaked out, making it seem like I _just _got my voice back.

"Sora…" Axel came forward when I nodded and pressed our lips together chastely, not pulling away until there was a throat clearing. I looked around Axel to see the same doctor that saw me last time standing there.

"Mr. Hikari," He greeted then looked around at everyone in the room. There was Axel and my mom, Roxas and Hayner, and even Seifer and Demyx was there. "Anyways…we may need to run some more tests, but I may know what your condition is. Now, tell me your symptoms from the last week."

He was about to hand me a pen and paper, but instead I started talking. "I've been coughing up blood, and it hurts every time I'm outside in the sun," I paused to think about it, and chuckled at the doctor's shocked face. "Uhm…before I…passed out(?) my wrist, from here," I pointed to the crease of my elbow to write before my hand, "to here, hurt like a freakin' mofo. And uhm…I've been getting lightheaded right after I get these _really _bad headaches."

"I'd like to run some tests to see if you are anemic, and if you are…I may know what your diagnosis is."

"Can you tell me?" Seriously, don't expect me not to ask.

"Systemic lupus erythematosis." And don't expect me to know what that means. Before I could ask, he left the room.

"Roxy?" I looked over at him, seeing that he had a black eye and a bruise on his jaw.

"Already on it," He had one of those…types of phones that had the keyboard and internet access and everything, "Got it! 'Systemic lupus erythematosis (SLE) is a chronic, inflammatory autoimmune disorder. It may affect the skin, joints, kidneys, and other organs.' Uh…let's see…'The underlying cause of autoimmune diseases is not fully known. Some researchers think autoimmune diseases occur after infection with an organism that looks like certain proteins in the body. The proteins are later mistaken for the organism and wrongly targeted for attack by the body's immune system.'"

"What's the cure?" I asked, trying to take in what he was telling me…

"Oh…"

"Oh what?" Grr!

"Uhm…There is no cure for SLE…"

"Sora? Love, are you okay?" I shook my head and held my hand out for Axel. Once he took it, I pulled him so he was laying on the bed with me. "Shh, it'll all be okay." I shook my head again and curled into his chest, being careful of the IV in my arm. I heard the door open. "Hold out your arm, baby." I did, but I still didn't move my head out of Axel's chest. I barely felt the poke of the needle in my arm, but I did feel the blood being taken, I felt very lightheaded, and when I looked down to the tube she was filling up, I saw it wasn't even half-full.

She ended up having to do to more veins before the tube and a second one was full.

"Roxas? What are the symptoms to 'SLE'?" I finally asked, wondering how many I had.

"You sure you wanna know?" I nodded. I heard him typing on the keyboard on his phone before he started listing the symptoms. Turns out I had nine of those symptoms. Out of like twenty-seven. Not _too_ bad. But before I freaked out even more, I was going to wait for the doctor to come back into the room.

"How many tests are they doing?" I asked, facing the room again.

"Well, when you were asleep, they did quite a few, but while you were out of it, the nurse said they were going to do a CBC – whatever that is – and an ESR. Again, I don't know what either of those tests do, so, sorry sweetie." I smiled at my mother, who was trying hard to stay calm through all this. I knew she was freaking, that's been the first thing she's said since I woke up.

There was a small knock on the door and everyone held their breath – and I mean quite literally.

"Mr. Hikari…" I sighed and knew that look, I saw that look on the doctor's face when he announced that our dad had an incurable disease, much like me… "I'm sorry to tell you," My eyes watered, and closing them did nothing to stop the tears. "But you have Systemic lupus erythematosis. It seems that when you got your voice back – you ruptured a vessel that needed certain proteins to heal, you're body must have confused them, leading to this diagnosis." And I balled, curled into Axel once again and cried like no freakin' tomorrow. "Sir, you probably know, it is incurable, but it's not completely hopeless. Not all cases end in death. If we can single out the symptoms and treat them individuality, you can live a semi normal life but you may have to come in every once a while for blood transfusions and you must take iron pills to make up for the blood you may lose.

"I will return later with your prescription and papers. You may go home when you wish once the papers are drawn up. I'm sorry." Then he left the room, leaving everyone – bar Demyx and Seifer – to break down into tears, as though I had already…died…

Oh my god…there's a chance I can die…a _huge_ chance…I don't wanna die. I'm too young; I'm not even an adult yet.

"Honey, do you want to go home?" My mother asked, her voice clouded with tears.

"Yes." I said right before I started coughing, blood coming up with it. My right wrist hurt as I covered my mouth. Axel cleaned my hand with a wash cloth that appeared out of nowhere. "I'm sorry." Don't ask why I was apologizing, I just felt like I should.

"It's not your fault…and before you argue, let's just get you home." I closed my mouth and nodded. I did want to go home, sleep in my bed, Axel's arms wrapped around me. That sounds perfect just about now.

**xxx**

We had to stop by the pharmacy to drop off my prescriptions. There were four of them; one to bring up my iron; one for the headaches; one for the swelling and arthritis; and then the last one for the pain that the doctor was convinced was going to come soon. The medicine was expected to be ready the next day, but until then, everyone went home – my house, actually – and we all were around the TV, watching some random movie that I wasn't paying attention to.

Axel and I were laying on the only comfy couch and were taking up the whole thing. Demyx was sitting under Axel's big feet. Roxas was laying on both Seifer and Hayner, his head on Seifer's lap while Hayner was giving one of his orgasmically orgasmic foot massages. I'm jealous…

As I said before, I wasn't paying attention to the TV, I was more than out of it. Nothing seemed right anymore, I felt like I should be making a list about what I want to do before I die, like they did on The Bucket List – which was a freakin' awesome movie, by the way.

"I'm going to bed." I said, getting up and leaving, not looking at anyone. I ignored Axel's call of my name, and continued upstairs to my room. I sat on the bed, finding another blood-stained razor and holding it in my hands, flipping it over in my palm. It was tempting, but I know how much Axel and everyone would fight to keep me alive, and they'll continue to fight till the day I die of this deadly disease.

"Sora?" I didn't look up when Axel walked in. "Don't!" He fell forward and grabbed my wrist, making me drop the blade.

"I wasn't going to." And that's the truth. I wasn't. I was just thinking about.

"Just, please don't…" His voice was shaking and I saw him grab the razor off the floor and laid it on my dresser.

"I won't." I fell back on my bed a looked up, feeling my head start to pound and feel light at the same time. "I…just want to know why. Why me?"

"Baby," Axel got up and climbed on the bed with me, leaning partially over me as he brushed back my spiky hair. "I can't answer that for you. But I know that we're not going to give up, okay?" I nodded, feeling like I needed to cry, but not being able to. "Everything's gonna be fine. I promise you. You're not going anywh-" His phone started to ring. He smiled apologetically while answering it. "Zack! Hey! What's…oh my god…are you okay? I'd come…but Sora's uh, sick…Reno's there?" I blocked out the rest of the conversation, I really didn't care to eavesdrop on him, and so I simply focused on the ceiling.

"Sora?" I looked over to the door, and saw everyone standing there, all trying to look in. "Mom cooked dinner."

**xxx**

Mom made me go to school the next day. She started crying when she told me that I had to live my life like nothing happened. I ended up calming her down before leaving with Axel and Seifer to walk to school while Roxas and Hayner worked out their problems before driving to school. Seifer apparently lived right around the corner from where we did. And Hayner spent the night, sleeping down in the living room.

"Y'know, Christmas is next month." Seifer said, starting conversation.

"I know, and it's going to be Sora's and mine official Christmas together." I smiled as he bent to peck my cheek.

"Aww, aren't you two adorable." Seifer said in a sing-songy voice. "Well, I'm gonna wait for Hayn to drop Rox off. See ya later." He then walked toward the drop-off zone. Axel and I continued to our spot under the tree, sitting there in the cold, but huddled up together to keep warm.

"Sora, I love you." I smiled widely and kissed him softly, slowly and meaningfully.

"I love you too Axel." I don't think he could have smiled wider. "And…I'm still sorry about what happened with Zack…" Zack got into an accident – ending up being paralyzed waist down. He had wanted Axel there before he went into the surgery that was supposed to see if it was repairable. Zack went in this morning, about thirty minutes ago, giving Axel a call before he did.

"I just hope he isn't paralyzed for life…he said he'll call me in a few days after he recovers, but I'm thinking about calling Reno after school to see how it went." I nodded, staying silent when he mentioned his brother. "Hey, hey, hey," Axel lifted my chin so he could meet my gaze. "Stop feeling guilty about it. I don't care anymore; it's over and done with. Yeah, Reno and I will probably never be the same, but I'd choose you over anyone _any _day."

"Why are you so sweet?" I asked, smiling when he smiled. He leaned in for a kiss, but before we could, a purple folder with 'Zexion' written all over it with hearts surrounding the name was held between us. If I wasn't mistaken, that was a freshman who was obsessed with reading. I stopped smiling when said folder stopped our lips from going together.

"I'm not in the mood for gay porn," Demyx said, plopping down in my boyfriend's lap. "Hold me, Axey."

"What happened this time?" Axel softly said, petting Demyx's mullet.

"Ya know that freshman, Zexion, that I was telling you about? Well," He continued without waiting for a reply. "He turned me down again, I can't _freaking _believe it! He said, and I quote, 'Why would _I _want to date _you_; a badly dressed, immature child that doesn't know how to open a book without using it as a pillow.' And that's not it! Then he said that my mullet looked retarded and something about my hair relating to my IQ, but I didn't get what he meant…"

"He means that you're IQ is probably less than the year your hair was popular in, meaning you have an IQ of below eighties. He was clearly calling you stupid," Axel explained softly, like one would to a child. It made me smile, thinking how Ax would look and act like a father… "I'm sorry to say this, Dem, but he insulted you _while _he was turning you down. Maybe you should give up. You've been trying since August."

"But…I _really _like him. I mean, he's smart, witty, and _sexy as hell!_ I want to go out with him…" Demyx's pout was _sooo _adorable.

"I know you do, but why don't you give him some space, he'll come around eventually, once he realizes what a great guy you are."

"Like you did?" Demyx said, laying his head under Axel's chin. I looked at Axel's eyes. He was avoiding eye contact with me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Axel and I used to date!" Demyx said cheerily. "He was my first!" Wow, I don't think Demyx understood that this wasn't something you tell to said person's boyfriend.

"Really now?" I asked.

"Yeah!" He was still bouncy. "We were together until he met some kid online and then he wouldn't stop talking about him. I didn't mind, that was until I saw some of the text messages between them…those were-"

"Dem!" Axel snapped, pinching his thigh. "That _kid _was/_is _Sora!"

"Aw crap! Sorry, Ax, Sora…" I smiled and ignored it. I didn't really mind. I knew Axel was with someone, it just totally slipped my mind once we started to get close to each other and then I never even thought about it as we started to meet in person. "So, you stole my man? You homewrecker!" I would have taken it offensively if it wasn't for the smile that graced Demyx's lips in a playful manner.

"Demyx!" We all looked up to see some kid with slate-colored hair approach us. Most of his hair was thrown forward, covering one of his pale blue eyes and he was marching over here with a big book in his arms that were folded over his chest. "Did you put this note in my book?" He pulled out a lined paper that had calligraphic writing on it.

"Yeah, I know you like poems and reading and whatnot, so I wrote that for you." Demyx placed his hand on Axel's shoulder to use it as leverage to stand up. He walked over to Zexion and took one of his hands in his own.

_"**A simple kiss  
Was all it took  
Sending my heart aflutter**"_

I listened closely, smiling in awe as he continued through the poem, his eyes staying connected with Zexion's.

"**_'I love you...'  
Whispers in the wind  
Words falling faster  
Than I can catch them  
Sparks fly  
Another kiss  
And it starts again._**"

I looked to Axel for a moment, and that was all it took for Zexion to drop his big gimungo dictionary-type book and jump into Demyx's arms, kissing him. Deeply from what it looked like from here.

Axel turned my chin towards him and pressed our lips together, kissing me deeply, as well.

We were interrupted once again when Roxas smacked the back of my head. "What was that for?" I rubbed the spot and leaned against Axel's chest, his hand slowly running through my hair soothingly.

"Don't worry, I hit Dem too." I 'oh'ed and sat back up, forgetting it already. "So, Zexy, you took my advice?" Roxas asked, sitting down next to me, and leaning against Seifer – who I totally forgot was there.

"Advice? What?!" Demyx looked from his soon-to-be boyfriend and my brother.

"Yeah, yesterday when you talked about him nonstop, I _had_ to text him and tell him. He told me that apparently you've been trying to get with him since the beginning of the year, so I told him to give you a chance, he may surprise you.

"That was after I found the poem Dem wrote for yZexy, and told him to give it to him. Obviously he did, see how well it worked out?"

"Yes, you're a natural." Seifer commented and wrapped his arms around Roxy. I rolled my eyes and stood only a second before the bell rang.

**xxx **

Christmas came and went, snow only barely falling, but not enough to build snowmen or anything. Axel had gotten me a ring box, but not with a ring in it, I knew it wouldn't have had one, inside was a paper with a promise that he was going to propose on my birthday.

New Year went by even faster, Axel and I sharing a kiss under mistletoe once the clock struck midnight. My birthday was tomorrow, and Axel had this whole evening planned out and I couldn't wait for it. He was going to propose, I knew it, and he said he would. And he never breaks his promises any more, making me trust him once again.

I still had headaches and coughed up blood, but the pills that the doctor gave me helped a lot. There would be some days that I couldn't and wouldn't be able to get out of bed. I'd just lay there, Axel holding me and singing me to sleep with his soft voice. It was so soothing at times, and at others it'd be the sexiest thing ever, making me want to make love to him right then and there. And sometimes we did, over. And over again. It was hot.

School was out for break still, and all six of us were closer than ever. Yeah, Dem and Zexion are dating and both joined our group. Seifer and Hayner were still pretty much fighting over Roxas since he couldn't choose between them. I think he was still fucking Hayn, but only making out with Seifer…I don't know, I didn't care, so I didn't know the whole story. I only knew what Axel knew, and he knew what he knew because Roxas confided in him.

Axel obviously only told me part of the story.

Right now, I was sitting in the living room, watching Seifer and Hayner battle on some game, both obviously trying to impress Roxas with their video game skills. Although, Roxas was currently in the kitchen, making dinner with mom, they were still trying to beat each other with an unnecessary rivalry. Demyx and Zexion were over, cuddling on the one-seater, kissing only occasionally.

"Yo! Guys! Dinner's ready!" He came into the living room with his hands behind his back. "But I wanted to know if Sora wanted to go outside first." Roxas suggested.

"Why would I want to go outside?" Roxas held out a ball of something and threw it at me. It hit my chest and was cold as hell. I looked down, and I swear, I _felt _my face light up. It was snow. And It was obviously enough to have a snowball fight! "Let's go!" I got up and grabbed my winter clothes, getting dressed in record time.

When everyone was ready, I ran outside, catching the snow on my tongue, laughing when it melted right away. I spun in a circle, but stopped when I saw everyone standing on the porch. "What?" I know I sounded childish, but I like snow.

"Nothing, my love." Axel said and walked out into the snow, the flakes landing on his bright red hair and making it look weird. _"Let's start a snowball fight."_ He whispered when he bent to give me a hug.

"But, Ax…that's _really _immature."

"Says the person catching snowflakes on his tongue…" I slapped him on the arm and ran around, pretending to slip and fall, only to grab a ball of snow and chuck it at Axel when I turned around. "Sora!" I smiled and scooped up some more snow, dodging the snowball Axel threw at me. I saw out of the corner of my eye all the guys picking up their own snowballs. I knew who they were going to throw it at. I threw one at Roxas the snow falling on his blonde spikes.

"Snowball fight!" Demyx yelled, running over to me and standing by my side. We smiled at each other and started to team up on Zexion and Roxas who had formed their own alliance. While we were attacking them, Seifer, Hayner, and Axel were attacking us from behind – not a word…

Dem and I were back to back, our hands full with snowballs, only to lose them seconds later. I smiled and laughed happily, ignoring the oncoming headache and pain that hurt my arms. I looked up and saw the sun, it feeling like a sauna all of a sudden. Axel hit me with a snowball and I started to sway. I dropped the snow that I was holding and collapsed to the ground, holding my head in my hands.

"Sora!" Axel was next to me, gathering me in his arms. "Breathe, just relax. Roxas! Get his medicine!" The medicine he was talking about was supposed to calm my heart so I wouldn't go into cardiac arrest. It was an emergency type thing, fast-acting. Once I was injected with it, it was supposed to take immediate effect. Usually it did, but once I did go into cardiac arrest, easily making it through it because I was young and semi-healthy.

Axel took the clear thing off the needle and stuck it in my arm where he rolled up my sleeve. I could feel the medicine go through my veins, actually being able to hear the pounding in my ears start to slow. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and falling asleep, Axel's scent of green apple the last thing I was aware of. That and his soft words of, _"That's it, my love, sleep."_

**xxx**

I woke up to Axel whispering in my ear, his hand running along my completely bare skin in a slow manner. "Hey, love, I know you're awake. Come on, get up." He chuckled as he stroked my length.

"I _am _up." I mumbled tiredly, bucking my hips up into his hand when he wrapped it around me.

"I see, or shall I say _feel_?" I smiled and opened my eyes, looking into his dark emerald eyes.

"Why are you dressed?" I asked, noticing him in a really nice outfit. "You know the rules, no clothes are allowed to be worn on my bed, lest they be ripped in the process of removing them." He laughed at me, kissing me softly.

"But, we don't have time for that, we only have time for this," And he went down, taking me into my mouth without hesitating. I arched my back and ran my hands through his hair, gripping slightly when he moaned and sent vibrations straight to my core. His mouth was going at a tortuously slow pace while he sucked gently, knowing how to get me off in just the right way. Maybe a minute or two later, I was coming in his mouth, breathing his name out in a soft sigh.

When I tugged on his spikes, he let me go and crawled up beside me. "I love you," I whispered, noticing that his eyes still lit up when I said it.

"And I you, my love, now we have to go soon if we want to make the reservations. Roxas laid your clothes out, they're on your desk. I'll be waiting downstairs for you, so hurry. Oh, and happy eighteenth birthday!" Axel left me with a long loving kiss before leaving me with cold and lonely on the bed.

Sighing, I closed my eyes, feeling absolutely content. When I breathed out, I coughed, blood ending up on my sheets when I had leaned to the side. I growled and stood, taking a quick drink of water before looking over the outfit. It was an outfit that I had never seen before, the shirt was a pretty green color that matched Axel's eyes, and the pants were a simple black.

I got dressed and went downstairs, seeing Axel standing there with a white rose in his hand. I took it and blushed lightly when he kissed me on the lips in a totally sweet way.

"Hayner offered his car, but I know how much you love walking in the snow at night."

"Wait! It's night already? You mean I slept my whole birthday?" Axel nodded sadly. I should have known. That liquid usually kept me asleep for a few days, I probably only woke because Axel woke me up. "Okay…and yes, I would love to walk."

Roxas and my mom were all excited, along with Hayn and Seif. And Dem, and Zexy. They all knew what was going to happen, and they think _they _were happy? I was freakin' ecstatic! The love of my life was going to propose. Tonight! I could wait! Ignoring everyone, Axel took my hand in his, and led us outside, walking us to the main part of town. He led me into an expensive restaurant whose name I couldn't even pronounce. We were seated in a secluded area, candles were lit and red rose petals littered the tablecloth.

"Sorry, they didn't have any white roses…" Axel said, obviously embarrassed.

"That's okay, it's perfect," I smiled at him.

Dinner passed in silence, all but for the occasional, but meaningful 'I love you' that we whispered to each other in silence. Axel paid for the dinner, getting money from god knows where and laying it on the table before leading me outside to where it was snowing lightly. It was kind of cold outside, but Axel had given me his jacket to keep me warm. My hands were getting kind of cold, so I put them in the pockets, shocked to find a box shaped object. I pulled it out and looked to Axel. Before I could say anything, he took it from me and knelt to the ground, opening the box slowly to reveal a thin silver band that had words etched into it. "Sora Lee Hikari, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" I gasped and felt tears start to stream down my cheeks, not believing this was finally happening. I mean, I knew he would propose tonight, but now that the moment was here, I was speechless. I dumbly nodded my head, not being able to say anything at that moment.

Axel removed the ring from the box and slid it on my left ring finger.

"Perfect." He whispered before kissing me slowly. I don't know whether he was talking about the ring, or me. I just know that I felt everything he was feeling through that kiss. Everything felt intensified. My hearing caught his breathing hitch, my smelling caught the scent of salty tears and my hands felt even more perfect with the ring around my finger.

I pulled from the kiss, starting to feel lightheaded. It must have been from the rush of feelings that I was getting from all this. I smiled at Axel. He smiled back. We kissed once more, before everything was gone…

_-The End-_

**Author's Note:**_ Yeah, that's it…I'm serious this time. I did it, and I'm depressed. I'm crying, a lot. It's over…and he's gone…I'm sorry everyone. I hope this story was what you wanted. I thank everyone who took the time to read and review this story, and those of you who didn't, I just thank you for reading it and really hoped you enjoyed it._

**_Watch out for the epilogue, it'll clear everything up - or should._**


	13. Epilogue

**_Title: Epilogue  
Author: _**_Izzy-Lawliet (Rin)_**_  
Disclaimer: _**_Let's go over this slowly so you can understand what I'm saying. I do not own this. If I did, do you seriously think that I would be typing a poorly written story like this?**  
Pairings: **Axel/Sora_**_  
Rating: _**_M_**_  
Warnings: _**_AU, yaoi and whatever comes along with it._

**Summary: **_They met online, met in person, and became friends, what's stopping them from becoming more? _

**Author's Note: **This is the epilogue. The end. I cried when I read this. Sobbing. Yoshimara wrote it for me because she loves me. I really hops all of you enjoyed this as much I did.

Thank you Yoshimara, it was perfect…

**xxx**

_Axel's PoV_

It's been six months since that night, and I stared out at the cold starless sky through my bedroom window. I haven't yet cried ever since what happened, and my eyes continued to itch no matter what I did. Oh, God, I missed him!

My chest ached and I furrowed my brow in thought, remembering what took place...

_It was cold outside when we stepped outside of the restaurant. Dinner was perfect, just like I planned and the snow was falling softly in the air around us. When I felt tiny hands working their way into my pockets, I looked down to see Sora's hands in them and smiled._

_After all the stuff we went through, it was totally worth it to have him beside me. I saw the look of confusion cross his baby-blue eyes before pulling out the small box I had hidden away. You idiot, a voice spoke up in the back of my head—funny, it sounded like Roxas, you forgot to ask!_

_Taking the box from his hands, I knelt on the ground—which was cold, by the way—and opened it to reveal the simple silver band with the etchings inside of it. "Sora Lee Hikari, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" _

_Because I didn't look away from his eyes, I saw him gasp and the tears begin to fall. I knew they were happy tears, so I didn't worry. But he looked so beautiful just then, better than I've seen him in months._

_When he nodded his head, I smiled and slid the band on his finger. Straightening to my feet slightly, I leaned forward so our lips were close before whispering,_

_"Perfect."_

_I kissed him so softly, but not so that I thought he'd break. Pouring how much I loved him into the contact, I felt a slight tremble in his body before I opened my eyes to see him pulling away, a smile on his face._

_But the smile soon slipped away when I caught him as he collapsed. The snow began to fall harder and I felt panic rise in my throat. "Oh God," I uttered, holding him close before looking around me frantically. Where the hell was the rest of the world?_

_"HELP!" I yelled loudly, not wanting to move my lover just in case it would make it worse. "SOMEONE HELP! GOD DAMN IT!"_

_Looking back down at Sora's face, I saw it was paler than normal and my heart ached in fear. No, don't you DARE, I thought frantically. I just got this kid back and..._

_"HELP US!" I yelled again, looking up to see a young woman across the street in her 'too good to be seen in public' outfit of a jacket and skirt. She looked towards us, her silver hair bouncing before she ran towards us in her knee high boots. "What--?" She asked before I said quickly, "Do you have a phone?"_

_With her nod she flipped it out and immediately called for an ambulance. But I didn't care about that, help was on the way for my love and I looked back down at him. I wrapped my jacket around him tighter, trying to keep him warm and I kept whispering, "It'll be okay, Sora. Helps' comin'."_

_I didn't know why this was happening. Everything was going so well! He seemed to be getting better, we were happy..._

_Sirens were heard down the street and quickly I stood up with him in my arms. I held him close, almost not wanting to let him go but he needed help. So when the paramedics showed up, I gave him over and hopped into the back with them, holding his hand as they stuck needles in his arms and put an oxygen mask over his face._

_He had snow in his hair but I didn't bother to brush it away. He looked so peaceful..._

_When we got to the hospital, I sat in the waiting room pacing feverishly. I hope he was okay, I didn't know what would happen if I lost him. A few minutes before I had phoned Roxas and the gang to let them know what happened, and they were on their way._

_When they showed up, Roxas hugged me. His eyes were red-rimmed—had he been crying? Of course he would be, his brother was in the hospital. I relayed the story to them, exactly what happened and he just shook his head, muttering to himself._

_Seifer and Hayner held onto him as they all sat down in the chairs. I slumped down in one of them too, waiting for what seemed like hours._

Shifting slightly so I leaned against the headboard on my bed, my head leaning against the windowsill, I sighed softly. I've been so empty for the last few months. It's all been so—surreal. Like it wasn't actually happening. Maybe it was all a dream?

Wouldn't that be nice, huh? Just to wake up one day to realize all of this was nothing but that. Closing my eyes, I felt them sting again. Damnit...

_Two hours passed when the doctor came out, some old guy, and told us where Sora was. I was on my feet in no time, running down the hallways and to the door where my lover was. Heaving a steadying breath, I opened it to see the room was dim and to hear the beeping of the heart monitor._

_He lay on that stiff mattress, bleached sheets covering his hospital gown clad body. Brown spikes were limp and his skin was so pale. Tubes of all kinds were sticking out of him and I bit my bottom lip. Walking over to him, I held his limp hand and whispered, "It's gonna be alright, Sora."_

_Roxas, Seifer, and Hayner walked in then, his brother making his way to the other side. We sat there for a long time until the doctor came back and told us the situation._

I thought I died that day. Maybe I did just a little bit. Staring out at the blank sky, some part of me thought that it was reflecting just how I felt. Reno had gone home yesterday, so I was stuck alone in the house.

It was cold, but I didn't care. The sting in my eyes grew worse and it was almost unbearable. Closing my eyes again, I wiped at them feverishly. Why do I keep it all inside?

_A week later, Reno showed up at my apartment and literally flung himself at me. He cried on my chest as I held him, but I said nothing while he babbled on how it was so horrible and that he feared the worst._

_He pretty much summed up what I thought all the time, and I knew that he wasn't going to leave even if I asked him to. But, I couldn't cry. I had to be strong for everyone. So I held him tight and told him it was going to be okay, rocked him slightly until he fell asleep._

_'Funny,' I thought when he was tucked into bed, 'you would have thought nothing ever happened between us.'_

_Three months passed and Reno still hadn't left, but we both visited the hospital every day with Roxas at our side. When we showed up that day, we found the doctor examining him. He had a grim look on his face and I felt my heart plummet at the sight._

_Sora hadn't woken up yet, and of course we were all worried. But when the doctor told us that day that Sora wouldn't wake up because..._

_"Mr. Hikari seems to have slipped into a coma. I'm not sure why, but his brain functions have slowed, and if we're not careful his organs might begin to fail. We're going to try our best not to let that happen."_

_I don't know what happened next, but Roxas held onto me on one side and Reno on the other. Looking between them, it looked like they weren't going to be able to stand. I ended up moving them to the chairs that sat on the opposite side of the bed, and held onto their hands._

_"W-What chances are there that he's going to wake up?"_

_The doctor shook his head, "I'm not sure."_

I died some more on that day. Was it because I knew I wouldn't ever see those blue eyes look up at me anymore? Or because deep down I knew that even when I proposed to him, it would have ended before it begun? But I couldn't be weak in front of everyone else.

Shifting so I wrapped my blankets over my shoulders, not because I was cold, but because I could still smell Sora on them, even after so long. It was always a tantalizing smell, one that always made me crave for more—or maybe chocolate.

_Two months later, I received a phone call from Roxas and he was pretty upset. And by upset I mean sniffling and whimpering, not exactly making any coherent words for the first minute of our conversation._

_"Rox? What's the matter?"_

_"I-It's Sora..."_

_"Did he wake up?" I was worried. Did they—?_

_"They...oh God, __Axel!"_

_I knew right then that it wasn't what I hoped it would be. My eyes began to sting again but I shook my head, gripping my phone tightly._

_"I'm on my way."_

_Three days later the funeral was held. It wasn't your typical setting. The sun was shining, and it was warm for a spring day. But we were all dressed accordingly, standing around the burgundy coffin with the faint breeze swirling around us._

_I barely paid attention to the sermon the preacher was giving, only thinking of my love and his smile, his laugh—everything he did that made him what he was. Remembering how we met, all the troubles we went through..._

_Before I knew it, the service was over and we all went to Roxas' house for the remembrance feast. But of course, I stayed by everyone's side and kept quiet, giving them the support they needed. They all asked me if I was okay, which I just smiled and nodded._

_So, yeah...I lied._

Opening my eyes and staring at the sky, I saw the rain beginning to fall and a fleeting thought passed my mind as a tear slid down my cheek._ Is it alright to want to be with you again, love?_


	14. Author's Note: New Story

Hello all!

Now, it's been a good many years since I have written and finished this story. But over these past few months I have been wanting to rewrite it, and speaking to byamon, I have decided to. I will be deleting this story, and uploading a new version of AKUSORA. It will be in 3rd person, be longer, be more detailed, with a few different plot changes. I will be deleting this story most likely within the next two weeks to assure that anyone who will want to read the advised version, will be able t.


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